(no subject)
I noticed today that I'm not making eye contact. I'm at that terrible point in my cycle when I wish to god that I had more control over some stuff, like the hormone flux that sends my serotonin levels shooting down and a wall between me and everyone else shooting up.
That said I've been feeling so much better about everything lately (the last few days non-withstanding), and dating again and taking care of myself, sort of, and not drinking or sleeping too much and not eating too little.
I've been meditating lately, I'm taking a class. Its helped me a lot, to relax, to clarify, to let go. I'm not stressed out, and I don't hate myself anymore. But I'm still confused, terrified that I'm about to turn 20, scared that I have to declare in a few months, freaked out about having feelings for someone again and about being unsure if those feelings are real or imagined or just wistful thinking.
But on the upside, I'm started to be able to write again...its been over 6 months since I've been able to write anything substantial. Its a nice feeling.
cheers.
That said I've been feeling so much better about everything lately (the last few days non-withstanding), and dating again and taking care of myself, sort of, and not drinking or sleeping too much and not eating too little.
I've been meditating lately, I'm taking a class. Its helped me a lot, to relax, to clarify, to let go. I'm not stressed out, and I don't hate myself anymore. But I'm still confused, terrified that I'm about to turn 20, scared that I have to declare in a few months, freaked out about having feelings for someone again and about being unsure if those feelings are real or imagined or just wistful thinking.
But on the upside, I'm started to be able to write again...its been over 6 months since I've been able to write anything substantial. Its a nice feeling.
cheers.