(no subject)
went trick or treating last night. could have been better. prolly the last one for me tho. so i take it back could of been a lot better for it being my last. lol
job hunting still =/ def dont want to work in fast food, but options are limited.
school well sucks. lol every time i seem to get caught up, or ahead i get pulled right back behind.
I wish i could just get my ged and call it good, but god forbid if i just settle with okay, and not amazing for my family.
Me and kyle are good. first month we havent had a serious fight. which makes me feel hopeful that things are turning around.
Im not always feeling like im just a place to live anymore, im starting to feel like a girlfriend again, which i havent felt like since feb.
I still have my insecurities, and shit i have to work through. still praying tho its not just a waste of time.
familys well family. annoying stupid assholes, but are there when you need them. even tho there hard headed and never listen when they ask for advice but what ever. they can fix there own messes, im tired of doing it.
Lisa is turning 9 months old on the 19, glad she's here even with all my sisters daddy baby bullshit. She and kyle are generally the only thing that brings a smile to my face anymore. besides free candy xD.
but yeah thats my life as of right now. stuck in bum fuck Egypt. with nothing to do, and no friends to see. kinda feels bad tho because i warned kyle how boring it is here, and i dont think he realized at the time how much i wasnt just kidding. just wish things were better for us. he wants a car by the first, im not to big on it because of our past and plus ill never get to drive xD lol. he likes driving to much, plus hes driven me arouind everywhere since i was 13....guess its hard to get use to the fact that i drive too. also he wants a cell phone. i dont see the point in it because we have a house phone, yet ive never owned a cell phone so i dont see the quirks in it, plus he says its for emergencys when he gets a car, i just dont want him getting stupid and doing something that would ruin us. Came to close to that before, dont want to do it again.
looking forward to the new moon movie. it looks okay, not a big fan of the movies, but its something to do with kyle, and one of my close friends, and since i dont get out at all besides my moms or uncle, freedom looks amazing, even if its for a few hours.
speaking of which, what the fuck happened to all my "friends"? I use to be the most popular girl at school, and i had my grand blanc friends. seriously ask me how many of them i have now.
dont worry ill wait. seriously i talk to shana now and then, and i talk to angie a lot now a days, and im starting to talk to andria again but thats it xD im not really making friends at the alternative, just aquaintences. THe boys there are annoying as FUCK! god i hate males. =/ well most. besides kyle and harold and adam and marty but i havent spoken to him in months. the rest can go die. the girls there love drama...all the time. just happens to be the one thing i hate more then whores. which of course 99.9% of them are. yay. 3 people i could count as friends, Ashley, Sarah, Chelsey. ones a freshmen who knows nothing but is adorable, the other one i swear is a lesbian, and ive known sarah since 7th grade. idk. now im just bitching and talking. but yet again id rather do it here then ware kyles ears off. cause some of this shit i can gaurentee he doesnt wanna here lol. anyways i think im done. time to get over it and move on to what so not exciting stuff will happen to me next. Yay.
I love you kyle : )
job hunting still =/ def dont want to work in fast food, but options are limited.
school well sucks. lol every time i seem to get caught up, or ahead i get pulled right back behind.
I wish i could just get my ged and call it good, but god forbid if i just settle with okay, and not amazing for my family.
Me and kyle are good. first month we havent had a serious fight. which makes me feel hopeful that things are turning around.
Im not always feeling like im just a place to live anymore, im starting to feel like a girlfriend again, which i havent felt like since feb.
I still have my insecurities, and shit i have to work through. still praying tho its not just a waste of time.
familys well family. annoying stupid assholes, but are there when you need them. even tho there hard headed and never listen when they ask for advice but what ever. they can fix there own messes, im tired of doing it.
Lisa is turning 9 months old on the 19, glad she's here even with all my sisters daddy baby bullshit. She and kyle are generally the only thing that brings a smile to my face anymore. besides free candy xD.
but yeah thats my life as of right now. stuck in bum fuck Egypt. with nothing to do, and no friends to see. kinda feels bad tho because i warned kyle how boring it is here, and i dont think he realized at the time how much i wasnt just kidding. just wish things were better for us. he wants a car by the first, im not to big on it because of our past and plus ill never get to drive xD lol. he likes driving to much, plus hes driven me arouind everywhere since i was 13....guess its hard to get use to the fact that i drive too. also he wants a cell phone. i dont see the point in it because we have a house phone, yet ive never owned a cell phone so i dont see the quirks in it, plus he says its for emergencys when he gets a car, i just dont want him getting stupid and doing something that would ruin us. Came to close to that before, dont want to do it again.
looking forward to the new moon movie. it looks okay, not a big fan of the movies, but its something to do with kyle, and one of my close friends, and since i dont get out at all besides my moms or uncle, freedom looks amazing, even if its for a few hours.
speaking of which, what the fuck happened to all my "friends"? I use to be the most popular girl at school, and i had my grand blanc friends. seriously ask me how many of them i have now.
dont worry ill wait. seriously i talk to shana now and then, and i talk to angie a lot now a days, and im starting to talk to andria again but thats it xD im not really making friends at the alternative, just aquaintences. THe boys there are annoying as FUCK! god i hate males. =/ well most. besides kyle and harold and adam and marty but i havent spoken to him in months. the rest can go die. the girls there love drama...all the time. just happens to be the one thing i hate more then whores. which of course 99.9% of them are. yay. 3 people i could count as friends, Ashley, Sarah, Chelsey. ones a freshmen who knows nothing but is adorable, the other one i swear is a lesbian, and ive known sarah since 7th grade. idk. now im just bitching and talking. but yet again id rather do it here then ware kyles ears off. cause some of this shit i can gaurentee he doesnt wanna here lol. anyways i think im done. time to get over it and move on to what so not exciting stuff will happen to me next. Yay.
I love you kyle : )