This semester
This semester is slowly and thoroughly convincing me that not only do I lack the drive and insight to be a successful writer, but the likelihood that I possess no other qualities of note or use is quite high.
Story a bust. General mood quite low.
I enjoy the camaraderie of my writing classes, especially this one, but I feel they're ultimately another way in which I siphon time. I think my decision (if one can call half-decision-half-unpreparedness a decision) to forgo CRW classes next semester and focus on constructive things was a good one. I think I will probably feel sad next semester, but on the flip side I may use the credits to learn skills that I don't have rather than hit-or-miss polishing of the ragged ones I already possess, which need time and experience more than they do outside input.
I'm thinking of taking some classes extremely outside my field--like web design or anatomy. Things that touch on other avenues I've considered.
There's really no way for parents to win. If they try to guide their child the child feels oppressed and forced, and if they give them free reign the child wastes their time and wanders half-fruitlessly. Is no purpose better than a purpose someone else chose? I'm undecided. My poor mother somehow became possessed of the notion that I'm incredibly talented and bound for success someday. In what, I don't think she knows.
I know this is just a low point. I'm healthy and well-adjusted and my only real problem is having enough in life that I have the time and energy to feel unfulfilled. I'm truly a lazy and unproductive person, and evolutionarily of uncertain merit.
I'm waiting for this semester to be over. I'm going to turn things around.
Story a bust. General mood quite low.
I enjoy the camaraderie of my writing classes, especially this one, but I feel they're ultimately another way in which I siphon time. I think my decision (if one can call half-decision-half-unpreparedness a decision) to forgo CRW classes next semester and focus on constructive things was a good one. I think I will probably feel sad next semester, but on the flip side I may use the credits to learn skills that I don't have rather than hit-or-miss polishing of the ragged ones I already possess, which need time and experience more than they do outside input.
I'm thinking of taking some classes extremely outside my field--like web design or anatomy. Things that touch on other avenues I've considered.
There's really no way for parents to win. If they try to guide their child the child feels oppressed and forced, and if they give them free reign the child wastes their time and wanders half-fruitlessly. Is no purpose better than a purpose someone else chose? I'm undecided. My poor mother somehow became possessed of the notion that I'm incredibly talented and bound for success someday. In what, I don't think she knows.
I know this is just a low point. I'm healthy and well-adjusted and my only real problem is having enough in life that I have the time and energy to feel unfulfilled. I'm truly a lazy and unproductive person, and evolutionarily of uncertain merit.
I'm waiting for this semester to be over. I'm going to turn things around.