Summer is here.
I feel so left out, of everything.
I'm confident in my decision to graduate and I was when I did back in January, but when Jack visited me at work today with Brendan and Nick and Allie Lindgren.. I don't know. Something hit me that keeps hitting me since I left school and its upsetting, but I'm not sure what it is exactly.
I never felt like I was a big part of anybody's life.
Except Kurt and Jack.
And I feel that way so much right now.
I might as well have fallen off the face of the Earth.
No one calls me, no one cares that I'm up right now or that I just took my finals or that Saturday night I'm working and can't go out. I'm completely unimportant. When someone makes me feel like what I do actually matters its really touching and I remember it. But that happens so rarely. I don't know. I just want to be included, which is strange because all I wanted to do in the beginning of January was get away from everything highschool. I need to reconnect somehow but who cares? Its summer and everyone is leaving soon, so why bother? My yearbook will look better without tons of writing all over it anyway.
I just don't get why when I call people and leave messages they don't call me back ever. And when people are bored they don't call me because I'm always around. I'm pretty sure highschool forgot about me. That's alright, because I'm invisible to the people I work with except if I make a mistake and my parents don't notice when I leave until 2 hours later.
I would say that I don't need friends and I'm fine, but I do and I'm not.
I'm definitely not okay with this and no amount of shopping will fix it. I will not spend this summer like I spent the past five months, working and seeing almost no one besides my boyfriend and my best friend. I need more than that, and I'm not sorry.
Fuck.
I'm confident in my decision to graduate and I was when I did back in January, but when Jack visited me at work today with Brendan and Nick and Allie Lindgren.. I don't know. Something hit me that keeps hitting me since I left school and its upsetting, but I'm not sure what it is exactly.
I never felt like I was a big part of anybody's life.
Except Kurt and Jack.
And I feel that way so much right now.
I might as well have fallen off the face of the Earth.
No one calls me, no one cares that I'm up right now or that I just took my finals or that Saturday night I'm working and can't go out. I'm completely unimportant. When someone makes me feel like what I do actually matters its really touching and I remember it. But that happens so rarely. I don't know. I just want to be included, which is strange because all I wanted to do in the beginning of January was get away from everything highschool. I need to reconnect somehow but who cares? Its summer and everyone is leaving soon, so why bother? My yearbook will look better without tons of writing all over it anyway.
I just don't get why when I call people and leave messages they don't call me back ever. And when people are bored they don't call me because I'm always around. I'm pretty sure highschool forgot about me. That's alright, because I'm invisible to the people I work with except if I make a mistake and my parents don't notice when I leave until 2 hours later.
I would say that I don't need friends and I'm fine, but I do and I'm not.
I'm definitely not okay with this and no amount of shopping will fix it. I will not spend this summer like I spent the past five months, working and seeing almost no one besides my boyfriend and my best friend. I need more than that, and I'm not sorry.
Fuck.