Staying Right Here
Staying Right Here | theblobmaster | PG | friendship!kaiyeol | hurt/comfort | 1.343 w
written for this prompt at exopromptmeme. i'm so sorry for the delay of this. also i know it's probably nothing like what you wanted. and inspired from the radio interview where baekhyun called kai out for his 'coldness'
chanyeol looks nervously over at jongin, sees a flicker of hurt at baekhyun’s words. listens as jongin defends himself. a flare of annoyance towards his close friend starts in chanyeol because baekhyun knows, just like the rest of the members, that jongin is anything but cold.
jongin is blunt, says what he means and doesn’t wrap it up until it can be misunderstood. it’s a quality that chanyeol has always envied, to be able to say that he doesn’t like it instead of smilingly going along with it.
he catches baekhyun’s eyes across the room and there’s regret already forming from mentioning more than once that jongin’s cold. that baekhyun has realized how much the younger took it to heart.
they pile into the van and chanyeol presses himself in beside jongin in the back, getting questioning stares from the others when he puts his hand on the younger’s thigh. silently they sit beside each other driving to the practice room.
baekhyun tries to catch the younger before practice but jongin dodges with the excuse of going to the restroom, only to step in a second before they’re called to position. growl starts playing and jongin is no longer jongin but kai. chanyeol fumbles a bit, loses his balance because he’s focused on jongin’s tired eyes as he waits for the other team to be done. the dancer hyung yells frustratedly and stops the music saying they’ll have to take it from the top. this time chanyeol makes sure not to look at jongin, he knows he’d get distracted by the reserved look in the younger’s eyes.
chanyeol doesn’t make a mistake through the rest of practice still there’s a hand tugging at the back of his sweaty t-shirt. he turns around and there jongin stands with his greyish blonde hair that he constantly pulls at self consciously. “want to go through it again?” it’s not a question as much as a request, staying behind to help chanyeol is mostly just an excuse to let jongin practice more without joonmyun breathing down his neck worriedly. “sure.”
it’s an easy routine by now, jongin guiding chanyeol through the harder parts, stopping and correcting with gentle words and hands that guides him. today though jongin isn’t really there and chanyeol stops his dancing turning to jongin with a determined face. jongin opens his mouth to protest but chanyeol shushes him before he can say anything. “stop thinking.” chanyeol says instead, it leaves jongin staring at him confused. his eyes wide and bare, he looks like a lost child.
kai is all force, sex appeal and charisma. kai knows he’s desired and wanted. kai thrives in it. kai is always sure of himself.
jongin is all awkward laughs, shy smiles and cautiousness. jongin is a kid with a passion greater than no other chanyeol has ever seen. jongin knows he’s handsome but he doubts himself even more because of that. jongin is self conscious about his tanned skin. jongin is shy around strangers and boisterous with friends.
jongin is nothing like kai but without him kai wouldn’t exist.
“what do you mean stop thinking?” it comes out harsher than he intended it seems because jongin startles at the cold tone and he visibly deflate. “i really am cold, aren’t i?” it’s a ghost of a whisper, low and full of so many emotions. he drops gracelessly to the floor, curling in on himself and buries his face in his folded knees. like this he’s so small and chanyeol doesn’t like it. with a small tug on jongin’s hair he says, “come on. get up. we’re going for a snack. hyung’s treat.”
freshly showered and makeup free chanyeol pulls jongin to the ahjusshi selling tteokbokki further down the street and asks for a large serving. jongin stands passively behind him and waits. there’s a bench just behind the vendor that chanyeol pulls jongin to before all but pushing him down on it, shoving the rice cakes in his face. “eat” he orders. chanyeol has to gesture to the food again before jongin stops staring at him suspiciously.
the light from the street lamps are soft and highlights the dark bags under jongin’s eyes. chanyeol remembers back when they first debuted, how rarely he saw jongin’s smile for a long time. remembers how jongin brushed off the big amount of hate he received for being placed at the very front with sheer determination and passion for what he does.
jongin shovels down the spicy snack, only peeking up at him twice until he’s finished. there’s sauce in the corners of his mouth when he looks up and chanyeol can’t help the chuckle that comes out at the sight. “what?” jongin asks annoyed and confused, shaking his head chanyeol just grabs a paper tissue from his jacket and cleans off jongin’s mouth with a fond smile on his lips. it’s rare that jongin allows someone to mother him, but today he relaxes into the touch and welcomes it. “thank you.” he mutters in a quiet voice, chanyeol just pets his hair smiling at his younger friend. it’s so easy to forget that jongin is younger. has basically lived in a dance studio for most of his life. since he was eight jongin’s life has revolved around dance. jongin fought to be where he is today, practiced and grinded his teeth together through pain. never showing his weaknesses voluntarily, never asking to be babied even if there’s more than enough people willing to do so.
