(no subject)
The woods are getting darker.
Nothing is perfect. You never get it done. Perfection means Stagnation and an ending to the ever expanding form, much bigger than lil’ tiny human brain and ego self.
So then what's the point, if I'll never be whole? I'm stuck i'm stuck i'm stuck. I get really fucking close to quitting. Let my ego take over. Go on autopilot. Fall into the diversions of American culture. I don't know how to reach people. Sometimes I don't even feel right with Katie. I feel bogged down. But that's just my ego thought forms. And yet, I give in to their farcical ways!@# I see happiness in Adam and that's about the biggest thing that gives me strength right now. I hope I'm not feeding off of it. I tend to selfishly do that.
Just three/four days ago I was feeling secure. I felt egoless. Fuck, it's like I'm bi-polar. My dreams are spinning out of control, I get thrown into plots I don't understand and come into conflict with lots of people and animals. Two nights ago I walked in on Katie blowing some dude's john. Obviously, I'm insecure up the wazoo right now.
Losing focus on the moment to moment to moment. Having trouble yielding my will to the Will of the Nameless Void.
Nothing is perfect. You never get it done. Perfection means Stagnation and an ending to the ever expanding form, much bigger than lil’ tiny human brain and ego self.
So then what's the point, if I'll never be whole? I'm stuck i'm stuck i'm stuck. I get really fucking close to quitting. Let my ego take over. Go on autopilot. Fall into the diversions of American culture. I don't know how to reach people. Sometimes I don't even feel right with Katie. I feel bogged down. But that's just my ego thought forms. And yet, I give in to their farcical ways!@# I see happiness in Adam and that's about the biggest thing that gives me strength right now. I hope I'm not feeding off of it. I tend to selfishly do that.
Just three/four days ago I was feeling secure. I felt egoless. Fuck, it's like I'm bi-polar. My dreams are spinning out of control, I get thrown into plots I don't understand and come into conflict with lots of people and animals. Two nights ago I walked in on Katie blowing some dude's john. Obviously, I'm insecure up the wazoo right now.
Losing focus on the moment to moment to moment. Having trouble yielding my will to the Will of the Nameless Void.