Fanfic: The 4400, Home Coming.
Home Coming
Fandom: The 4400
Pairing: Slightly Jordan/Shawn.
Rating: PG-13. Or so.
Spoilers: Last episode of Season 2.
Warnings: Slightly slash.
Disclaimer: I don't own The 4400 or 14th Street by Rufus Wainwright. As far as I know, Cindy and Bobby don't actually exist, I just made them up, so I guess they belong to me.
Author's Note: This takes place a couple hours/days/whatever directly after the ending for 'Mommy's Bosses', and I wouldn't suggest reading it if you haven't seen that episode because this would make no sense, really. Anyway, I'm not sure how well choosing the second point of view is, but I think it works nicely.
I'm coming back home tomorrow,
To 14th street where I won't hurry.
And where I'll learn to save and not just borrow,
And they'll be rainbows and we will finally know.
- Rufus Wainwright, "14th Street."
"Hello, do you know who I am?"
This might seem like a strange question to ask some one. This is, in fact, not a strange question to ask some one when honestly you have no idea who you are. Although this is not strange to you, it is, however, very strange to whomever you are asking.
"Uh."
The female in front of you, though, obviously does not know who you are either because her mouth hangs open in surprise and she stares at you with wide eyes.
The man next to her stares at you, though, with a vague recognition in his eyes. He titles his head slightly up towards you, and somehow, now you notice you're taller than him. Red something-or-other drips from the cup in his hands and slides down his shirt, but he doesn't notice.
Not that you really were in the first place. Because there are much more important things to notice, such as your own identity.
"I think- Wait, but no, it can't be. But you do-"
The man pauses and looks over to the female, whom you suppose is his girlfriend, or in the very least an acquaintance.
"Cindy, doesn't that guy look like that Jordan guy to you?"
The female- Cindy, tilts her head up to look at you, her eyes widening even more and her mouth dropping slightly.
"He does, Bobby, but he can't be, can he?"
And then the man- Bobby, looks up towards you again while absentmindedly trying to wipe away the red that now stains his shirt.
Red- Something in your mind triggers and your lost inside something. Your memories, yes, that is where you are. There's red on some one's hands, a man, but who is it? It's darker than the red on Bobby's shirt, and you're staring up at that man who has red- blood on his hands.
You reach to touch him, but-
-It's gone, just as soon as it's started, and now Bobby and Cindy are staring at your worriedly, even though they don't actually know you. Which surprises you that they'd be interested in your well-being. The very fact that this surprises you also intrigues you, because why would you notice or care about something like that?
"Who is Jordan?"
They stare at you again, but this time deeper, a kind of stare that you know happens when some one asks what color the sky is or what comes before "B" in the alphabet.
"He's, uh... Well, he died," says Cindy in a soft, careful voice, and she almost reaches out to touch you, but stops, pulling her hand to her chest.
That man- Bobby, pulls an arm around Cindy, and you stare at them, trying to decide on whether to ask who Jordan is again, or to ask if you are Jordan.
But if this Jordan is dead, then you couldn't possibly be him, and so if you aren't this Jordan then who are you?
"Please, tell me, what happened to this Jordan? Just tell me anything."
Bobby stares at you with cool eyes, and you can see he's trying to decipher if you're a threat or not, while Cindy just stares at you more intently and with worry in her eyes.
"Bobby, maybe we should take him somewhere- A hospital at least, or maybe we should at least get him cleaned up first. I think he'd fit into some of your clothes-"
"Cindy," Bobby pauses, grasping her hand and moving her away from you, "We can't just take him somewhere. He could be dangerous-"
They continue talking, and you look around you, checking to make sure the sky is actually blue, and reciting the alphabet in your head. Currently you have no idea where these thoughts come from, but they seem correct when the sky does turn out to be blue and you find "A" comes before "B" in the alphabet.
You're still slightly confused when Cindy and Bobby come back closer to you, but it's not as if you couldn't hear them arguing, or in the very least talking about you.
"All right, mister," Bobby says, pulling Cindy closer to him, who kind of rolls her eyes at this, "Look, we'll take you home with us, and we'll get you cleaned up. But then we're taking you to the 4400 Center. It maybe not be a hospital, exactly, but with your resemblance... Well, I wouldn't count it out just yet."
Cindy nods at this, slowly untangling herself from Bobby, "Right, and if the 4400 Center doesn't work out, we'll take you to a hospital, all right? Now come on, Bobby and I have somewhere to be in a couple of hours, and by the looks of you, it's going to take that long-"
"Cindy," Bobby slightly whines, but Cindy brushes him off.
