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An aim convo gone a wry with the lovely pollinia it's a ficlet almost!
YAMAMOTO/GOKUDERA and kinda GOKUDERA/YAMAMOTO too.
rating is R for talk of porn, boys making out. Oh did I mention rampant homophobia? It's awesome.
Unbeta'd cause geez. It's just an aim conversation. OCDness is for real fics.
After their jerkoff-fest Gokudera is splayed across Yamamoto and he's pondering WHAT. THE FUCK. JUST HAPPENED. Everything was a blur. Yamamoto came on to him- and- and-
"I hope your dick falls off."
"ahaha I wouldn't want yours to fall off."
"..." Gokudera wonders seriously what he's insinuating. He rolls off, "you're such a homo."
"haha, that is a pretty good description of what just happened, huh?"
Gokudera is wondering if sex makes him dumber or Yamamoto smarter, because what the hell he's at a loss for words. For another unpleasant moment he wonders what they have between them. Unrequited bromance runamuck? Pederastry?? Adolecent escapades of sexual nature fuel by hormonal curiousity????
Or flaming gayfaggothomo funtimes.
Oh dear lord he'd be lumped in the same cataegory as Lussuria.
Yamamoto doesn't know why Gokudera looks so freaked out right now. It was fun, right? They probably wouldn’t do it again because Gokudera was a funny guy like that, but it wasn’t a big deal or anything.
And. Gokudera comes to a meaningful conclusion: "This. thing. was mutual mastrubation between MEN. Okay? Devoidddd of gooey emotions and" he represses the urge to gag as he rolls that four lettered word around in his mouth before gritting it out, "LOVE. So don't get any dumbass ideas." He stabs his index finger to Yamamoto's chest with every word."I'm not your boyfriend and I sure as hell am NOT your girlfriend. This is purely an activity between single, young males to release repressed sexual urges.
GOT IT?"
"Haha, okay, okay!" Yamamoto holds up his hands in defense--no threat, okay, nothing to hide--and the fierce look on Gokudera's face makes him scootch over a little. Minutes earlier, they'd been pressed onto each other like sweaty summer clothes, but clearly Gokudera's Safe Zone had just ballooned out.
But the idea of being...what boyfriends? Is that what he called it? That hadn't even crossed his mind. He didn't like to name things if he didn't have to. He didn't want to wonder about why Gokudera had jumped to that conclusion so quickly. "Whatever you say, all right?"
"And to further reiterate my point I am going to snog the living daylights out of you. And we are going stay professionally impartial and feel NOTHING. If you do you're a fag. A homo. A fairy. A gaylord. AN ASS. PIRATE.
Yamamoto. Do you understand?"
"Um... we're re-establishing our masculinity and heterosexuality by making out?"
"Correct." Gokudera straddles the taller boy in all genuine seriousness he continues, "Are you prepared to close your eyes and think of England?"
"...not baseball?" Gokudera gives him that look he usually gives him before smacking him upside the head. "Okay, England!"
"Whatever you say." So...where does a not-boyfriend rest his hands when his not-boyfriend is sitting on his hips ready to make out with him until he's senseless?
Gokudera leans in so close his lips brush agains Yamamoto's with every hissy word he speaks, "And you better not hold back asshole. Who ever melts and goes all blushy and shit like a girl. They. Lose. The. Game. They. Fail. At life, at being a man, at EVERYTHING."
Oh, okay. That he can understand. Yamamoto doesn't like to lose. One quick sharp bite to Gokudera's bottom lip and he shoves his tongue inside. Hands on his hips, jerking Gokudera down hard against him, holding him in place.
Instantly Gokudera's forearms are against his chest, minimal skin contact is a must or it'd be- awkward. Inappropriate. Weird.
He sucks hard on Yamamoto's tongue and tilts his head to get a better angle. He breathes out low and harsh and makes sure to freeze his vocal chords lest some embarrasing noise escapes from him. A guy's gotta breathe okay. Regular oxygen intake is imperative to kissing and proving heterosexuality. That's all.
