You know what...the thought dawns on me that...
...when you die--long before he dies, more probably and so hopefully--the world will be one less of a jerkoff.
You see, I know I can be a raging cunt--to those who deserve it. You? You're just a terribly-demeanored hot-tempered cunt who could never truly laugh at himself (and the jokes you make towards others around you aren't witty nor clever, but are spiteful and mean [and that's the truly sad part--you would be a nice guy if you weren't such a spitefully mean, envious and selfish* douchebag]). You thought we were making fun of you. You always think the world is out to get you (whether you consciously think so or not), so instead of reacting like a normal human being, you react explosively. You do this offline, but the online community's also had a taste of what you're like. Woohoo, you're kind and bending over backwards to old people through your job. It wouldn't be the first time that an utter waste of flesh held a steady people-related job well on the outside and had a whole other side to them otherwise (wasn't John Wayne Gacy a children's party clown?).
Man, I'm sorry that your former psychotic hubby abused you like he did. I really am. But that's still no excuse to be a raging bitch whenever the mood strikes (that being, whenever things don't go your way). And if that's the way you were before you even married that psycho (as implied by you yourself), then your personality probably didn't help his psychotic issues...and that's sad, because one should never feel like it's okay to blame the victim, even if the victim had a part in facilitating abuse.
I wrote what I wrote because otherwise it would've gone unrealized because you've got him so wrapped up in this relationship of yours that he's lost all sight of what he used to be before your stinking ass was shoved into his face and vice versa (again, that's my one true regret in my entire life, and that's saying something). I wish I had never been a meddling asshole and I wish I had never pushed you two together, because it changed him from a lively, free-thinking, do-what-he-could-who-gives-a-fuck-I'm-fat-and-I'm-proud-gimme-that-pudding-non-corporate-artist to a mindless corporate drone of an abused housewife (mentally speaking). He does what you want to lessen the amount of explosive tantrums--anyone would, in that situation. You have him happily trapped, because he's too nice, too blind and too insecure of a guy to leave you. "Marrying" him helped you put a lock on that.
And I wrote what I wrote when I wrote it because I sure as Hell didn't want to expose Chelle to anymore of your bullshit. I didn't want to endanger her life or mine each time we got into your car with you and you got pissed off at something random and started driving like everyone on the road was in YOUR way. Thank you, asshole, for putting everyone in the car at risk because you were pissed off. I can only hope and pray that your Outer Asshole doesn't some day get him killed. Chelle doesn't like the shit that she's seen you pull either, so I speak for her when I write all of this.
I wish I could blame you wholly for the destruction of mine and his best friendship, but we all had a role in it. Mine was perhaps the biggest, seeing that I'm the one who got you two together. But yours was the second biggest role in it, seeing that you couldn't stand to see us keep the relationship that we had whenever you were around (or even not around). Thank you, BTW, for making his life a living Hell during that time when you were deep-down satisfied that you'd caused a schism between us with that lying/manipulation that near-year that we weren't talking. Don't think that I don't know what you did when that was happening. It "surprised" you when I found the bullshit you wrote in your alternate diary, so you're really not as smart and secretive as you think you are (pathetic). His role is...well, he knows what his role is and doesn't want to do anything about it/doesn't want to grow up, be a man and put his foot down on your shitty behavior. You've succeeded in convincing him that putting up with your shit is worth more to him than proactively being the best friend that he was to me before (funny how "bros before hos" only applies when you're not the ho), so congrats on that.
So you won. You won, after all of your little pissy tantrums, your bitchy comments, your manipulation--you won! Doesn't it feel great to win? Sure would make a mother proud to see the kind of big man her little girl's become.
One day he just might grow up as well. You best watch out for that, because grown ups don't put up with the kind of bullshit you dole out. They grow up out of innocent blind eyes and start to see things for what they really are, not for how you've painted over them to be. G-d help you when that happens.
*Selfish as in you sure didn't want to share his brotherly love with anyone but yourself, though if it was just a problem with me, then you're just a fucking asshole who didn't and refused to comprehend the kind of relationship we did have.
EDIT, JUNE, 2008: P.P.S. If you really think that your celebration matters in the grand scope of things, your ego (and guilt that seems to make you think about us in the first place) is much more bloated than originally thought. But hey, whatever makes you feel good, right? Felt sooooooo good to finally be rid of two of those pesky "friends" of Dean's that he would've--G-d forbid--had to take time out of your precious totalitarian rule over his life. But hey, thanks for scaring the Hell of out Chelle during the times when we did hang out, too. Really appreciate that. Big man you are.
Oh irony towards the people who come commenting here randomly and off-topically. I probably should've turned off comments, LOL.
EDIT, JULY 2011: Opening this post again because it's true and even more ironic, as the asshole that I addressed this to was incapable of keeping my ex-best-friend happily sheltered in a house of their own because he was too stupid about his loan and his job (as if we didn't see all of this coming). Yeah, they lost their jobs and their house and had to move away to Mommy's (dickwad in this posts's mommy, not Dean's).
