(no subject)
I did it! I went to SCA practice! It was a barbecue and there was no fencing today, but that was almost better. I had a chance to interact with a whole bunch of people socially and renew some old ties. In a word, it was great. Everything just came rushing back, especially everything I loved about SCA. I didn't have much interaction with tristan, but when I first arrived he said "we thought you were dead" jokingly, and invited me to sit down at the picnic table they were at. I have a feeling I won't become particularly close with tristan, but there are so many other cool people there who I really enjoyed. It was really surreal having stuff which had been buried so deep come rushing back so suddenly. In some ways it was pretty obvious that 4 years had passed: Tristan and Arcadia are married, Arcadia's a Dona, so is tatiana. Logan's graduated from college, as are pretty much everyone who was a student when I was there before. Also, they noted how much I'd changed, remebering how I'd been learning how to drive, and now I have my own car. how I'm a junior in college when I used to be in junior high. However, in some ways things were the same. they were the same sorts of people, having the same sorts of conversations and pursuing the same sorts of interests. They are definitely my type of people, which felt great. It felt like I was returning home in many ways. I felt absolutely no coldness or resentment toward me like I was afraid of. Even tristan seemed, I'd best describe as Neutral. I heard a few people say enthusiatically "oh i think I heard a story about you!" or something. No feeling of a black sheep at all. I think now I can finally be at peace with this part of my life, and when I do leave it again, I will leave it on a positive note. The mass of the weight that has been removed from my shoulders feels huge. I feel at ease now, with the hidden fire that had been smoldering in my gut finally quenched. Ahhhh!
Huzzah!
Huzzah!