banana pancakes
wow, i have had this journal for a mighty long time. i like to read through my past entries every once in awhile. most of the time i find them to be stupid, pathetic, and immature but for the first time i found them entertaining. it was like reading someone else's dumb teenage angst. now, don't get me wrong. i'm not above angst but i do think that i am a bit wiser now than i used to be.
packing is taking forever and the fact that i cry periodically during the day does not speed up the process. i hate moving especially given the circumstances.
my relationship with nick has failed. it's gone sour like last month's milk. people keep telling me that failure is not a good word for the situation but it just seems to fit so well. it rolls off the tongue. i look at all the happy photographs of us at the zoo and disneyland and just on dates in general and i feel so sad. i want to warn the 2 smiling people in the pictures, tell them "save yourself! break up now before things get complicated". but i can't so instead i resort to taking really long breaths while sitting amongst a sea of boxes. i am just so upset and on edge.
i really feel like there is nothing we can do to ever get back to where we were so very long ago. time doesn't heal everything. yes, i agree the space between us will probably help but i'm not expecting a miracle. this is no child's play y'all. i'm getting divorced without the paperwork.
i just really don't know what to do. i feel like i should shake his hand, give him his keys and walk out the door. i'm not but that would be real ideal for me.
hi roland.
packing is taking forever and the fact that i cry periodically during the day does not speed up the process. i hate moving especially given the circumstances.
my relationship with nick has failed. it's gone sour like last month's milk. people keep telling me that failure is not a good word for the situation but it just seems to fit so well. it rolls off the tongue. i look at all the happy photographs of us at the zoo and disneyland and just on dates in general and i feel so sad. i want to warn the 2 smiling people in the pictures, tell them "save yourself! break up now before things get complicated". but i can't so instead i resort to taking really long breaths while sitting amongst a sea of boxes. i am just so upset and on edge.
i really feel like there is nothing we can do to ever get back to where we were so very long ago. time doesn't heal everything. yes, i agree the space between us will probably help but i'm not expecting a miracle. this is no child's play y'all. i'm getting divorced without the paperwork.
i just really don't know what to do. i feel like i should shake his hand, give him his keys and walk out the door. i'm not but that would be real ideal for me.
hi roland.