...
You see, I know I can be a raging cunt--to those who deserve it. You? You're just a terribly-demeanored hot-tempered cunt who could never truly laugh at himself (and the jokes you make towards others around you aren't witty nor clever, but are spiteful and mean [and that's the truly sad part--you would be a nice guy if you weren't such a spitefully mean, envious and selfish* douchebag]). You thought we were making fun of you. You always think the world is out to get you (whether you consciously think so or not), so instead of reacting like a normal human being, you react explosively. You do this offline, but the online community's also had a taste of what you're like. Woohoo, you're kind and bending over backwards to old people through your job. It wouldn't be the first time that an utter waste of flesh held a steady people-related job well on the outside and had a whole other side to them otherwise (wasn't John Wayne Gacy a children's party clown?).
Man, I'm sorry that your former psychotic hubby abused you like he did. I really am. But that's still no excuse to be a raging bitch whenever the mood strikes (that being, whenever things don't go your way). And if that's the way you were before you even married that psycho (as implied by you yourself), then your personality probably didn't help his psychotic issues...and that's sad, because one should never feel like it's okay to blame the victim, even if the victim had a part in facilitating abuse.
I wrote what I wrote because otherwise it would've gone unrealized because you've got him so wrapped up in this relationship of yours that he's lost all sight of what he used to be before your stinking ass was shoved into his face and vice versa (again, that's my one true regret in my entire life, and that's saying something). I wish I had never been a meddling asshole and I wish I had never pushed you two together, because it changed him from a lively, free-thinking, do-what-he-could-who-gives-a-fuck-I'm-fat-and-I'm-proud-gimme-that-pudding-non-corporate-artist to a mindless corporate drone of an abused housewife (mentally speaking). He does what you want to lessen the amount of explosive tantrums--anyone would, in that situation. You have him happily trapped, because he's too nice, too blind and too insecure of a guy to leave you. "Marrying" him helped you put a lock on that.
And I wrote what I wrote when I wrote it because I sure as Hell didn't want to expose Chelle to anymore of your bullshit. I didn't want to endanger her life or mine each time we got into your car with you and you got pissed off at something random and started driving like everyone on the road was in YOUR way. Thank you, asshole, for putting everyone in the car at risk because you were pissed off. I can only hope and pray that your Outer Asshole doesn't some day get him killed. Chelle doesn't like the shit that she's seen you pull either, so I speak for her when I write all of this.
I wish I could blame you wholly for the destruction of mine and his best friendship, but we all had a role in it. Mine was perhaps the biggest, seeing that I'm the one who got you two together. But yours was the second biggest role in it, seeing that you couldn't stand to see us keep the relationship that we had whenever you were around (or even not around). Thank you, BTW, for making his life a living Hell during that time when you were deep-down satisfied that you'd caused a schism between us with that lying/manipulation that near-year that we weren't talking. Don't think that I don't know what you did when that was happening. It "surprised" you when I found the bullshit you wrote in your alternate diary, so you're really not as smart and secretive as you think you are (pathetic). His role is...well, he knows what his role is and doesn't want to do anything about it/doesn't want to grow up, be a man and put his foot down on your shitty behavior. You've succeeded in convincing him that putting up with your shit is worth more to him than proactively being the best friend that he was to me before (funny how "bros before hos" only applies when you're not the ho), so congrats on that.
So you won. You won, after all of your little pissy tantrums, your bitchy comments, your manipulation--you won! Doesn't it feel great to win? Sure would make a mother proud to see the kind of big man her little girl's become.
One day he just might grow up as well. You best watch out for that, because grown ups don't put up with the kind of bullshit you dole out. They grow up out of innocent blind eyes and start to see things for what they really are, not for how you've painted over them to be. G-d help you when that happens.
*Selfish as in you sure didn't want to share his brotherly love with anyone but yourself, though if it was just a problem with me, then you're just a fucking asshole who didn't and refused to comprehend the kind of relationship we did have.
EDIT, JUNE, 2008: P.P.S. If you really think that your celebration matters in the grand scope of things, your ego (and guilt that seems to make you think about us in the first place) is much more bloated than originally thought. But hey, whatever makes you feel good, right? Felt sooooooo good to finally be rid of two of those pesky "friends" of Dean's that he would've--G-d forbid--had to take time out of your precious totalitarian rule over his life. But hey, thanks for scaring the Hell of out Chelle during the times when we did hang out, too. Really appreciate that. Big man you are.
Oh irony towards the people who come commenting here randomly and off-topically. I probably should've turned off comments, LOL.
EDIT, JULY 2011: Opening this post again because it's true and even more ironic, as the asshole that I addressed this to was incapable of keeping my ex-best-friend happily sheltered in a house of their own because he was too stupid about his loan and his job (as if we didn't see all of this coming). Yeah, they lost their jobs and their house and had to move away to Mommy's (dickwad in this posts's mommy, not Dean's).
...