I am going to sleep well tonight~!~!
Today, after struggling with one of my usual migranes (the ones that decide that Caro's going to spend half the day in bed) and FINALLY giving in and taking an Advil liquid gel (thank God it wasn't a SUPER MOTRIN PAIN KILLER NEEDED migrane, those pills are expensive!) I met an old friend for coffee at Starbucks on Elgin St.
As much as I would have enjoyed staying in bed and trying to sleep the pain off, alas, we had a showing in the evening, and I was kicked out of the house to a) ensure that the viewers wouldnt be subjected to a sleeping teenage girl in the house they were viewing, and b) to ensure that I don't make a mess, as walking around with a migrane I tend to bump into things and stuff falls/crashes/sticks to me/disapeers etc.
So after coffee and drugs I dragged my ass to Body Combat, a class I used to adore until I discovered Step. The little crazy Chinese lady (by little I mean she is shorter than me, ie 5'0) was teaching again, and it was super fun! Nothing like pretending to beat the shit out of someone to chase away the blues, although according to my psyc prof thats not a good way to deal with anger, as you tend to do what you did last time you were angry, and that's assault on my part, even though my hands and feet are considered to be only 5/8s of a deadly weapon...
Anyways, I come home feeling much better than when I left. OH I saw one of my, wait actually 2 of my sisters going into Get On The Ball after Combat! Vicky and Vanessa, both alum, who joined some time last month! AND Catherine got the call from Goodlife, and we might do Body Flow tomorrow together after my Step/Works combo... we'll see how dead I am :)
I've realized (well I've known this for a while but I thought Id share this with you) that for me, the gym is the BEST place to de-stress and escape. I know lots of people whose methods of de-stressing involve a big tub of ice cream and stupid movies, and that's fun b/c I do that LOTS except with pizza or McDonalds, and lots of people whose methods of de-stressing involve getting completely and utterly trashed, and while drinking some IS fun, getting trashed and vomitting isn't... also that much alcohol and your transportation home (if you can't walk) costs so much $$$$, and you're just going to excrete it one way or another... OH and lots of people including myself (and I really shouldnt) who go shopping to de-stress, although lately that is just adding to my stress level.... but exciting to see how I no longer hate my legs!
So, in short, while some people say "UGH I'm SO stressed... I'm gonna/let's SHOP/EAT/DRINK til I HAVE MY STOMACH PUMPED!" I'm gonna have to stick with (sigh... because I LOVE shopping) "UGH I'm SO stressed... I'm gonna go to the gym and do Step/Works/Combat/Ball/New Body/Pump until I give myself a heart attack!"
I've also realized something (thanks to you guys plus some of my sisters and old friends). You guys have said some of the sweetest things about me, the MOST sweet being (and Amy can attest to this, thank you Amy) that I AM the proverbial 'Ms. Perfect' in referece to Alistair's "excuse" for ending our relationship. 'Cause, you know, I've been trying and trying to find that one disgusting fault that caused him to be revolted by me and pushed him away from me.... and so far I've come up with my innate stubborness (although I WILL conceide if you make a good argument or I have absolutely NO knowledge about what you're talking about), my addiction to coffee, the fact that I am always late, my height, my addiction to shopping, I'm kinda clingy I guess in the sense that if I'm in a room full of your friends that I don't know I'd really REALLY like it if you stuck by me until my shyness is overcome or I crawl under a chair, the fact that I'm not always healthy (ie migranes, anemia, hypoglycemia, spine strain, bum ankle), I sometimes forget to eat until I'm hungry, I eat too much McDonalds, I'm not good with money when I'm around a shopping mall, umm.... I'm lascivious when in love... oh and that I'm not COMMIE smart...
And, not like anyone notices stuff like this, I've changed my LJ title to "In Pursuit of Perfection" as a coping method. Since Alistair's coping method was "Become the total opposite of who I was before thus a new person with new everything (FUCK)", and although it is very effective, I don't want to become a completely new person, since so many of you guys seem to like the person I am and if I became my exact opposite I'd, well, I'd be my cousin... and really, so do I. I'm a good person with lot's to offer, and undoubtly, if I stay on this track to perfection, I'll become an even better person. I know that I'll never be perfect, that's impossible, or maybe when I'm dead. But yeah, and just to clarify that I haven't gone completely insane, this perfection is my OWN personal opinion of perfection, which btw is still a work in progress. I am completely open to suggestions on how to improve. So far I've
- re-acquainted myself with Goodlife
- quit some VERY bad habits of mine
- cut back on my sugar intake in my coffee (double-double at Tims and 3 at Moca Loca)
- cut back on my McDonalds intake to Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday
- added TONS of books to my "already read and love" list BEYOND Shopaholic :)
- semi-defeated personal demons regarding Biology (at least 1109.... 1110 I have another shot!)
- decided what I want to do in life and chose a very noble/honourable profession with the intention of being a RN & CPT and eventually MD
- finally decided to get braces for my damn k-9 tooth; I'll be 21 when they're taken off! Woo!
- gotten used to wearing sunblock April - October around the areas where my ezcema was/is/remains and where the 1% hydrocortisone wrecked havoc... ugh, this is SO one of those "the cure is worse than the disease" things on a much lower scale
- worked on my lack of patience when tired or not full of coffee
- kept my temper in check with deep breaths and 3 hour gym sessions
- stopped throwing hissy fits at all this Atkins CRAP! ( the really EXTREME verisons of Atkins... people who are mild to moderate have it right and therefore are in no danger to themselves)
- become a REALLY big Biology nerd
- prevented myself from becoming a stereotypical sorority girl
- umm... smiled more often?
Ya I got nothing... so any more suggestions would be GREAT!
Anyhoo, enough rambling from me. Be sure to check out my x-post in 613crew and OttawaForSale about my clothing!