"After that, you're on your own, all right? I know you're... Well, everything is kind of messed up for you right now, but this is all we can do. That is, if it's all right with you."
You stare at them, letting their words sink in. All of them seem familiar, from the words hospital to the words 4400 Center, but you still don't know what either of these mean to you. Especially the word "4400 Center". However, you don't know who you are, and this is the best offer you've gotten so far.
Slowly, you nod at them, and Bobby guides you to their car and you drive off, taking an unknown destination for another.
As you stare at the trees that pass you by, your mind drifts back to the man you saw staring down at you, and the blood that was in his hands. That man, he looked so familiar, and it's obvious you knew him, but who was he? And how did he know you?
All this drifts away as green trees blur into blue sky and "A" turns slowly into "B". There are many question that circle in your mind, but right now it doesn't matter. All that matters is that this feels like something. Something that you can almost taste, or touch, but falls out of your grasp right before you reach it.
A smile slowly unfolds from your face as you realize just what this feels like, and you realize that this smile will go across your face again when you realize who you are.
This feels like destiny.
"Blue is a nice color on you," Cindy says, smiling at you with her face titled so that her hair doesn't fall into her eyes.
You smile at her kindly, because you know this is the polite thing to do in a situation like this with unfamiliar people. You don't know why it's the polite thing to do, or why something in the back of your mind nags you and tells you that you don't care about politeness. But you do know that you want to be polite, and currently this is the only thing that matters.
"I don't suppose you know how to shave, do you?" Bobby asks, taking a razor and scissors from a cabinet on the bathroom wall.
"I don't know," you say, staring curiously at the things in Bobby's hands, "I don't know if I remember, but I might if you showed me once."
Bobby rolls his eyes, but hands the razor and scissors to Cindy before he mutters something about "Getting everyone a drink." You have no idea if "Getting a drink" means an actual drink, like alcohol, or if he means "Getting a drink" like water. You also have no idea why you are thinking of this.
Cindy straightens, moving brown hair away from her face, "Don't worry about him, he's just grumpy because I like to do my part."
She laughs as you look at her quizzically when she says this, but she steps closer to your face, taking your chin into her hands.
"Now, stay still and watch the mirror while I do one part. I think you'll remember this, or get a hang of it once you see some one doing it once, all right?"
You almost nod at her, but then remember her words and stare intently at the mirror, waiting for her to start. Almost instantly you know and remember what "shaving" is, and you smile at her and take the razor from her hands once she's done shaving a part of your beard.
"Thank you," you whisper, and then go onto "shaving" all the while wondering if you're really doing this the correct way.
But once you're done she just smiles at you and calls Bobby back into the room. Once Bobby does get in the room, however, he stares at you for a second and then motions for Cindy to follow him into the living room. You, however, do not care about what they will argue or talk about, because for the first time you can actually see what your face looks like.
Vague recognition flashes across your eyes, and you stare at yourself in the slightly dirty bathroom mirror.
"So, this is who I am?" you half-whisper, half-ask as you reach out to touch the mirror in front of you.
Again, you are assaulted by what must be your memories, and suddenly you're in a tall room, that's not quite lit from any lamps. You feel yourself moving and your mouth opens and closes, but the words don't resound in your mind, and everything moves considerably slowly. Which is a good thing for you, you realize.
The man is there again, this time, and even though last time he looked sad to see you, now he looks angry and you want so badly to make him smile. But instead you reach out to touch him, and you grasp his cheek with your hand, your mouth opens and-
"I think you must be him."
Somehow in the span of reliving the memory you have moved into the car and are now wearing dark brown pants with a dark blue top.
"I must be who?" you ask, and something in your mind nags you again that you sound far too innocent.
"Jordan," Bobby says, not staring at you, but looking across the rode to spot if anyone's coming, "So, we're going to take you to the 4400 Center. It'll be the best place for you, I'm sure of it."
At that your mind drifts back to the feeling of destiny, and you can't help but smile again as you realize you are closer to finding out who you are than you have been since you- Since whenever you realized that you could exist, that you do exist, and that you are existing.
"How far is it?"
That seems like such a strange question to ask, but you ignore it, and ignore the nagging part of your mind, and wait for the words you know will come from either Bobby or Cindy.
"We're only ten minutes away," Cindy smiles a little to brightly, and you realize now that these people are afraid of you.
You know that they're actually taking you to the Center, though. Something about the way you're going feels familiar to you, and you know that even though the people are afraid of you, they're still going to do what's "right" to some extent.
Your stomach tightens as you think of the word "right" and you know instantly, again, that you are not always a person who does what is "right", or even cares about what is "right".
