Spy vs. Spy
So. It is summer in New Zealand and I am sitting at home with my leg in a cast when I could be frolicking at the beach with seagulls and screaming children. In lieu of achieving anything significant, I have been lounging on the couch for the last little while repairing the ripped seams in the lining of my all-purpose multi-pocket jacket of joy.
It occurs to me that rather than stitching up the gaping seam at the left-hand side of the lining, I should have inserted a pouch and a zip, or some other cunning fastening, so that I could have more pockets. While the seams were open I continually managed to have pens and other oddments tumble into the lining. I think I will miss having a giant hidden pocket.
If I had been thinking when I did the stitching, then at this very moment my all-purpose multi-pocket jacket of joy could be a SUPER SEKRIT SPY COAT. I could keep things in the hidden pocket like: electronic listening devices to plant in my enemies' offices, a knife that's actually a handgun (honest-to-god, the most awesome spam email I ever received was some company trying to sell me a six-bullet knife), a passport under a false name in case I need to flee to China or Ireland at a moment's notice, and a piece of BUBBLEGUM just because bubblegum is tasty.
I actually have gum in one of the regular pockets, but it is chewing gum instead of bubblegum, and thus cannot be inflated into a giant balloon to which I could attach messages if I am ever trapped at the bottom of a well on a Sekrit Spy Mission. I will stand at the bottom of the well and beat my breast and tear at my hair[1], and maybe rub sackcloth and ashes into my skin[2], and bewail my lack of foresight in simply stitching up the lining and neglecting a Sekrit Spy Pocket!
[1] What's left of my hair after this morning's hatchet-job, and ooh, maybe that makes me an assassin instead of a spy.
[2] Or something.
It occurs to me that rather than stitching up the gaping seam at the left-hand side of the lining, I should have inserted a pouch and a zip, or some other cunning fastening, so that I could have more pockets. While the seams were open I continually managed to have pens and other oddments tumble into the lining. I think I will miss having a giant hidden pocket.
If I had been thinking when I did the stitching, then at this very moment my all-purpose multi-pocket jacket of joy could be a SUPER SEKRIT SPY COAT. I could keep things in the hidden pocket like: electronic listening devices to plant in my enemies' offices, a knife that's actually a handgun (honest-to-god, the most awesome spam email I ever received was some company trying to sell me a six-bullet knife), a passport under a false name in case I need to flee to China or Ireland at a moment's notice, and a piece of BUBBLEGUM just because bubblegum is tasty.
I actually have gum in one of the regular pockets, but it is chewing gum instead of bubblegum, and thus cannot be inflated into a giant balloon to which I could attach messages if I am ever trapped at the bottom of a well on a Sekrit Spy Mission. I will stand at the bottom of the well and beat my breast and tear at my hair[1], and maybe rub sackcloth and ashes into my skin[2], and bewail my lack of foresight in simply stitching up the lining and neglecting a Sekrit Spy Pocket!
[1] What's left of my hair after this morning's hatchet-job, and ooh, maybe that makes me an assassin instead of a spy.
[2] Or something.