(no subject)
Kofi Annan
Secretary-General
United Nations
September 7, 2005
THE DANGEROUS FELINE FELON WHO GOES BY THE NAME "THE CHAIRMAN MEOW" HAS ESCAPED WHILE AWAITING TRIAL FOR CRIMES AGAINST RODENTARY AT THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT IN THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS. *PLEASE APPROACH WITH CAUTION* AS THE CHAIRMAN IS PAWED AND DANGEROUS. ALIASES INCLUDE "THE ID KID", "MISTER HANDSOME BOY", AND "DARTH HANDSOME BOY". IF THE CHAIRMAN APPROACHES YOU, *PLEASE DO NOT DISSENT* NO MATTER WHAT HE MIGHT SAY ABOUT "LETTING A HUNDRED FLOWERS BLOOM". FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATELY FEED HIM SOME CATNIP, PROVIDE FULL ACCESS TO ALL YOUR RODENTS (MICE, CHIPMUNKS, SQUIRRELS) AND HAND THEM OVER PERSONALLY TO ME HIM. OH SHIT I FUCKED UP, DIDN'T I?
You heard what the man said! GIVE ME YOUR RODENTS!
And no dissenting!