You'd think more over the subject, but the black of the road slowly turns into grey as you watch Bobby driving.
You know you'll be there soon, and for the first time since you can remember, you feel like you're coming home.
When you arrive there, at the Center, your mind is having small explosions throughout it, and at almost every point, before even walking out of the car, your mind is screaming out "Look, I know that!" and "Look, I know that."
Bobby opens the door for you, and Cindy walks out, her purse resting on her shoulder, and you step out slowly and cautiously.
While something about this place is familiar to you and almost shouts out "Welcome home!" there is another part that's screaming out "Danger, danger, Will Robinson." You have no idea who Will Robinson is, or how he relates to you, but you pretty much get the whole "Danger, danger," part.
Bobby and Cindy both lead you to the entrance of the Center, and you can't help but notice as they almost twitch with nervousness. You try to ignore it, though, as Bobby opens the door to the Center, and Cindy enters before you, then you after her.
Bobby enters directly after you, and you can see Cindy visibly jump at the sound of the door closing, and if your mind wasn't so interested in taking all the details into it, you wouldn't have even heard the door closing.
"Hello, would you like-"
The person holding out a pad stops in front of you, and her eyes widen just as Cindy's had, and Cindy and Bobby both take a step back and then move closer to the door.
The person holding the pad, or the person who was, screams and you watch her eyes blink rapidly. You think that maybe if you knew who she was, or who you were, you might care more that she looked ready to faint. All that you notice now is that her scream has brought a lot of attention to yourself, Bobby, and Cindy. And the woman who had been holding the pad.
It takes approximately 4.3 seconds to realize that the attention will probably be unwanted.
"Uh, we just found him, we're going to-"
"Go," Cindy finishes for Bobby and the both of them practically run out of there, and something in your mind laughs out, "And that was the last we saw of them."
"Madison, what is-"
The man in front of you- Suddenly memories hit you, left and right, and while they're only brief ones, you now know more about yourself than you have in the last- Well, since you knew everything about existence and that you were alive and breathing. And existing.
"Jordan?" The man in front of you, who has been the man in front of you in all of your memories, voice cracks and you can see tears starting to make their way out of his eyes.
You smile slowly at him, and this time you care about whether or not that he's going to faint. You catch him as he falls, and this time he's looking up at you and touches your face.
Whatever had happened to you, to you and him, whatever will happen to the both of you, you know that this is your home coming.
And that he is your home.
There might be more that you need to know, and in fact, there probably is more that you need to know. But you know enough about yourself now, and you know enough to know that he is enough for you. And that no matter what happens, what will happen, and what has happened, that the both of you will always be.
Maybe "be" is not be the right word, but this is your home coming, and he is your home, and you have no need for anything else.
And you smile as he smiles up at you, because you realize he knows this now too.
Because this is destiny, even if you might have not believed in that before, and even if you never knew it before now, this is your home coming, and he will always be your home.
Fandom: The 4400
Pairing: Slightly Jordan/Shawn.
Rating: PG-13. Or so.
Spoilers: Last episode of Season 2.
Warnings: Slightly slash.
Disclaimer: I don't own The 4400 or 14th Street by Rufus Wainwright. As far as I know, Cindy and Bobby don't actually exist, I just made them up, so I guess they belong to me.
Author's Note: This takes place a couple hours/days/whatever directly after the ending for 'Mommy's Bosses', and I wouldn't suggest reading it if you haven't seen that episode because this would make no sense, really. Anyway, I'm not sure how well choosing the second point of view is, but I think it works nicely.
I'm coming back home tomorrow,
To 14th street where I won't hurry.
And where I'll learn to save and not just borrow,
And they'll be rainbows and we will finally know.
- Rufus Wainwright, "14th Street."
"Hello, do you know who I am?"
This might seem like a strange question to ask some one. This is, in fact, not a strange question to ask some one when honestly you have no idea who you are. Although this is not strange to you, it is, however, very strange to whomever you are asking.
"Uh."
The female in front of you, though, obviously does not know who you are either because her mouth hangs open in surprise and she stares at you with wide eyes.
The man next to her stares at you, though, with a vague recognition in his eyes. He titles his head slightly up towards you, and somehow, now you notice you're taller than him. Red something-or-other drips from the cup in his hands and slides down his shirt, but he doesn't notice.
Not that you really were in the first place. Because there are much more important things to notice, such as your own identity.
"I think- Wait, but no, it can't be. But you do-"
The man pauses and looks over to the female, whom you suppose is his girlfriend, or in the very least an acquaintance.
"Cindy, doesn't that guy look like that Jordan guy to you?"