“i know i might not be ideal, but i know how to listen.” it’s a complicated and completely unnecessary way of saying talk to me, but it’s hard to get jongin to speak about his feelings and chanyeol really isn’t the first choice to go to for heart to heart talks. “do you think i’m cold?” is quietly muttered after a few minutes of silence. jongin is poking his lip again, nervously looking down at their feet bumping together. chanyeol grabs the hand and intervenes their fingers, giving the smaller hand a squeeze. “do you want the truth?” jongin nods with a little huff of annoyance that chanyeol even asked.
“yes. sometimes you are.” he sees jongin opening his mouth and give another squeeze. “but! more often than not it’s easy to see how much you care.” taking a deep breath chanyeol continues, “jongin-ah, every single person in this band, around us and with us cares for you. we appreciate that you state things as they are because you do it out of love for us, because you want us to stay together without problems. baekhyun jokes around most of the time you know that.” jongin’s worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and chanyeol wants to soothe the redness, make jongin forget his insecurities somehow along the way. “all the antis that send you hate doesn’t know you and no matter how cliché it is, they are just jealous because of your talent. annoyed that their words didn’t bring you down.” lightly there’s a thumb tracing the skin at the back of chanyeol’s hand. “but what if i end up hurting one of you? you’d leave me.” his voice cracks and it hurts so much to see jongin suffer under all of these insecurities coming from being under constant pressure of being the face of the group.
“jongin. look at me.” chanyeol says and he waits until he has eye contact with jongin before continuing, “we’ll never leave. i’ll never leave. you are a precious friend. someone that we all care for. someone that can brighten our days just as much as we can get annoyed at.” the flicker of hurt is back in jongin’s eyes at the last word. “and that’s alright. because we still love you even when you’re an annoying little shit.” he finishes. “do you promise that hyung? no matter how much i screw up that you’ll stay beside me?” and with another squeeze chanyeol nods and pulls jongin in for a hug.
how could any of them leave their precious little dancing machine alone?
please do leave a comment to tell me what you think.
written for this prompt at exopromptmeme. i'm so sorry for the delay of this. also i know it's probably nothing like what you wanted. and inspired from the radio interview where baekhyun called kai out for his 'coldness'
chanyeol looks nervously over at jongin, sees a flicker of hurt at baekhyun’s words. listens as jongin defends himself. a flare of annoyance towards his close friend starts in chanyeol because baekhyun knows, just like the rest of the members, that jongin is anything but cold.
jongin is blunt, says what he means and doesn’t wrap it up until it can be misunderstood. it’s a quality that chanyeol has always envied, to be able to say that he doesn’t like it instead of smilingly going along with it.
he catches baekhyun’s eyes across the room and there’s regret already forming from mentioning more than once that jongin’s cold. that baekhyun has realized how much the younger took it to heart.
they pile into the van and chanyeol presses himself in beside jongin in the back, getting questioning stares from the others when he puts his hand on the younger’s thigh. silently they sit beside each other driving to the practice room.
baekhyun tries to catch the younger before practice but jongin dodges with the excuse of going to the restroom, only to step in a second before they’re called to position. growl starts playing and jongin is no longer jongin but kai. chanyeol fumbles a bit, loses his balance because he’s focused on jongin’s tired eyes as he waits for the other team to be done. the dancer hyung yells frustratedly and stops the music saying they’ll have to take it from the top. this time chanyeol makes sure not to look at jongin, he knows he’d get distracted by the reserved look in the younger’s eyes.
chanyeol doesn’t make a mistake through the rest of practice still there’s a hand tugging at the back of his sweaty t-shirt. he turns around and there jongin stands with his greyish blonde hair that he constantly pulls at self consciously. “want to go through it again?” it’s not a question as much as a request, staying behind to help chanyeol is mostly just an excuse to let jongin practice more without joonmyun breathing down his neck worriedly. “sure.”
it’s an easy routine by now, jongin guiding chanyeol through the harder parts, stopping and correcting with gentle words and hands that guides him. today though jongin isn’t really there and chanyeol stops his dancing turning to jongin with a determined face. jongin opens his mouth to protest but chanyeol shushes him before he can say anything. “stop thinking.” chanyeol says instead, it leaves jongin staring at him confused. his eyes wide and bare, he looks like a lost child.
kai is all force, sex appeal and charisma. kai knows he’s desired and wanted. kai thrives in it. kai is always sure of himself.
jongin is all awkward laughs, shy smiles and cautiousness. jongin is a kid with a passion greater than no other chanyeol has ever seen. jongin knows he’s handsome but he doubts himself even more because of that. jongin is self conscious about his tanned skin. jongin is shy around strangers and boisterous with friends.
jongin is nothing like kai but without him kai wouldn’t exist.
