Why do I have new gray hairs?
Well, because Zeh went to a party last night...and couldn't get drunk. Let me give a breakdown of the evening.
5:30 pm Class ends. Hurrah, it's the weekend!
5:42 Arrive at the University Centre Apartment Complex. Get signed in by friend Devin. Friend Mike is along for the ride.
5:44 Leave gear in apartment. Stretch. Greet Sean, Adam, Mark.
5:47 Leave apartment, get in car, head to Pathmark to buy groceries for cooking.
6:35 Leave Pathmark, go to liquor store.
6:40 After much indecision, Mike, Dev, and Zeh decide to buy 24 pack of Hoegarden beer. Hmm. Also buy bottle of Aguarrdiente.
6:41 Attempt to purchase. We're not even drunk yet, and there is a trouble in coordination.
6:42 After much exasperation, Zeh buys booze with credit card. Dev and Mike give Zeh cash money. Finally.
6:53 Arrive back at apartment. Mike declares himself the Iron Chef. Zeh scoffs. Zeh becomes chef's assistant. Damn it, I cooked last week!
6:59 Zeh decides to skip aikido to continue cooking. Zeh distrusts people who are self-taught Japanese cooks in kitchens.
7:01 Trouble. Mike only cooks rice in rice cookers. Zeh takes over rice cooking.
7:02 More trouble. We lack sufficient pots and pans. Zeh scowls, as meal will be delayed.
7:25 Rice is all done, finally. Much improvisation, as Mike refused Hispanic style cooking. Insisted on spices.
7:26 Beers are opened. First round of night. Zeh thinks there may be hope after all.
8:32 Food's done! I think. Some concoction. A bit dry. Eh. It's not seafood, at least. Zeh eats.
8:45 Zeh is dragged on field trip to Walmart. Dev needs a plunger. Dev must watch what Dev eats, even if Dev is skinny white dude.
8:59 We return, triumphant. With a plunger. Mark has brought a female friend. Zeh is not impressed. Zeh is not dressed to impress, either.
9:05 Zeh is dressed to impress. Zeh feels like a Cuban. Zeh does not say anything about that, though, since friends are impressed at how slick looks when Zeh cleans up.
9:07 Zeh and Co go to Intrinsic Cafe. Company wants to go do hookah. Zeh is not impressed. Runs into friends at cafe. Hangs out with friends happily.
9:18 Adam gets bored of hookah. Comes out to main cafe. Challenges me to chess.
9:22 Mike comes out, invites Zeh to go do hookah. Zeh declines yet again. Mike goes back to hookah. Zeh resumes beat down of Adam.
9:26 Dev comes out from hookah. Getting irritated with Mark. Dev challenges winner of match.
9:27 Adam has been obliterated in chess. Zeh is gracious in victory, acknowledges Adam never had a chance.
9:28 Match begins between Zeh and Dev. Zeh has upper hand quickly.
9:34 Dev gets lucky. Mark comes out, asks us to go pick up another one of his friends, Danielle, from the apartment complex parking deck, bring her here.
9:52 We return with said friends. Zeh continues to decline hookah, chats with the cashier.
10:06 Adam is bored with hookah once again, comes out, asks Zeh to join conversation. Zeh agrees.
10:10 Zeh is quickly bored with said conversation. Invites Adam to tag along as Zeh wanders frat row.
10:15 Zeh quickly discovers that everyone is out tonight. Frat row only has three parties. All parties are packed.
10:16 Zeh talks with Kendall, a frat brother. Isn't really interested in getting in.
10:26 Zeh and Adam wander off, continue to inspect frat row.
10:27 Zeh spots a group of girls, wandering about. Zeh is intrigued.
10:28 Zeh goes up to the only guy in said group, smirks, and introduces self with all customary swagger and style.
10:29 Guy is surprised, shrugs, introduces himself as Alex.
10:30 Zeh dominates group attention, gets names of everyone, smiles, and continues to impress with wit and conversation.
10:32 Adam is in awe of skills. Zeh is holding three conversations at once.
10:33 Zeh brings group of new friends back to Intrinsic Cafe. Introduces to company of old friends.
10:34 Friends look upon Zeh as a god. Zeh shrugs off looks of shock, awe, and respect, introduces new friends to old ones.
10:35 Amalgamated decides to attempt to crash frat party. Zeh shrugs. This won't end well.
10:36 Zeh begins talking with pretty brunette and her chubby blonde friend. Sean had asked Zeh to make sure new friends like us, be willing to hang out now, and in the future. Zeh agrees.
