feeling like.....
....the person i used to be. theres something waisting in me and i dont no what it is, but i feel it leaving me, something good, and like a broken cup , its pouring away from me.creating this empty void i took so long to fill, and now once again it haunts me no matter what. where it continues to come from i just dont understand, but whether i'm supposed to or not , it'll be there when i dont want it to be, just when things were starting to work. It'll bother me till i fix it. and i think i no what i can do to make it better, but in order to do it, that would mean the lost of somethings, and thats something i never want. but since when has my life been about whatever i've wanted, its never going to be whatever i want and last. like no control over life, just throws you around back and fourth spontaniously, so u can never catch on to the edges of support. and thats no matter what you do to straighten it out, you get the greatest job of your life, and a family member dies, no matter what u do to make life great, it'll kick back when ever it desires, leaving you to startover. somepeople like the spontaniousness about life, but i think its becuase things are going great at the moment in which they are living, dont get me wrong i do to and for the same reasons, but its when things go wrong do you begin to question the things that could be cared less about and usually tooken for granted. I dunno , i guess this is just something that i cant explain, oh well, i guess this is just another blert of nothing.