Beh...
Well, things are looking up now... I STILL don't want to move, leaving it all behind. The loss of newer freinds is countered by the rediscovery of older ones... God damnit, that was refreshing. Nyssa, you have no clue how much it meant to me that we got to talk. That was a life-saving chat, in more than one way.
I guess I feel alright, although, I'm kind of pissed off at Malissa's mom in a major kind of way. She set a new house rule - that I, specifically myself, cannot be at the house past 11:00. It's kinda funny, she does this the very night I'm contemplating suicide and need to spend the night with a freind that works at the local hospital and knows how to help people in that kind of a situation. So in a way, I'm still majorly upset.
But I suppose that's to be expected - I've always preferred to feel depressed. I don't know why, being happy is easier to handle. But if I'm not upset about something, I usually want to be upset about something. It's wierd. Anyways, I'm ranting on about nothing. Peace.
I guess I feel alright, although, I'm kind of pissed off at Malissa's mom in a major kind of way. She set a new house rule - that I, specifically myself, cannot be at the house past 11:00. It's kinda funny, she does this the very night I'm contemplating suicide and need to spend the night with a freind that works at the local hospital and knows how to help people in that kind of a situation. So in a way, I'm still majorly upset.
But I suppose that's to be expected - I've always preferred to feel depressed. I don't know why, being happy is easier to handle. But if I'm not upset about something, I usually want to be upset about something. It's wierd. Anyways, I'm ranting on about nothing. Peace.