Heartbeat ❦ (3)
I have no time to beta but I didn't want to delay this update any longer. Also, there will be an epilogue so this isn't the end :) Goodnight!
Heartbeat ❦ | G
Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Nurture me with your love and affection. Please never leave me.
It's some time after six in the evening. The bed is cold and empty when I open my eyes. I am greeted dully by the quiet vacant apartment. I feel powerless to start this day on my own.
You are gone and I don't know where you are, but I know you are with him. Pain pricks all over me, underneath my skin, when I remember.
The last several weeks since he invited you into his life, the changes after that are the most difficult to cope with. Everything is different. You are different. He invites you to go out with him all the time and you always go with him with the most pleasant smile on your lips. I can't remember one moment when you're smiling at me with him in your mind.
He sings you the songs you like. He keeps you warm at night. He is everything you’ve imagined him to be and he surprises you every day by being more. What do you like about me, Ryeowook-ah?
For the next couple of hours, I'm curled up on the seat by the window, watching the rain fall lightly outside.
I don't hear the footsteps coming. I only awake from my thoughts when I hear the front door unlocking with a click. The thought of seeing you makes my heart quake, but when I hear his voice behind the wooden door, I lose hope. As quietly as I can, I go back into the bedroom and hide-disappear from your life and his, just like you expect me to.
The front door swings open and I don't manage to shut the bedroom door entirely in time. Your quiet laughter fills the apartment when you step inside and the sound of your voice rekindles the slow beating of my heart. I peer through the gap of the slightly ajar door and my breathing stops when I see you standing right there. In the dimness of the apartment, all my eyes see is you.
"Thank you for tonight, Kyu," you say timidly. Your head is lowered and I know your cheeks are burning pink with shyness. "I don't remember having so much fun before," you tell him honestly.
He laughs softly in return, but I cannot see him pass the door. I have never seen him before for all this time and I am undeniably curious about it. "You're very welcome," he says and I imagine the charming smile on his face. “I’m relieved you enjoyed yourself. I had my doubts about how much you’d like watching me perform at the café.”
You shake your head with denial. "No, no. You were amazing on stage just now. I love your performance very much," you say. “The song you wrote for me…” Your words become softer and softer. “Thank you… so much…” Your sentence trails on. You’re crying.
“You’re crying,” he says softly and you bend your head lower, hiding your face behind the streaks of your brown fringe. He steps forward and cups your face in his palms, fingers grazing your hair and wiping away your tears. The door frame stills blocks his face and I feel the anticipation well up inside of me. “Hey,” he calls out softly. “Are you alright?”
You look at him for a long time and then you nod your head in response. He pats your head and lets you go.
“Ah, I’m so silly,” you laugh softly as you look away and I can hear the faint disappointment in your words. The only thing he hasn’t done is tell you that he loves you. You wipe your wet eyes on the too-long sleeve of your sweater. “It’s late,” you tell him without any intention. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kyu.”
You move to close the door when all the sudden he strides through the door smoothly and stands so close in front of you. He holds your shoulders in his hands an you stare at him with wide eyes. So do I.
Everything falls into place in my head as I take in the sight of him standing in front of you. I finally understand my story, my purpose to you. Not only his name, but I am the owner to a face and body just like his. His brown hair, dark eyes and slightly curled lips are all too familiar. I am his exact copy, but I am imperfect.
“Ryeowook,” he whispers your name and I watch my lips move to your name but his voice is the one that sounds. I can almost feel the warmth of your skin under my fingertips when he strokes your flushed cheek with his hand-my hands. His eyes bore into yours affectionately and the image of your face reflected in my eyes is forever in my mind. You’re perfect in his eyes-my eyes.
"I really like you," he breathes out finally and your eyes have opened wide.
You part your mouth to speak but before your words come out; he leans in low and seals your lips together. My heart nearly stops beating. He is kissing you, but I can almost taste the light cream and strawberry in your breath when your eyes flutter close and your tiptoe to kiss him back. He holds you close to his tall frame and kisses you even more deeply and I can see you smiling.
It's a beautiful picture, but that isn't me. Those hands that brush over your warm skin and those lips that presses against yours, they aren't mine just like how you're not mine. I don't belong myself even.