Mouths open wide agains each other like they're yelling. Breath getting faster like they're catapulting into a fight. Fingers tight on skin-clothes-hair--awkward--it's easier this way. Easier to keep things in perspective here. Easier, really, because Gokudera is almost complacent like this. Hand up his shirt? A buck of his hips in return. Another hand tight in the back pocket of his jeans? An intake of breath fast over Yamamoto's tongue that makes him grin. Fingers drifting over Gokudera's jaw, gently? --A glint of eyes like steel, like spark--Okay, bad move.
Gokudera breaks contact immediately. He's flushing (NOT blushing). Breathing hard, panting almost but no one needs to know that damnit damnit damnit. He speaks low, soft, "What are you thinking about now?"
"That you stopped." And he drags his teeth over Gokudera's adam's apple because that look on his face is...uncomfortable. Or something.
He rolls his eyes and tries not to groan, "Anything else?"
"Haha, for not taking this seriously you're being pretty serious!"
Gokudera's hand is a blur and he smacks the side of Yamamoto's head, "ENGLAND. The answer is ENGLAND YOU UTTER FOOL."
"Oh. Right." And he might not be smart like Gokudera is, but he's had enough swordfights at this point to admire his quick footwork around that one.
"England," he repeats, and starts to unbutton Gokudera's shirt.
Gokudera doesn't move to stop him, "So: what about England?" There is a dangerous, testing glint in his eye.
"Um..." Crap. Shoulda paid attention in class instead of doodling little stick men in his notes. "...tea?" He doesn't like tests.
Gokudera would have double taked if he wasn't staring hard into Yamamoto's face. "That's pretty... sophisticated. For you."
"Haha, I made it u--I like tea!"
Gokudera's face turns to horror as something incredibly unrelated dawns on him like armageddon "... you're not thinking about teabagging are you?"
"What? No. I don't like it in bags! I just get it all loose in a can, right?"
He gets a looong, hard stare in the eyes for that. Like the other boy's got infared lasers shooting from his pupils and he's scanning Yamamoto's brain for the ultimate truth.
He passes. Just barely.
"So umm-what are you thinking about?" And so the tables turn.
Gokudera answers, as fast as a whip, "England."
"What about England?"
"Their football team's shit. Italy rules."
Something pings in the back of Yamamoto's head Their men's football team? And he can see that. He doesn't really watch football much but it's not like he doesn't catch it on TV every now and then. He thinks that if he was watching them like that--like Gokudera probably does--he would think they were too bulky. But maybe Gokudera likes that sort of thing? His thoughts are interrupted by a growl and a bite to his ear, "Too much talking. Not enough kissing... or are you starting to feel gay or something?"
"...kissing would be less gay?"
His earlobe's getting gently mouthed, it tickles and burns pleasantly. "Yes. It would." Gokudera slides a hand up Yamamoto's shirt, he can feel every bump and plane of his abdomen as he goes up, up and up, "If you don't feel anything- you know. Whoosy and fluffy. Then it's not gay. If you're not feeling gay then we're continuing." He thumbs a nipple, "I'm not feeling gay." thumbs it again, "not. gay. at all."
Yamamoto wants to ask for a definition of gay, in this context, but then Gokudera's thumb rasps over his sensitive skin and a gasp morphs into a "Me neither."
It took the rest of the afternoon for Gokudera to deem them both as "a billion precent straight" and that they were "successful in reaffirming their heterosexuality by thinking of England (God save the Queen)". Yamamoto was glad. He was also very glad when Gokudera demanded they do this once a week on a regular basis. For he said it was important to monitor their heterosexuality through rigorous field testing and experimentation.
For they must be ever vigilant.
And Yamamoto agreed. And in the back of his mind made a mental note to wiki everything imaginable on England, lest he run out of material. He didn't want to make Gokudera think he was homo or all the testing would stop. And not only would it make him homosexual. but a lonely homosexual.
For the sake of his heterosexuality he would become an expert on football and tea and fog and saying 'mate' in a totally not homo way. And he would learn about doubledecker busses, and sexual positions would TOTALLY not come to mind. Ditto for all those little nooks and crannies in the London Underground.