10:37 New kids are impressed with the high intelligence of Zeh and Co. Excluding one moron. Name of moron rhymes with lark.
11:20 After much walking back and forth, Sean and Zeh advocate returning to apartment. Plan succeeds.
11:25 Group has been separated. Mark and part of group get into frat party. Zeh shakes head. Rest of group begin march back to apartment.
11:35 Group returns to apartment. We wait for everyone to catch up.
11:47 Rest of group arrives. Place was packed and not fun.
11:48 Everyone signed in. Too many people on elevator. Zeh, Mike, and pretty brunette and her blonde friend must go up stairs. Ten flights of stairs.
11:53 That was a very long walk.
11:54 Arrival. Pass around the booze!!!
11:55 Booze has been passed around.
12:15 am Zeh has had three beers.
12:20 Zeh is not buzzed. Downs shot of aguarrdiente. Aguarrdiente is a hit amongst the guys. Everyone likes the taste.
12:25 Zeh is still not buzzed. Another shot, resumes friendly conversations.
12:45 GOD DAMN IT ZEH IS STILL NOT BUZZED. Another shot! Must rectify!
1:00 After four beers, five shots of Aguarrdiente, nothing has happened to Zeh. Zeh is disappointed and sober. Cursed efficient liver.
1:06 Somehow, we decide to play video games. Genesis is busted out. Mortal Kombat all around.
1:07 Zeh realizes he is the last sober male. Converses with pretty brunette and her friend, who are also sober.
1:08 Sean takes pretty brunette's other blonde friend into his room. Closes door. Zeh curses. Does not wish to testify at trial.
1:09 Zeh continually interrupts. Sean makes out, nothing else. Sean remains grateful.
1:12 Moron is sleazeball. Adam disapproves. Zeh and Dev find out. Also disapprove. Moron decides smoke break is wise.
1:30 Zeh is a gentleman, takes all the girls back over to Rutgers dorm. Sean accompanies.
1:31 Zeh finds out that Moron said many not nice and disturbing things to girls. Zeh silently asks Lucifer to lend him a cauldron.
1:33 Girls are reassured, once again have good opinion of us in general.
1:35 Pretty brunette gets a kick out of me bending over each girl's hand and kissing it. Zeh does not ask for number, instead convinces her and her friends to come again next week.
1:36 Zeh is praised by Sean. Sean begins to plan shrine in Zeh's honor.
1:42 Zeh remains sober. Someone gets out rum and vodka. Zeh begins to perk up.
1:43 Zeh looks around. Zeh is the last sober man. Responsibility kicks in. Zeh curses liver again.
1:44 Zeh takes a shot of vodka, a few pineapple-rum mixed drinks, and a shot of slushie cranberry vodka.
2:15 Zeh remains sober. Zeh wonders if Zeh's liver hates him, or if it is the drinking gods.
2:16 There are still many people drinking and being drunk. Zeh is now the responsible one.
2:27 Danielle and Alex are missing. Zeh goes and finds them, drags them back.
3:00 After dealing with so many drunk people, preventing all sorts of things that would result in court appearances, and keeping people from throwing up, Zeh is tired.
3:01 Drunks call me the responsible one, offer much appreciation and thanks.
3:02 Drunks begin to pour out troubles to Zeh.
3:22 Zeh is ready to commit homicide. Damned drunks.
3:47 Zeh has already planned out, in detail, the murders of five drunks, and their bodily disposal.
4:00 Zeh declares it is bedtime.
4:01 Declaration is not met with enthusiasm.
4:02 Zeh bullies drunks to various places on floor for them to sleep. Zeh has claimed air mattress for himself.
4:15 Raving drunk prevents Zeh from falling asleep. Sean is obliged to keep an eye on Raving Drunk as RD uses toilet.
4:16 Zeh wonders how someone piss for over a minute.
4:17 Jesus H Christ, how much did this guy drink? He's STILL peeing!
4:18 Raving Drunk is finally done. Is sent back to living room to sleep.
4:42 Raving Drunk returns. Raving. Zeh is awaken. Glares in general direction of Sean. Tells Sean that he can handle this.
5:23 Raving Drunk awakens Zeh again. Zeh wonders which gods are making fun of him.
5:47 Last visit of Raving Drunk. Zeh is ready to break his skull open.
11:07 Zeh wakes up after long evening. Gets up, brushes teeth. Winces at sight of what he must clean up. Then pauses, shudders. This is going to happen all over again in seven days. God. Help. Me.
