(no subject)
I usually don’t post more than once a month but I decided I should take advantage of livejournal. So put your seatbacks into the up-right position and fasten your mother fucking safety belts. You are going on a ride of the most poetic and knowledge filled verbal diarrhea there is, was and ever could be.
Topic 1: Makeup stains on clothes
It came to my attention after working at banana republic that this nation's bitches sure do wear a lot of makeup. Not only do they wear it but they seem to want to share their nasty ass crap with everyone else. At least, that’s the only reason I can think of for them ruining countless shirts across America with their horrible stains. Either that or it is some sort of calling card, a marker for a secret society of old women that meet in their basements on Sunday afternoons and watch the food network while applying lipstick, blush and foundation to every inch of their wrinkled Bob Dylan-esque faces. This theory can also be supported by the fact that all of the makeup left on clothes is the exact same color. It doesn’t matter what item of clothing it is, what store it is in or if it’s even in America. It’s all the same weird burnt orange with a dash of dried blood every time. It must be secret society, one that rivals the numbers of the free masons or the illuminati.
Topic 2: What happened to America and why?
At first you will think “Oh no. Not another “what is this country coming to” post” and you, my good sir, will be wrong, I understand that the job market fluctuates and that the economy will have its ups and downs. I’m not talking about that. The market will work itself out. I’m talking about our glorification of Hollywood and the idiots that have ruined it and news as we knew it. How I yearn for the good old days back in 1958 when the Oscars was about the actors. Not what Nicole Kidman is wearing and what kind of jewelry is in style this season. I’m so sick of hearing about Anna Nicole smith’s baby’s daddy and what she died of. I never thought I would miss the days of earthquakes and school shootings being front page news. I guess I was wrong. I’m bored to death with and desensitized to Mary Kate’s eating disorders, Britney’s slow decline into shear lunacy and Lindsey’s hard partying. I’ve had enough I really wish they would all die (if that didn’t mean at least 6 straight years of news coverage about their families and autopsy reports). These people, which we keep fueling by being interested in the gay shit that they do are ruining our country and our youth.
Topic 3: Television was so 40 years ago.
I’m sick of TV. Not because it has “gotten bad” ,even though it has, but because I’ve been watching the crap for 22 years and I’m not seeing any improvements (with the exception of a few commercials). It’s the same shit day after fucking day. A formula that was invented circa 1958; the sitcom is still in practice and is based on nothing but temporary amnesia. It’s the same crap every episode, sure it’s funny; I’m not saying it isn’t. I’m just saying I have had enough of it. Television has passed its heyday and jumped the shark a gazillion times but everyone keeps watching it. I keep watching it, and I feel so stupid and so should you. Think about it like this. You pay money each month to look at a rectangle across the room. Now this rectangle it has these shows that are essentially the same shows from 1958 and always will be the same shows. These shows, see the tricky thing about shows is that they were made for one reason, and it’s not to make you laugh or cry or think. They were made to pacify you in between commercials. See if television was just commercials no one would watch. They discovered this early on and made the show to hold your brain over for ten minutes at a time. The commercials, what do they do? Well for starters they try to sell you crap that you don’t need, people lived for thousands of years without Advil, and if they aren’t doing that they are making you insecure. Telling you that you are not good enough for this society. So there you have it. The magic of television. A box, that you pay for to tell you about crap that you don’t need and to make you feel insecure. We are such a smart country. And what pisses me off even more is that we let this bullshit control our lives. “Oh, I can’t go out tonight, Melrose Place is on.” WHAT THE FUCK! Get a life you sorry sack of shit. I’m guilty of it. There are plenty of times that I have let TV get in my way of doing things. But from now on, I’m really going to try not to and if you read this you should try too.
Ps. If I get shushed one more fucking time during an episode of some bullshit I’m going to knock your teeth out. Because if television is that fucking important to you, you deserve to look like the white trash peace of shit that you are.
Topic 1: Makeup stains on clothes
It came to my attention after working at banana republic that this nation's bitches sure do wear a lot of makeup. Not only do they wear it but they seem to want to share their nasty ass crap with everyone else. At least, that’s the only reason I can think of for them ruining countless shirts across America with their horrible stains. Either that or it is some sort of calling card, a marker for a secret society of old women that meet in their basements on Sunday afternoons and watch the food network while applying lipstick, blush and foundation to every inch of their wrinkled Bob Dylan-esque faces. This theory can also be supported by the fact that all of the makeup left on clothes is the exact same color. It doesn’t matter what item of clothing it is, what store it is in or if it’s even in America. It’s all the same weird burnt orange with a dash of dried blood every time. It must be secret society, one that rivals the numbers of the free masons or the illuminati.
Topic 2: What happened to America and why?
At first you will think “Oh no. Not another “what is this country coming to” post” and you, my good sir, will be wrong, I understand that the job market fluctuates and that the economy will have its ups and downs. I’m not talking about that. The market will work itself out. I’m talking about our glorification of Hollywood and the idiots that have ruined it and news as we knew it. How I yearn for the good old days back in 1958 when the Oscars was about the actors. Not what Nicole Kidman is wearing and what kind of jewelry is in style this season. I’m so sick of hearing about Anna Nicole smith’s baby’s daddy and what she died of. I never thought I would miss the days of earthquakes and school shootings being front page news. I guess I was wrong. I’m bored to death with and desensitized to Mary Kate’s eating disorders, Britney’s slow decline into shear lunacy and Lindsey’s hard partying. I’ve had enough I really wish they would all die (if that didn’t mean at least 6 straight years of news coverage about their families and autopsy reports). These people, which we keep fueling by being interested in the gay shit that they do are ruining our country and our youth.
Topic 3: Television was so 40 years ago.
I’m sick of TV. Not because it has “gotten bad” ,even though it has, but because I’ve been watching the crap for 22 years and I’m not seeing any improvements (with the exception of a few commercials). It’s the same shit day after fucking day. A formula that was invented circa 1958; the sitcom is still in practice and is based on nothing but temporary amnesia. It’s the same crap every episode, sure it’s funny; I’m not saying it isn’t. I’m just saying I have had enough of it. Television has passed its heyday and jumped the shark a gazillion times but everyone keeps watching it. I keep watching it, and I feel so stupid and so should you. Think about it like this. You pay money each month to look at a rectangle across the room. Now this rectangle it has these shows that are essentially the same shows from 1958 and always will be the same shows. These shows, see the tricky thing about shows is that they were made for one reason, and it’s not to make you laugh or cry or think. They were made to pacify you in between commercials. See if television was just commercials no one would watch. They discovered this early on and made the show to hold your brain over for ten minutes at a time. The commercials, what do they do? Well for starters they try to sell you crap that you don’t need, people lived for thousands of years without Advil, and if they aren’t doing that they are making you insecure. Telling you that you are not good enough for this society. So there you have it. The magic of television. A box, that you pay for to tell you about crap that you don’t need and to make you feel insecure. We are such a smart country. And what pisses me off even more is that we let this bullshit control our lives. “Oh, I can’t go out tonight, Melrose Place is on.” WHAT THE FUCK! Get a life you sorry sack of shit. I’m guilty of it. There are plenty of times that I have let TV get in my way of doing things. But from now on, I’m really going to try not to and if you read this you should try too.
Ps. If I get shushed one more fucking time during an episode of some bullshit I’m going to knock your teeth out. Because if television is that fucking important to you, you deserve to look like the white trash peace of shit that you are.