sick of it!
i honestly have never been this pissed off before. im sorry guys..and im not talking about all of you, but im sick of my friends. i can never be good enough for them and id wish theyd grow the heck up. most people think my mood is just simple PMS, but thats not it. im sick of having to try and explain myself, and try to make everyone else happy. im sick of guys that want to flirt in immature ways. im sick of living here, and being who i am. im sick of being fucking sick of things!
my house phone has been disconnected for awhile, and if its not, its all staticie. and since im feeling this way about life, i need to talk to erin. so im always on my cell with her. and my dad is starting to yell at me anytime my gosh damn phone rings, and he wont let me answer it. he says i dont need to be on the phone constantly. although TJ can be on his cell as long as he wants! i mean, come on how unfair is that.
my parents are ALWAYS treating him like the favorite. he never does any chores, he can go wherever, do whatever he feels like. just because hes "special" he gets everything while im expected to be perfect. my room always has to be clean and organized while his has things growing in it ((although he has no room right now...you get the idea)) but...i dont know its weird.
things ive been doing lately are scaring me too.
im constantly tired, and constantly hungry. im trying so hard to stick to my diet, but its hard when your as hungry as me.
then any little thing that happens makes me cry. i dont get it. like, if my mom yells at me to wash the dishes, i cry. its insane.
anything like this ever happen to any one??
and i dont like doing the things that used to make me so happy. i dont like going to the movies, i dont like being with people, i dont like going to confirmation, i dont like being on AIM or listening to music. the only thing that i like...even more than normal...is gymnastics. and its the only thing that makes me temporarily happy. which is only once a week, and then i dont have it for awhile during spring break.
also, im scared. that im going to die alone. i dont like anyone at our school that i can have. and i dont want to have sex with anyone...so that narrows it down a lot. so im prolly going to be single until my sophmore year, and then...whose there to turn to? who the hell would want to go out with me? i mean comeon, seriously
whatever, sorry for my bitching...
my house phone has been disconnected for awhile, and if its not, its all staticie. and since im feeling this way about life, i need to talk to erin. so im always on my cell with her. and my dad is starting to yell at me anytime my gosh damn phone rings, and he wont let me answer it. he says i dont need to be on the phone constantly. although TJ can be on his cell as long as he wants! i mean, come on how unfair is that.
my parents are ALWAYS treating him like the favorite. he never does any chores, he can go wherever, do whatever he feels like. just because hes "special" he gets everything while im expected to be perfect. my room always has to be clean and organized while his has things growing in it ((although he has no room right now...you get the idea)) but...i dont know its weird.
things ive been doing lately are scaring me too.
im constantly tired, and constantly hungry. im trying so hard to stick to my diet, but its hard when your as hungry as me.
then any little thing that happens makes me cry. i dont get it. like, if my mom yells at me to wash the dishes, i cry. its insane.
anything like this ever happen to any one??
and i dont like doing the things that used to make me so happy. i dont like going to the movies, i dont like being with people, i dont like going to confirmation, i dont like being on AIM or listening to music. the only thing that i like...even more than normal...is gymnastics. and its the only thing that makes me temporarily happy. which is only once a week, and then i dont have it for awhile during spring break.
also, im scared. that im going to die alone. i dont like anyone at our school that i can have. and i dont want to have sex with anyone...so that narrows it down a lot. so im prolly going to be single until my sophmore year, and then...whose there to turn to? who the hell would want to go out with me? i mean comeon, seriously
whatever, sorry for my bitching...