Attend the Tale of Mel and Shae!
So, all, hello. Shae here, reporting from the spinny chair that Mel and I are currently sharing. (Mel says, "That sounds dirty.") We would like to tell you all about our amazing adventures in East Bumblefuck oops I mean Bridgeton, New Jersey (which we CANNOT EVER make fun of, apparently), but it would take too long to type everything amazing we did, so we have PICTURES. To SHOW YOU. Mel will now make a list of Highlight Things, and then our photo blog will begin. Also, apparently, I just made made a strange noise.
[MEL] Seriously guys. It was so special. You don't even understand. Shae just coughed on me.
Important Things
*Fried oreos! Seriously. You know you're in bumblefuck when there are friend oreos. And they can't spell the sign correctly.
*CORNFIELDS. And irrigation systems. Everywhere. And apple trees. It wouldn't be quite as disturbing except Ani DiFranco, what are you doing here? I don't know.
*There was a house in the middle of a field. Just...by itself. I don't know.
*Shae told us stories about her amazing cross-country road trip when she was 13, ask her sometime.
*We saw a viking. A giant pink viking. I honestly think it was the highlight of my life thus far.
*We sort of couldn't figure out where the folk festival was, so we ended up driving around and apparently there is a Bridgeton Zoo. With three ducks and two llamas and a swan. Where people go to for fun, or something. We didn't get any llama pictures. Cries.
*The actual festival itself was teeny weeny and pretty much made up of old confused hippie men, lesbian couples, and...that's pretty much it, actually. And us and our friend George.
*We saw Ana-Lucia play guitar. More on that later.
*George is our friend. He saved us FRONT ROW SEATS to see Ani. He loves Ani DiFranco too. He is our friend.
*We could see her sweat, seriously.
Okay pics.
[SHAE]
So, we arrived at the festival about halfway through Danielia Cotton's set. She looks like Ana-Lucia, like, she is her clone, seriously, and sounds like Janis Joplin. Rock.
(Mel just sang "Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd..." in the most bizarre voice ever. Seriously.
And then. There were these people. This lesbian couple. One of whom was wearing a bikini and really shouldn't have. They were dancing alot. Here they are.
And then we met her. See, she looks like Ana-Lucia. Wow.
While we were waiting in line to meet Ana-Lucia, the sign for friend oreos bothered me with its grammatical errors. As demonstrated:
[MELLEH] Anyway. Now onto the good part.
ANI. Shae went to get funnel cakes and got back just in time omg. And then. It was so good. She played God's Country first and the rest of it is kind of a blur. But she played Two Little Girls and. For the encore. 32 Flavors and Little Plastic Castles, bitches. Sing-along!
(Shae's interlude: Also, must mention this because I <3 the song. SHE PLAYED SHAMELESS. We shoo-bopped.)
Ignore the large-headed man.
Shae's up!
[SHAENESS] I had to leave my fruit-leather for this, hos.
OKAY. SO WE WERE THAT CLOSE TO ANI DIFRANCO, BITCHES.
And I was in complete orgasmic bliss. WE COULD SEE HER HUGE AMOUNTS OF SWEAT.
So. On the way home, we stopped at an ice-cream place. They sold raspberry swirl ice cream so OF COURSE I had to get some. I ordered a small cone. A SMALL. Apparently, this is what a small looks like:
And then her mother wanted to take pictures. Here they are:
Crazy Mel With Ice Cream:
See that hole in my skirt? We decided that it's a hole in my skirt like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit. Nevermind. By the way, my skirt has so much fabric it could clothe a small Guatemalan village.
Aren't we cute. Here's one our friend George's WIFE took for us:
And to close: Our Friend Paul Bunyan The Viking.
In conclusion, we are awesome.
[MEL] Seriously guys. It was so special. You don't even understand. Shae just coughed on me.
Important Things
*Fried oreos! Seriously. You know you're in bumblefuck when there are friend oreos. And they can't spell the sign correctly.
*CORNFIELDS. And irrigation systems. Everywhere. And apple trees. It wouldn't be quite as disturbing except Ani DiFranco, what are you doing here? I don't know.
*There was a house in the middle of a field. Just...by itself. I don't know.
*Shae told us stories about her amazing cross-country road trip when she was 13, ask her sometime.
*We saw a viking. A giant pink viking. I honestly think it was the highlight of my life thus far.
*We sort of couldn't figure out where the folk festival was, so we ended up driving around and apparently there is a Bridgeton Zoo. With three ducks and two llamas and a swan. Where people go to for fun, or something. We didn't get any llama pictures. Cries.
*The actual festival itself was teeny weeny and pretty much made up of old confused hippie men, lesbian couples, and...that's pretty much it, actually. And us and our friend George.
*We saw Ana-Lucia play guitar. More on that later.
*George is our friend. He saved us FRONT ROW SEATS to see Ani. He loves Ani DiFranco too. He is our friend.
*We could see her sweat, seriously.
Okay pics.
[SHAE]
So, we arrived at the festival about halfway through Danielia Cotton's set. She looks like Ana-Lucia, like, she is her clone, seriously, and sounds like Janis Joplin. Rock.
(Mel just sang "Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd..." in the most bizarre voice ever. Seriously.
And then. There were these people. This lesbian couple. One of whom was wearing a bikini and really shouldn't have. They were dancing alot. Here they are.
And then we met her. See, she looks like Ana-Lucia. Wow.
While we were waiting in line to meet Ana-Lucia, the sign for friend oreos bothered me with its grammatical errors. As demonstrated:
[MELLEH] Anyway. Now onto the good part.
ANI. Shae went to get funnel cakes and got back just in time omg. And then. It was so good. She played God's Country first and the rest of it is kind of a blur. But she played Two Little Girls and. For the encore. 32 Flavors and Little Plastic Castles, bitches. Sing-along!
(Shae's interlude: Also, must mention this because I <3 the song. SHE PLAYED SHAMELESS. We shoo-bopped.)
Ignore the large-headed man.
Shae's up!
[SHAENESS] I had to leave my fruit-leather for this, hos.
OKAY. SO WE WERE THAT CLOSE TO ANI DIFRANCO, BITCHES.
And I was in complete orgasmic bliss. WE COULD SEE HER HUGE AMOUNTS OF SWEAT.
So. On the way home, we stopped at an ice-cream place. They sold raspberry swirl ice cream so OF COURSE I had to get some. I ordered a small cone. A SMALL. Apparently, this is what a small looks like:
And then her mother wanted to take pictures. Here they are:
Crazy Mel With Ice Cream:
See that hole in my skirt? We decided that it's a hole in my skirt like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit. Nevermind. By the way, my skirt has so much fabric it could clothe a small Guatemalan village.
Aren't we cute. Here's one our friend George's WIFE took for us:
And to close: Our Friend Paul Bunyan The Viking.
In conclusion, we are awesome.