Introduction to the madness. (Pg.3)
-Work in Progress-
-Please Note-
The Book of Andrew contains many parodies of the Holy Bible, Koran, whatever the hell scientology uses, jewish things, pop-culture, sub-culture, D&D, video games, intarweb-culture, inside jokes, outside jokes, stand in the doorway jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, dirty jokes that sound clean, clean jokes that sound dirty, George W. Bush jokes, and much much more. It's always best to take this all with a good sense of humor. Any and all events, people, and places in the Book of Andrew are fictitious (mostly anyway) and are in no way related to real life events (again, mostly anyway).
Recomended Uses for the Book of Andrew:
-A replacement/companion of the Bible.
-Replace the Bibles in hotel rooms with them. Good clean fun!
-Play the Book of Andrew drinking game! (Rules listed in chapter 6)
-Become a Book of Andrew thumper and preach to your friends!
-Go door-to-door spreading the good word of me! That's right! ME!
-Mis-Interpret information for the end of man-kind as we know it! (Zombie Jesus! Yay!)
-Start your own cult religion based off the Book of Andrew.
-Use the Book of Andrew for your already established religion.
-Serve in a big bowl with milk and strawberries! Book of Andrew-O's! They're Sacrelicious!
-Create a cartoon/puppet show/video game/website for kids based off the Book of Andrew. Cause all children need to know about sodomy!
-Start your own alternative/ punk rock band based off the teachings of the Book of Andrew!
-Don't bathe for three weeks, stand out on the street corner, wear a big sign, and yell random quotes from the Book of Andrew at passer-bys!
-Base your presidential campaign off the Book of Andrew.
-Write a movie based off the Book of Andrew and send me a nice fat royalty check. (Yes, this crap is already under Creative Commons NonCommercial License , bitches)
-And Much Much More.
Now you may be asking yourself, exactly how DID the Book of Andrew REALLY come about (and I don't mean the whole convoluted story that you have somehow managed to pull out of your ass [See Foreword])? Honestly, I don't clearly remember. I remember for some reason racking my brain to come up with something to make someone laugh, which would bring me to the very first written line of the Book of Andrew. Honestly, I can't remember the damn line. I suppose it'll come back to me later when I get to where it's supposed to be in the book. The very first passage of the Book of Andrew popped into my head about one year ago (from the day that I write this) in 2005, when boredom inspired me to create this mess. It's all gotten out of control since then, but I could have never have written anymore of this if I ever had any control of it. And so, I give to you, in it's entirety, The Book of Andrew....enjoy....
Oh and if you do want to make a movie out of this, call me! Seriously!
-Please Note-
The Book of Andrew contains many parodies of the Holy Bible, Koran, whatever the hell scientology uses, jewish things, pop-culture, sub-culture, D&D, video games, intarweb-culture, inside jokes, outside jokes, stand in the doorway jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, dirty jokes that sound clean, clean jokes that sound dirty, George W. Bush jokes, and much much more. It's always best to take this all with a good sense of humor. Any and all events, people, and places in the Book of Andrew are fictitious (mostly anyway) and are in no way related to real life events (again, mostly anyway).
Recomended Uses for the Book of Andrew:
-A replacement/companion of the Bible.
-Replace the Bibles in hotel rooms with them. Good clean fun!
-Play the Book of Andrew drinking game! (Rules listed in chapter 6)
-Become a Book of Andrew thumper and preach to your friends!
-Go door-to-door spreading the good word of me! That's right! ME!
-Mis-Interpret information for the end of man-kind as we know it! (Zombie Jesus! Yay!)
-Start your own cult religion based off the Book of Andrew.
-Use the Book of Andrew for your already established religion.
-Serve in a big bowl with milk and strawberries! Book of Andrew-O's! They're Sacrelicious!
-Create a cartoon/puppet show/video game/website for kids based off the Book of Andrew. Cause all children need to know about sodomy!
-Start your own alternative/ punk rock band based off the teachings of the Book of Andrew!
-Don't bathe for three weeks, stand out on the street corner, wear a big sign, and yell random quotes from the Book of Andrew at passer-bys!
-Base your presidential campaign off the Book of Andrew.
-Write a movie based off the Book of Andrew and send me a nice fat royalty check. (Yes, this crap is already under Creative Commons NonCommercial License , bitches)
-And Much Much More.
Now you may be asking yourself, exactly how DID the Book of Andrew REALLY come about (and I don't mean the whole convoluted story that you have somehow managed to pull out of your ass [See Foreword])? Honestly, I don't clearly remember. I remember for some reason racking my brain to come up with something to make someone laugh, which would bring me to the very first written line of the Book of Andrew. Honestly, I can't remember the damn line. I suppose it'll come back to me later when I get to where it's supposed to be in the book. The very first passage of the Book of Andrew popped into my head about one year ago (from the day that I write this) in 2005, when boredom inspired me to create this mess. It's all gotten out of control since then, but I could have never have written anymore of this if I ever had any control of it. And so, I give to you, in it's entirety, The Book of Andrew....enjoy....
Oh and if you do want to make a movie out of this, call me! Seriously!