(no subject)
It's my Friday! Yay!
So I was thinking about everything yesterday, what with all the changes that will be happening soon... And I realized something very integral.
I am scared out of my gourd.
I don't think I've ever been through something this big before. I mean, I'm getting MARRIED. And then we're moving ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Wow. This is... big! Probably one of the biggest things I've ever done. Not only am I making a commitment to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love, but I'm leaving all I'm familiar with soon after, and going to a place where I don't really know anything or anyone. It's scary!
I believe it's because of this reason, that I'm actually afraid, that I am excited to accomplish all of this! Odd, isn't it? But I've thought about it, and it's really the fear that's driving me to want to do this. The reasoning is simple, though:
There isn't a feeling in the world that equates to the sense of accomplishment you get when you conquer a fear.
No, seriously. It's a wonderful mix of adrenaline combined with satisfaction, relief and elation. When I conquered my fear of heights, I shook for like 5 min afterwards... but it felt WONDERFUL. Same thing with snakes, bugs, rejection... Well, I didn't shake after those, but still, you get the point. However, nothing so far has really been this big. So the idea of being able to jump this hurdle...The anticipation is actually greater than the fear.
So yes, I can't wait to conquer these fears. Although, in truth, I hope the fear related to the marriage persists, albeit in the direction of keeping the commitment. I think that would be the best way to make sure I keep working hard on our relationship. Because it's the hard work that keeps one going, right?
So I was thinking about everything yesterday, what with all the changes that will be happening soon... And I realized something very integral.
I am scared out of my gourd.
I don't think I've ever been through something this big before. I mean, I'm getting MARRIED. And then we're moving ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Wow. This is... big! Probably one of the biggest things I've ever done. Not only am I making a commitment to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love, but I'm leaving all I'm familiar with soon after, and going to a place where I don't really know anything or anyone. It's scary!
I believe it's because of this reason, that I'm actually afraid, that I am excited to accomplish all of this! Odd, isn't it? But I've thought about it, and it's really the fear that's driving me to want to do this. The reasoning is simple, though:
There isn't a feeling in the world that equates to the sense of accomplishment you get when you conquer a fear.
No, seriously. It's a wonderful mix of adrenaline combined with satisfaction, relief and elation. When I conquered my fear of heights, I shook for like 5 min afterwards... but it felt WONDERFUL. Same thing with snakes, bugs, rejection... Well, I didn't shake after those, but still, you get the point. However, nothing so far has really been this big. So the idea of being able to jump this hurdle...The anticipation is actually greater than the fear.
So yes, I can't wait to conquer these fears. Although, in truth, I hope the fear related to the marriage persists, albeit in the direction of keeping the commitment. I think that would be the best way to make sure I keep working hard on our relationship. Because it's the hard work that keeps one going, right?