things to come
ok, so it's my birthday. now what?
20 years this world has had to put up with me, and things arent going to change. i always thought that i'd make this world a better place. or at least the small one around me. i keep to myself, but i affect so many. i wish i had many lifetimes to put into just one thought. just to think, you know? i do that. alot. i pace and imagine things. it's great. keeps me sane, i guess. my mother always told me i'm the strongest person she knows. i've delt with alot. i know i'll deal with more. i really dont care. just as long as i get where i'm going.. or want to go. i dont like obstructions, i avoid them if possible, but i expect them. which i guess helps me avoid them. i'm one step ahead the game. this show "dead like me" has really got me thinking about life. i dont want to look back and wish i had done something different. i rarely do, as it is. i live MY life. i'd change some small things, of course. but i think our experiences shape us into who we are, who we become. i'm happy. so why change? i mean.. if i could go back and invest in some stocks or get the winning lotto ticket, that'd be cool. but that's not what i'm really talking about, and i think you knew that. i think when i die, i would like to explore. whatever there is to explore. if there is a heaven, i dont know if i'd like to live there. it'd be, like, a vacation home. and, you know, if there is nothing after death... i'm ready for that, too. i really dont care. it'd be nice, though- to have something to look forward to. i always thought half the fun is getting to where you're going anyway. like, learning for yourself.. it's not as fun to just be given the answers to anything. it's a challenge, and you feel good after overcomming it. and it's nothing to do with ego. i remember reading a while back in my science journals that while learning fun facts, the brain undergoes drug-like states. high on education! hah. it can also be an addiction. isnt that a fun fact? huh huh huh. where was i heading? oh, yeah... life is waiting for you. it's all messed up, but we're alive. i think that's the right lyric... oh, well. they had weird songs anyway. still, they were good. good and CANADIAN!!!! BWUAHAHA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!!
20 years this world has had to put up with me, and things arent going to change. i always thought that i'd make this world a better place. or at least the small one around me. i keep to myself, but i affect so many. i wish i had many lifetimes to put into just one thought. just to think, you know? i do that. alot. i pace and imagine things. it's great. keeps me sane, i guess. my mother always told me i'm the strongest person she knows. i've delt with alot. i know i'll deal with more. i really dont care. just as long as i get where i'm going.. or want to go. i dont like obstructions, i avoid them if possible, but i expect them. which i guess helps me avoid them. i'm one step ahead the game. this show "dead like me" has really got me thinking about life. i dont want to look back and wish i had done something different. i rarely do, as it is. i live MY life. i'd change some small things, of course. but i think our experiences shape us into who we are, who we become. i'm happy. so why change? i mean.. if i could go back and invest in some stocks or get the winning lotto ticket, that'd be cool. but that's not what i'm really talking about, and i think you knew that. i think when i die, i would like to explore. whatever there is to explore. if there is a heaven, i dont know if i'd like to live there. it'd be, like, a vacation home. and, you know, if there is nothing after death... i'm ready for that, too. i really dont care. it'd be nice, though- to have something to look forward to. i always thought half the fun is getting to where you're going anyway. like, learning for yourself.. it's not as fun to just be given the answers to anything. it's a challenge, and you feel good after overcomming it. and it's nothing to do with ego. i remember reading a while back in my science journals that while learning fun facts, the brain undergoes drug-like states. high on education! hah. it can also be an addiction. isnt that a fun fact? huh huh huh. where was i heading? oh, yeah... life is waiting for you. it's all messed up, but we're alive. i think that's the right lyric... oh, well. they had weird songs anyway. still, they were good. good and CANADIAN!!!! BWUAHAHA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!!