The female- Cindy, tilts her head up to look at you, her eyes widening even more and her mouth dropping slightly.
"He does, Bobby, but he can't be, can he?"
And then the man- Bobby, looks up towards you again while absentmindedly trying to wipe away the red that now stains his shirt.
Red- Something in your mind triggers and your lost inside something. Your memories, yes, that is where you are. There's red on some one's hands, a man, but who is it? It's darker than the red on Bobby's shirt, and you're staring up at that man who has red- blood on his hands.
You reach to touch him, but-
-It's gone, just as soon as it's started, and now Bobby and Cindy are staring at your worriedly, even though they don't actually know you. Which surprises you that they'd be interested in your well-being. The very fact that this surprises you also intrigues you, because why would you notice or care about something like that?
"Who is Jordan?"
They stare at you again, but this time deeper, a kind of stare that you know happens when some one asks what color the sky is or what comes before "B" in the alphabet.
"He's, uh... Well, he died," says Cindy in a soft, careful voice, and she almost reaches out to touch you, but stops, pulling her hand to her chest.
That man- Bobby, pulls an arm around Cindy, and you stare at them, trying to decide on whether to ask who Jordan is again, or to ask if you are Jordan.
But if this Jordan is dead, then you couldn't possibly be him, and so if you aren't this Jordan then who are you?
"Please, tell me, what happened to this Jordan? Just tell me anything."
Bobby stares at you with cool eyes, and you can see he's trying to decipher if you're a threat or not, while Cindy just stares at you more intently and with worry in her eyes.
"Bobby, maybe we should take him somewhere- A hospital at least, or maybe we should at least get him cleaned up first. I think he'd fit into some of your clothes-"
"Cindy," Bobby pauses, grasping her hand and moving her away from you, "We can't just take him somewhere. He could be dangerous-"
They continue talking, and you look around you, checking to make sure the sky is actually blue, and reciting the alphabet in your head. Currently you have no idea where these thoughts come from, but they seem correct when the sky does turn out to be blue and you find "A" comes before "B" in the alphabet.
You're still slightly confused when Cindy and Bobby come back closer to you, but it's not as if you couldn't hear them arguing, or in the very least talking about you.
"All right, mister," Bobby says, pulling Cindy closer to him, who kind of rolls her eyes at this, "Look, we'll take you home with us, and we'll get you cleaned up. But then we're taking you to the 4400 Center. It maybe not be a hospital, exactly, but with your resemblance... Well, I wouldn't count it out just yet."
Cindy nods at this, slowly untangling herself from Bobby, "Right, and if the 4400 Center doesn't work out, we'll take you to a hospital, all right? Now come on, Bobby and I have somewhere to be in a couple of hours, and by the looks of you, it's going to take that long-"
"Cindy," Bobby slightly whines, but Cindy brushes him off.
"After that, you're on your own, all right? I know you're... Well, everything is kind of messed up for you right now, but this is all we can do. That is, if it's all right with you."
You stare at them, letting their words sink in. All of them seem familiar, from the words hospital to the words 4400 Center, but you still don't know what either of these mean to you. Especially the word "4400 Center". However, you don't know who you are, and this is the best offer you've gotten so far.
Slowly, you nod at them, and Bobby guides you to their car and you drive off, taking an unknown destination for another.
As you stare at the trees that pass you by, your mind drifts back to the man you saw staring down at you, and the blood that was in his hands. That man, he looked so familiar, and it's obvious you knew him, but who was he? And how did he know you?
All this drifts away as green trees blur into blue sky and "A" turns slowly into "B". There are many question that circle in your mind, but right now it doesn't matter. All that matters is that this feels like something. Something that you can almost taste, or touch, but falls out of your grasp right before you reach it.
A smile slowly unfolds from your face as you realize just what this feels like, and you realize that this smile will go across your face again when you realize who you are.
This feels like destiny.
"Blue is a nice color on you," Cindy says, smiling at you with her face titled so that her hair doesn't fall into her eyes.
You smile at her kindly, because you know this is the polite thing to do in a situation like this with unfamiliar people. You don't know why it's the polite thing to do, or why something in the back of your mind nags you and tells you that you don't care about politeness. But you do know that you want to be polite, and currently this is the only thing that matters.
"I don't suppose you know how to shave, do you?" Bobby asks, taking a razor and scissors from a cabinet on the bathroom wall.
"I don't know," you say, staring curiously at the things in Bobby's hands, "I don't know if I remember, but I might if you showed me once."
