(no subject)
I FINALLY DID IT. I filed a no contact order against my dad. Somehow this morning the fucker got my email address. No idea how, although I guess so much Googling would turn it up. What a pathetic creep. Anyway, I've had a very stressful shitty day. I should feel relieved and elated, but mostly I just feel exhausted and guilty and sort of cheap. I wish this wasn't happening to me. I wish none of it ever did. I hope this works. Part of me is going through major denial about what happened and calling me a liar or that it didn't happen or that its not a big deal and not abuse. And I fucking hate it. Hate it hate it hate it want it all to stop and go away. I feel horribly guilty yet vindicated about my actions. I really hope this works and doesn't make things worse. I hope he gets the message FUCKING FINALLY.