*~*~*~*~*~~~~*****~~~*~*~*~~THE END~~*~*~*~*~*~~~****~~~*~*~*~*
YAMAMOTO/GOKUDERA and kinda GOKUDERA/YAMAMOTO too.
rating is R for talk of porn, boys making out. Oh did I mention rampant homophobia? It's awesome.
Unbeta'd cause geez. It's just an aim conversation. OCDness is for real fics.
After their jerkoff-fest Gokudera is splayed across Yamamoto and he's pondering WHAT. THE FUCK. JUST HAPPENED. Everything was a blur. Yamamoto came on to him- and- and-
"I hope your dick falls off."
"ahaha I wouldn't want yours to fall off."
"..." Gokudera wonders seriously what he's insinuating. He rolls off, "you're such a homo."
"haha, that is a pretty good description of what just happened, huh?"
Gokudera is wondering if sex makes him dumber or Yamamoto smarter, because what the hell he's at a loss for words. For another unpleasant moment he wonders what they have between them. Unrequited bromance runamuck? Pederastry?? Adolecent escapades of sexual nature fuel by hormonal curiousity????
Or flaming gayfaggothomo funtimes.
Oh dear lord he'd be lumped in the same cataegory as Lussuria.
Yamamoto doesn't know why Gokudera looks so freaked out right now. It was fun, right? They probably wouldn’t do it again because Gokudera was a funny guy like that, but it wasn’t a big deal or anything.
And. Gokudera comes to a meaningful conclusion: "This. thing. was mutual mastrubation between MEN. Okay? Devoidddd of gooey emotions and" he represses the urge to gag as he rolls that four lettered word around in his mouth before gritting it out, "LOVE. So don't get any dumbass ideas." He stabs his index finger to Yamamoto's chest with every word."I'm not your boyfriend and I sure as hell am NOT your girlfriend. This is purely an activity between single, young males to release repressed sexual urges.
GOT IT?"
"Haha, okay, okay!" Yamamoto holds up his hands in defense--no threat, okay, nothing to hide--and the fierce look on Gokudera's face makes him scootch over a little. Minutes earlier, they'd been pressed onto each other like sweaty summer clothes, but clearly Gokudera's Safe Zone had just ballooned out.
But the idea of being...what boyfriends? Is that what he called it? That hadn't even crossed his mind. He didn't like to name things if he didn't have to. He didn't want to wonder about why Gokudera had jumped to that conclusion so quickly. "Whatever you say, all right?"
"And to further reiterate my point I am going to snog the living daylights out of you. And we are going stay professionally impartial and feel NOTHING. If you do you're a fag. A homo. A fairy. A gaylord. AN ASS. PIRATE.
Yamamoto. Do you understand?"
"Um... we're re-establishing our masculinity and heterosexuality by making out?"
"Correct." Gokudera straddles the taller boy in all genuine seriousness he continues, "Are you prepared to close your eyes and think of England?"
"...not baseball?" Gokudera gives him that look he usually gives him before smacking him upside the head. "Okay, England!"
"Whatever you say." So...where does a not-boyfriend rest his hands when his not-boyfriend is sitting on his hips ready to make out with him until he's senseless?
Gokudera leans in so close his lips brush agains Yamamoto's with every hissy word he speaks, "And you better not hold back asshole. Who ever melts and goes all blushy and shit like a girl. They. Lose. The. Game. They. Fail. At life, at being a man, at EVERYTHING."
Oh, okay. That he can understand. Yamamoto doesn't like to lose. One quick sharp bite to Gokudera's bottom lip and he shoves his tongue inside. Hands on his hips, jerking Gokudera down hard against him, holding him in place.
Instantly Gokudera's forearms are against his chest, minimal skin contact is a must or it'd be- awkward. Inappropriate. Weird.
He sucks hard on Yamamoto's tongue and tilts his head to get a better angle. He breathes out low and harsh and makes sure to freeze his vocal chords lest some embarrasing noise escapes from him. A guy's gotta breathe okay. Regular oxygen intake is imperative to kissing and proving heterosexuality. That's all.
