God, please give me drugs.
The daily grind during the week was bad enough, with janitorial work being what it is, but now they want to cap it off with a mandatory three-hour "workshop" (how I despise that term) on Sexual Harassment and Right To Know? This has got to be a bad joke. I can't face this. This is asking too much. If I am forced to do this, I deeply and sincerely want any drug that would make the experience something different from the slodgey, boring mess that I know it's going to be, up to and including a sweat-soaked paranoid mindfuck in which I desperately try to control an impulse to run shrieking out of the room for three hours.
Failing drugs, at least give me the option of a time machine.
I'm broke and I absolutely do not need to attend this, as it will teach me nothing I haven't learned ad nausuem already.
I wish I could strangle today. Wouldn't fucking hesitate.