5:30 pm Class ends. Hurrah, it's the weekend!
5:42 Arrive at the University Centre Apartment Complex. Get signed in by friend Devin. Friend Mike is along for the ride.
5:44 Leave gear in apartment. Stretch. Greet Sean, Adam, Mark.
5:47 Leave apartment, get in car, head to Pathmark to buy groceries for cooking.
6:35 Leave Pathmark, go to liquor store.
6:40 After much indecision, Mike, Dev, and Zeh decide to buy 24 pack of Hoegarden beer. Hmm. Also buy bottle of Aguarrdiente.
6:41 Attempt to purchase. We're not even drunk yet, and there is a trouble in coordination.
6:42 After much exasperation, Zeh buys booze with credit card. Dev and Mike give Zeh cash money. Finally.
6:53 Arrive back at apartment. Mike declares himself the Iron Chef. Zeh scoffs. Zeh becomes chef's assistant. Damn it, I cooked last week!
6:59 Zeh decides to skip aikido to continue cooking. Zeh distrusts people who are self-taught Japanese cooks in kitchens.
7:01 Trouble. Mike only cooks rice in rice cookers. Zeh takes over rice cooking.
7:02 More trouble. We lack sufficient pots and pans. Zeh scowls, as meal will be delayed.
7:25 Rice is all done, finally. Much improvisation, as Mike refused Hispanic style cooking. Insisted on spices.
7:26 Beers are opened. First round of night. Zeh thinks there may be hope after all.
8:32 Food's done! I think. Some concoction. A bit dry. Eh. It's not seafood, at least. Zeh eats.
8:45 Zeh is dragged on field trip to Walmart. Dev needs a plunger. Dev must watch what Dev eats, even if Dev is skinny white dude.
8:59 We return, triumphant. With a plunger. Mark has brought a female friend. Zeh is not impressed. Zeh is not dressed to impress, either.
9:05 Zeh is dressed to impress. Zeh feels like a Cuban. Zeh does not say anything about that, though, since friends are impressed at how slick looks when Zeh cleans up.
9:07 Zeh and Co go to Intrinsic Cafe. Company wants to go do hookah. Zeh is not impressed. Runs into friends at cafe. Hangs out with friends happily.
9:18 Adam gets bored of hookah. Comes out to main cafe. Challenges me to chess.
9:22 Mike comes out, invites Zeh to go do hookah. Zeh declines yet again. Mike goes back to hookah. Zeh resumes beat down of Adam.
9:26 Dev comes out from hookah. Getting irritated with Mark. Dev challenges winner of match.
9:27 Adam has been obliterated in chess. Zeh is gracious in victory, acknowledges Adam never had a chance.
9:28 Match begins between Zeh and Dev. Zeh has upper hand quickly.
9:34 Dev gets lucky. Mark comes out, asks us to go pick up another one of his friends, Danielle, from the apartment complex parking deck, bring her here.
9:52 We return with said friends. Zeh continues to decline hookah, chats with the cashier.
10:06 Adam is bored with hookah once again, comes out, asks Zeh to join conversation. Zeh agrees.
10:10 Zeh is quickly bored with said conversation. Invites Adam to tag along as Zeh wanders frat row.
10:15 Zeh quickly discovers that everyone is out tonight. Frat row only has three parties. All parties are packed.
10:16 Zeh talks with Kendall, a frat brother. Isn't really interested in getting in.
10:26 Zeh and Adam wander off, continue to inspect frat row.
10:27 Zeh spots a group of girls, wandering about. Zeh is intrigued.
10:28 Zeh goes up to the only guy in said group, smirks, and introduces self with all customary swagger and style.
10:29 Guy is surprised, shrugs, introduces himself as Alex.
10:30 Zeh dominates group attention, gets names of everyone, smiles, and continues to impress with wit and conversation.
10:32 Adam is in awe of skills. Zeh is holding three conversations at once.
10:33 Zeh brings group of new friends back to Intrinsic Cafe. Introduces to company of old friends.
10:34 Friends look upon Zeh as a god. Zeh shrugs off looks of shock, awe, and respect, introduces new friends to old ones.
10:35 Amalgamated decides to attempt to crash frat party. Zeh shrugs. This won't end well.
10:36 Zeh begins talking with pretty brunette and her chubby blonde friend. Sean had asked Zeh to make sure new friends like us, be willing to hang out now, and in the future. Zeh agrees.