Mouths open wide agains each other like they're yelling. Breath getting faster like they're catapulting into a fight. Fingers tight on skin-clothes-hair--awkward--it's easier this way. Easier to keep things in perspective here. Easier, really, because Gokudera is almost complacent like this. Hand up his shirt? A buck of his hips in return. Another hand tight in the back pocket of his jeans? An intake of breath fast over Yamamoto's tongue that makes him grin. Fingers drifting over Gokudera's jaw, gently? --A glint of eyes like steel, like spark--Okay, bad move.
Gokudera breaks contact immediately. He's flushing (NOT blushing). Breathing hard, panting almost but no one needs to know that damnit damnit damnit. He speaks low, soft, "What are you thinking about now?"
"That you stopped." And he drags his teeth over Gokudera's adam's apple because that look on his face is...uncomfortable. Or something.
He rolls his eyes and tries not to groan, "Anything else?"
"Haha, for not taking this seriously you're being pretty serious!"
Gokudera's hand is a blur and he smacks the side of Yamamoto's head, "ENGLAND. The answer is ENGLAND YOU UTTER FOOL."
"Oh. Right." And he might not be smart like Gokudera is, but he's had enough swordfights at this point to admire his quick footwork around that one.
"England," he repeats, and starts to unbutton Gokudera's shirt.
Gokudera doesn't move to stop him, "So: what about England?" There is a dangerous, testing glint in his eye.
"Um..." Crap. Shoulda paid attention in class instead of doodling little stick men in his notes. "...tea?" He doesn't like tests.
Gokudera would have double taked if he wasn't staring hard into Yamamoto's face. "That's pretty... sophisticated. For you."
"Haha, I made it u--I like tea!"
Gokudera's face turns to horror as something incredibly unrelated dawns on him like armageddon "... you're not thinking about teabagging are you?"
"What? No. I don't like it in bags! I just get it all loose in a can, right?"
He gets a looong, hard stare in the eyes for that. Like the other boy's got infared lasers shooting from his pupils and he's scanning Yamamoto's brain for the ultimate truth.
He passes. Just barely.
"So umm-what are you thinking about?" And so the tables turn.
Gokudera answers, as fast as a whip, "England."
"What about England?"
"Their football team's shit. Italy rules."
Something pings in the back of Yamamoto's head Their men's football team? And he can see that. He doesn't really watch football much but it's not like he doesn't catch it on TV every now and then. He thinks that if he was watching them like that--like Gokudera probably does--he would think they were too bulky. But maybe Gokudera likes that sort of thing? His thoughts are interrupted by a growl and a bite to his ear, "Too much talking. Not enough kissing... or are you starting to feel gay or something?"
"...kissing would be less gay?"
His earlobe's getting gently mouthed, it tickles and burns pleasantly. "Yes. It would." Gokudera slides a hand up Yamamoto's shirt, he can feel every bump and plane of his abdomen as he goes up, up and up, "If you don't feel anything- you know. Whoosy and fluffy. Then it's not gay. If you're not feeling gay then we're continuing." He thumbs a nipple, "I'm not feeling gay." thumbs it again, "not. gay. at all."
Yamamoto wants to ask for a definition of gay, in this context, but then Gokudera's thumb rasps over his sensitive skin and a gasp morphs into a "Me neither."
It took the rest of the afternoon for Gokudera to deem them both as "a billion precent straight" and that they were "successful in reaffirming their heterosexuality by thinking of England (God save the Queen)". Yamamoto was glad. He was also very glad when Gokudera demanded they do this once a week on a regular basis. For he said it was important to monitor their heterosexuality through rigorous field testing and experimentation.
For they must be ever vigilant.
And Yamamoto agreed. And in the back of his mind made a mental note to wiki everything imaginable on England, lest he run out of material. He didn't want to make Gokudera think he was homo or all the testing would stop. And not only would it make him homosexual. but a lonely homosexual.
For the sake of his heterosexuality he would become an expert on football and tea and fog and saying 'mate' in a totally not homo way. And he would learn about doubledecker busses, and sexual positions would TOTALLY not come to mind. Ditto for all those little nooks and crannies in the London Underground.
*~*~*~*~*~~~~*****~~~*~*~*~~THE END~~*~*~*~*~*~~~****~~~*~*~*~*