“what do you mean stop thinking?” it comes out harsher than he intended it seems because jongin startles at the cold tone and he visibly deflate. “i really am cold, aren’t i?” it’s a ghost of a whisper, low and full of so many emotions. he drops gracelessly to the floor, curling in on himself and buries his face in his folded knees. like this he’s so small and chanyeol doesn’t like it. with a small tug on jongin’s hair he says, “come on. get up. we’re going for a snack. hyung’s treat.”
freshly showered and makeup free chanyeol pulls jongin to the ahjusshi selling tteokbokki further down the street and asks for a large serving. jongin stands passively behind him and waits. there’s a bench just behind the vendor that chanyeol pulls jongin to before all but pushing him down on it, shoving the rice cakes in his face. “eat” he orders. chanyeol has to gesture to the food again before jongin stops staring at him suspiciously.
the light from the street lamps are soft and highlights the dark bags under jongin’s eyes. chanyeol remembers back when they first debuted, how rarely he saw jongin’s smile for a long time. remembers how jongin brushed off the big amount of hate he received for being placed at the very front with sheer determination and passion for what he does.
jongin shovels down the spicy snack, only peeking up at him twice until he’s finished. there’s sauce in the corners of his mouth when he looks up and chanyeol can’t help the chuckle that comes out at the sight. “what?” jongin asks annoyed and confused, shaking his head chanyeol just grabs a paper tissue from his jacket and cleans off jongin’s mouth with a fond smile on his lips. it’s rare that jongin allows someone to mother him, but today he relaxes into the touch and welcomes it. “thank you.” he mutters in a quiet voice, chanyeol just pets his hair smiling at his younger friend. it’s so easy to forget that jongin is younger. has basically lived in a dance studio for most of his life. since he was eight jongin’s life has revolved around dance. jongin fought to be where he is today, practiced and grinded his teeth together through pain. never showing his weaknesses voluntarily, never asking to be babied even if there’s more than enough people willing to do so.
“i know i might not be ideal, but i know how to listen.” it’s a complicated and completely unnecessary way of saying talk to me, but it’s hard to get jongin to speak about his feelings and chanyeol really isn’t the first choice to go to for heart to heart talks. “do you think i’m cold?” is quietly muttered after a few minutes of silence. jongin is poking his lip again, nervously looking down at their feet bumping together. chanyeol grabs the hand and intervenes their fingers, giving the smaller hand a squeeze. “do you want the truth?” jongin nods with a little huff of annoyance that chanyeol even asked.
“yes. sometimes you are.” he sees jongin opening his mouth and give another squeeze. “but! more often than not it’s easy to see how much you care.” taking a deep breath chanyeol continues, “jongin-ah, every single person in this band, around us and with us cares for you. we appreciate that you state things as they are because you do it out of love for us, because you want us to stay together without problems. baekhyun jokes around most of the time you know that.” jongin’s worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and chanyeol wants to soothe the redness, make jongin forget his insecurities somehow along the way. “all the antis that send you hate doesn’t know you and no matter how cliché it is, they are just jealous because of your talent. annoyed that their words didn’t bring you down.” lightly there’s a thumb tracing the skin at the back of chanyeol’s hand. “but what if i end up hurting one of you? you’d leave me.” his voice cracks and it hurts so much to see jongin suffer under all of these insecurities coming from being under constant pressure of being the face of the group.
“jongin. look at me.” chanyeol says and he waits until he has eye contact with jongin before continuing, “we’ll never leave. i’ll never leave. you are a precious friend. someone that we all care for. someone that can brighten our days just as much as we can get annoyed at.” the flicker of hurt is back in jongin’s eyes at the last word. “and that’s alright. because we still love you even when you’re an annoying little shit.” he finishes. “do you promise that hyung? no matter how much i screw up that you’ll stay beside me?” and with another squeeze chanyeol nods and pulls jongin in for a hug.
how could any of them leave their precious little dancing machine alone?
please do leave a comment to tell me what you think.