10:37 New kids are impressed with the high intelligence of Zeh and Co. Excluding one moron. Name of moron rhymes with lark.
11:20 After much walking back and forth, Sean and Zeh advocate returning to apartment. Plan succeeds.
11:25 Group has been separated. Mark and part of group get into frat party. Zeh shakes head. Rest of group begin march back to apartment.
11:35 Group returns to apartment. We wait for everyone to catch up.
11:47 Rest of group arrives. Place was packed and not fun.
11:48 Everyone signed in. Too many people on elevator. Zeh, Mike, and pretty brunette and her blonde friend must go up stairs. Ten flights of stairs.
11:53 That was a very long walk.
11:54 Arrival. Pass around the booze!!!
11:55 Booze has been passed around.
12:15 am Zeh has had three beers.
12:20 Zeh is not buzzed. Downs shot of aguarrdiente. Aguarrdiente is a hit amongst the guys. Everyone likes the taste.
12:25 Zeh is still not buzzed. Another shot, resumes friendly conversations.
12:45 GOD DAMN IT ZEH IS STILL NOT BUZZED. Another shot! Must rectify!
1:00 After four beers, five shots of Aguarrdiente, nothing has happened to Zeh. Zeh is disappointed and sober. Cursed efficient liver.
1:06 Somehow, we decide to play video games. Genesis is busted out. Mortal Kombat all around.
1:07 Zeh realizes he is the last sober male. Converses with pretty brunette and her friend, who are also sober.
1:08 Sean takes pretty brunette's other blonde friend into his room. Closes door. Zeh curses. Does not wish to testify at trial.
1:09 Zeh continually interrupts. Sean makes out, nothing else. Sean remains grateful.
1:12 Moron is sleazeball. Adam disapproves. Zeh and Dev find out. Also disapprove. Moron decides smoke break is wise.
1:30 Zeh is a gentleman, takes all the girls back over to Rutgers dorm. Sean accompanies.
1:31 Zeh finds out that Moron said many not nice and disturbing things to girls. Zeh silently asks Lucifer to lend him a cauldron.
1:33 Girls are reassured, once again have good opinion of us in general.
1:35 Pretty brunette gets a kick out of me bending over each girl's hand and kissing it. Zeh does not ask for number, instead convinces her and her friends to come again next week.
1:36 Zeh is praised by Sean. Sean begins to plan shrine in Zeh's honor.
1:42 Zeh remains sober. Someone gets out rum and vodka. Zeh begins to perk up.
1:43 Zeh looks around. Zeh is the last sober man. Responsibility kicks in. Zeh curses liver again.
1:44 Zeh takes a shot of vodka, a few pineapple-rum mixed drinks, and a shot of slushie cranberry vodka.
2:15 Zeh remains sober. Zeh wonders if Zeh's liver hates him, or if it is the drinking gods.
2:16 There are still many people drinking and being drunk. Zeh is now the responsible one.
2:27 Danielle and Alex are missing. Zeh goes and finds them, drags them back.
3:00 After dealing with so many drunk people, preventing all sorts of things that would result in court appearances, and keeping people from throwing up, Zeh is tired.
3:01 Drunks call me the responsible one, offer much appreciation and thanks.
3:02 Drunks begin to pour out troubles to Zeh.
3:22 Zeh is ready to commit homicide. Damned drunks.
3:47 Zeh has already planned out, in detail, the murders of five drunks, and their bodily disposal.
4:00 Zeh declares it is bedtime.
4:01 Declaration is not met with enthusiasm.
4:02 Zeh bullies drunks to various places on floor for them to sleep. Zeh has claimed air mattress for himself.
4:15 Raving drunk prevents Zeh from falling asleep. Sean is obliged to keep an eye on Raving Drunk as RD uses toilet.
4:16 Zeh wonders how someone piss for over a minute.
4:17 Jesus H Christ, how much did this guy drink? He's STILL peeing!
4:18 Raving Drunk is finally done. Is sent back to living room to sleep.
4:42 Raving Drunk returns. Raving. Zeh is awaken. Glares in general direction of Sean. Tells Sean that he can handle this.
5:23 Raving Drunk awakens Zeh again. Zeh wonders which gods are making fun of him.
5:47 Last visit of Raving Drunk. Zeh is ready to break his skull open.
11:07 Zeh wakes up after long evening. Gets up, brushes teeth. Winces at sight of what he must clean up. Then pauses, shudders. This is going to happen all over again in seven days. God. Help. Me.