Disco Fever...
Oh man. What. a. Couple of days...
First I get sick on Thursday with something mysterious, dark, and possibly life threatening...
Well maybe just social life threatening.
Convinced I was initially that the flu it was. Alas nothing so simple as that. Then as I lay there harkening back to senior of high school I remember the terrible infection that spread from my throat to the rest of my body! Oh yeah! Nearly killed me! FUN!
So I enlisted my ever so kind housemate Alexis to take me to the Pasadena Emergency Care Clinic.
Where predictably they told me that it was "just something going around."
Which is the medical term for "whatever."
So the Doc- sorry Doctor's ASSITANT decided that a liter of saline solution would help my dehydration as well as a shot of painkiller and anti-nausea drugs.
For those of you who have never know the joy of a saline drip or any drip besides that of your local Starbucks, let me describle the joy that one experiences watching fluid drip drop by drop into your veins.
First off a bag is 1 liter... that's almost 34 ounces... that's almost 3 cans of coke... filled with salt water.
Yeech.
So they slip the needle- actually needle is too kind a word, let's say "nozzle"- so they slip the nozzle into my vein and star letting it drip in. And for your viewing pleasure they've provided a handy display area where you can watch the solution drip in... And watch you will because there's damn sure not anything else to do but look at that steady fluid and ask yourself "Is this healthy?" "Doesn't salt water dehydrate you?" "No wait our bodies are 68% salt water or something like that." "That last thought wasn't really a question was it?" "I wonder if my neighbor will be made that I puked on his minivan?"
The most interested part of the drip by far was the surely unorthodox or at least non-kosher use of the blood pressure test (you know the puffy thing they put around your arm that's like an evil version of water wings) when the bag was nearing it's end and losing momentum. Yes my friends they did indeed place said blood tester and use it to squeeze it most quickly and efficiently into my already swollen arm. . This probably due to the fact that I was the last patient of the day and everyone wanted to get soused before going home. "Don't worry," said the DA (doctors assistant) "Sometimes we give a whole bag to a patient in 5 minutes!" he seemed quite proud as if this was his own invention which would not have surprised me. "Sometimes we do two at once!" great just give me all my meals this way...
So in answer to how it feels to be on a saline drip I would say that I feels like watching grass grow... or I should say like grass being watered with an Lilliputian turkey baster...
After a few hours I stumble back out into the nouvelle riche Pasadena air clutching an overpriced prescription for antibiotics and anti nausea drugs, to find that my housemate had left to go to a salsa concert and get boba tea. After I recovered we sped off to try and fill said prescription... alas no one get's sick after 10pm in Los Angeles therefore no pharmacy was available...
Anyways the rest is rather dull and involves more vomiting and most of the book "Seabiscuit" which makes for some weird ass fever dreams. I'm mostly better now though, thanks to antibiotics!! Hopefully I won't have an allergic reaction like I did to the last antibiotics I took (read: hives...everywhere).
Fer now I'm off to bed...
First I get sick on Thursday with something mysterious, dark, and possibly life threatening...
Well maybe just social life threatening.
Convinced I was initially that the flu it was. Alas nothing so simple as that. Then as I lay there harkening back to senior of high school I remember the terrible infection that spread from my throat to the rest of my body! Oh yeah! Nearly killed me! FUN!
So I enlisted my ever so kind housemate Alexis to take me to the Pasadena Emergency Care Clinic.
Where predictably they told me that it was "just something going around."
Which is the medical term for "whatever."
So the Doc- sorry Doctor's ASSITANT decided that a liter of saline solution would help my dehydration as well as a shot of painkiller and anti-nausea drugs.
For those of you who have never know the joy of a saline drip or any drip besides that of your local Starbucks, let me describle the joy that one experiences watching fluid drip drop by drop into your veins.
First off a bag is 1 liter... that's almost 34 ounces... that's almost 3 cans of coke... filled with salt water.
Yeech.
So they slip the needle- actually needle is too kind a word, let's say "nozzle"- so they slip the nozzle into my vein and star letting it drip in. And for your viewing pleasure they've provided a handy display area where you can watch the solution drip in... And watch you will because there's damn sure not anything else to do but look at that steady fluid and ask yourself "Is this healthy?" "Doesn't salt water dehydrate you?" "No wait our bodies are 68% salt water or something like that." "That last thought wasn't really a question was it?" "I wonder if my neighbor will be made that I puked on his minivan?"
The most interested part of the drip by far was the surely unorthodox or at least non-kosher use of the blood pressure test (you know the puffy thing they put around your arm that's like an evil version of water wings) when the bag was nearing it's end and losing momentum. Yes my friends they did indeed place said blood tester and use it to squeeze it most quickly and efficiently into my already swollen arm. . This probably due to the fact that I was the last patient of the day and everyone wanted to get soused before going home. "Don't worry," said the DA (doctors assistant) "Sometimes we give a whole bag to a patient in 5 minutes!" he seemed quite proud as if this was his own invention which would not have surprised me. "Sometimes we do two at once!" great just give me all my meals this way...
So in answer to how it feels to be on a saline drip I would say that I feels like watching grass grow... or I should say like grass being watered with an Lilliputian turkey baster...
After a few hours I stumble back out into the nouvelle riche Pasadena air clutching an overpriced prescription for antibiotics and anti nausea drugs, to find that my housemate had left to go to a salsa concert and get boba tea. After I recovered we sped off to try and fill said prescription... alas no one get's sick after 10pm in Los Angeles therefore no pharmacy was available...
Anyways the rest is rather dull and involves more vomiting and most of the book "Seabiscuit" which makes for some weird ass fever dreams. I'm mostly better now though, thanks to antibiotics!! Hopefully I won't have an allergic reaction like I did to the last antibiotics I took (read: hives...everywhere).
Fer now I'm off to bed...