the first real update in...234958 years
um...i'm supposed to do a real update...it's part of the deal...i havent updated in like a year...not alots been going on...i finished school...and by that i mean i went til the end of the year cuz if i didnt i'd be bored during the day...my school screwed me over...and i couldnt get my free college cuz they never told me i woulda had to take advanced placement classes...which if they told me i woulda been completely down for cuz free college would have been insane...after i found out they screwed me by not telling me this til the middle of my senior year i freaked out on my guidance counselor and pretty much shut down and stopped doing work and ended up failing english and anatomy and physiology...basically they screwed me over and then i screwed myself over...and at the end of the year i was pissed off at school i refused to do summer school...which was probably a mistake...so basically i'm 1.5 or so credits away from graduating and nothing i can do about it right now...i've been drinking alot...maybe i need to slow down alittle...i dont want it to become an everyday thing cuz i dont want it to ruin my life...i've been smoking too much cu zi'm always wicked stressed out these days cuz nothing seems to be going right...everything was great b4 i left for NY it was actually so good i really didnt want to go becuz i didnt want shit somehow get screwed up while i was away or have the shock of leaving and coming back and me being in a daze for alittle while to get in the way of bigger and better things but i went neways...and it was pretty relaxing...not having any obligations...hanging out with 3 of my favorite people in the world all week...it was all good...and then i came back...and everything went way downhill really fast...pretty much the only thing i value is my friendship with dani...and i dont even know where that stands i dont know who to believe...cuz either way i'm calling someone a liar...i know who i want to believe but i only want to believe that so me and dani can hoefully go back to being normal again...i miss her...sinse i've been home all we've done is fight so it feels like i havent really talked to her in like 12 days and it's just eating me up inside...speaking of home...my parents decided they dont want an unemployed high school drop out living under there roof so as of friday i'm being disowned and am homeless...i think i can be alright with being homeless if i know everythings ok with me and dani...cuz as long as me and her are alright i really dont have a care in the world...but when we're not alright i start to fall apart...this all just fucking sux...i wish i just stayed in new york...or i'm gonna wake up sometime soon and realize it was all just a horrible dream...but i know it's reality...and i hate it