Ryeowook-ah, what will you do once you tire of your doll?
* * *
Heartbeat ❦ | G
Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Nurture me with your love and affection. Please never leave me.
It's some time after six in the evening. The bed is cold and empty when I open my eyes. I am greeted dully by the quiet vacant apartment. I feel powerless to start this day on my own.
You are gone and I don't know where you are, but I know you are with him. Pain pricks all over me, underneath my skin, when I remember.
The last several weeks since he invited you into his life, the changes after that are the most difficult to cope with. Everything is different. You are different. He invites you to go out with him all the time and you always go with him with the most pleasant smile on your lips. I can't remember one moment when you're smiling at me with him in your mind.
He sings you the songs you like. He keeps you warm at night. He is everything you’ve imagined him to be and he surprises you every day by being more. What do you like about me, Ryeowook-ah?
For the next couple of hours, I'm curled up on the seat by the window, watching the rain fall lightly outside.
I don't hear the footsteps coming. I only awake from my thoughts when I hear the front door unlocking with a click. The thought of seeing you makes my heart quake, but when I hear his voice behind the wooden door, I lose hope. As quietly as I can, I go back into the bedroom and hide-disappear from your life and his, just like you expect me to.
The front door swings open and I don't manage to shut the bedroom door entirely in time. Your quiet laughter fills the apartment when you step inside and the sound of your voice rekindles the slow beating of my heart. I peer through the gap of the slightly ajar door and my breathing stops when I see you standing right there. In the dimness of the apartment, all my eyes see is you.
"Thank you for tonight, Kyu," you say timidly. Your head is lowered and I know your cheeks are burning pink with shyness. "I don't remember having so much fun before," you tell him honestly.
He laughs softly in return, but I cannot see him pass the door. I have never seen him before for all this time and I am undeniably curious about it. "You're very welcome," he says and I imagine the charming smile on his face. “I’m relieved you enjoyed yourself. I had my doubts about how much you’d like watching me perform at the café.”
You shake your head with denial. "No, no. You were amazing on stage just now. I love your performance very much," you say. “The song you wrote for me…” Your words become softer and softer. “Thank you… so much…” Your sentence trails on. You’re crying.
“You’re crying,” he says softly and you bend your head lower, hiding your face behind the streaks of your brown fringe. He steps forward and cups your face in his palms, fingers grazing your hair and wiping away your tears. The door frame stills blocks his face and I feel the anticipation well up inside of me. “Hey,” he calls out softly. “Are you alright?”
You look at him for a long time and then you nod your head in response. He pats your head and lets you go.
“Ah, I’m so silly,” you laugh softly as you look away and I can hear the faint disappointment in your words. The only thing he hasn’t done is tell you that he loves you. You wipe your wet eyes on the too-long sleeve of your sweater. “It’s late,” you tell him without any intention. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kyu.”
You move to close the door when all the sudden he strides through the door smoothly and stands so close in front of you. He holds your shoulders in his hands an you stare at him with wide eyes. So do I.
Everything falls into place in my head as I take in the sight of him standing in front of you. I finally understand my story, my purpose to you. Not only his name, but I am the owner to a face and body just like his. His brown hair, dark eyes and slightly curled lips are all too familiar. I am his exact copy, but I am imperfect.
“Ryeowook,” he whispers your name and I watch my lips move to your name but his voice is the one that sounds. I can almost feel the warmth of your skin under my fingertips when he strokes your flushed cheek with his hand-my hands. His eyes bore into yours affectionately and the image of your face reflected in my eyes is forever in my mind. You’re perfect in his eyes-my eyes.
"I really like you," he breathes out finally and your eyes have opened wide.
You part your mouth to speak but before your words come out; he leans in low and seals your lips together. My heart nearly stops beating. He is kissing you, but I can almost taste the light cream and strawberry in your breath when your eyes flutter close and your tiptoe to kiss him back. He holds you close to his tall frame and kisses you even more deeply and I can see you smiling.
It's a beautiful picture, but that isn't me. Those hands that brush over your warm skin and those lips that presses against yours, they aren't mine just like how you're not mine. I don't belong myself even.
Ryeowook-ah, what will you do once you tire of your doll?
* * *