Bobby rolls his eyes, but hands the razor and scissors to Cindy before he mutters something about "Getting everyone a drink." You have no idea if "Getting a drink" means an actual drink, like alcohol, or if he means "Getting a drink" like water. You also have no idea why you are thinking of this.
Cindy straightens, moving brown hair away from her face, "Don't worry about him, he's just grumpy because I like to do my part."
She laughs as you look at her quizzically when she says this, but she steps closer to your face, taking your chin into her hands.
"Now, stay still and watch the mirror while I do one part. I think you'll remember this, or get a hang of it once you see some one doing it once, all right?"
You almost nod at her, but then remember her words and stare intently at the mirror, waiting for her to start. Almost instantly you know and remember what "shaving" is, and you smile at her and take the razor from her hands once she's done shaving a part of your beard.
"Thank you," you whisper, and then go onto "shaving" all the while wondering if you're really doing this the correct way.
But once you're done she just smiles at you and calls Bobby back into the room. Once Bobby does get in the room, however, he stares at you for a second and then motions for Cindy to follow him into the living room. You, however, do not care about what they will argue or talk about, because for the first time you can actually see what your face looks like.
Vague recognition flashes across your eyes, and you stare at yourself in the slightly dirty bathroom mirror.
"So, this is who I am?" you half-whisper, half-ask as you reach out to touch the mirror in front of you.
Again, you are assaulted by what must be your memories, and suddenly you're in a tall room, that's not quite lit from any lamps. You feel yourself moving and your mouth opens and closes, but the words don't resound in your mind, and everything moves considerably slowly. Which is a good thing for you, you realize.
The man is there again, this time, and even though last time he looked sad to see you, now he looks angry and you want so badly to make him smile. But instead you reach out to touch him, and you grasp his cheek with your hand, your mouth opens and-
"I think you must be him."
Somehow in the span of reliving the memory you have moved into the car and are now wearing dark brown pants with a dark blue top.
"I must be who?" you ask, and something in your mind nags you again that you sound far too innocent.
"Jordan," Bobby says, not staring at you, but looking across the rode to spot if anyone's coming, "So, we're going to take you to the 4400 Center. It'll be the best place for you, I'm sure of it."
At that your mind drifts back to the feeling of destiny, and you can't help but smile again as you realize you are closer to finding out who you are than you have been since you- Since whenever you realized that you could exist, that you do exist, and that you are existing.
"How far is it?"
That seems like such a strange question to ask, but you ignore it, and ignore the nagging part of your mind, and wait for the words you know will come from either Bobby or Cindy.
"We're only ten minutes away," Cindy smiles a little to brightly, and you realize now that these people are afraid of you.
You know that they're actually taking you to the Center, though. Something about the way you're going feels familiar to you, and you know that even though the people are afraid of you, they're still going to do what's "right" to some extent.
Your stomach tightens as you think of the word "right" and you know instantly, again, that you are not always a person who does what is "right", or even cares about what is "right".
You'd think more over the subject, but the black of the road slowly turns into grey as you watch Bobby driving.
You know you'll be there soon, and for the first time since you can remember, you feel like you're coming home.
When you arrive there, at the Center, your mind is having small explosions throughout it, and at almost every point, before even walking out of the car, your mind is screaming out "Look, I know that!" and "Look, I know that."
Bobby opens the door for you, and Cindy walks out, her purse resting on her shoulder, and you step out slowly and cautiously.
While something about this place is familiar to you and almost shouts out "Welcome home!" there is another part that's screaming out "Danger, danger, Will Robinson." You have no idea who Will Robinson is, or how he relates to you, but you pretty much get the whole "Danger, danger," part.
Bobby and Cindy both lead you to the entrance of the Center, and you can't help but notice as they almost twitch with nervousness. You try to ignore it, though, as Bobby opens the door to the Center, and Cindy enters before you, then you after her.
Bobby enters directly after you, and you can see Cindy visibly jump at the sound of the door closing, and if your mind wasn't so interested in taking all the details into it, you wouldn't have even heard the door closing.
"Hello, would you like-"
The person holding out a pad stops in front of you, and her eyes widen just as Cindy's had, and Cindy and Bobby both take a step back and then move closer to the door.
The person holding the pad, or the person who was, screams and you watch her eyes blink rapidly. You think that maybe if you knew who she was, or who you were, you might care more that she looked ready to faint. All that you notice now is that her scream has brought a lot of attention to yourself, Bobby, and Cindy. And the woman who had been holding the pad.
It takes approximately 4.3 seconds to realize that the attention will probably be unwanted.
"Uh, we just found him, we're going to-"
"Go," Cindy finishes for Bobby and the both of them practically run out of there, and something in your mind laughs out, "And that was the last we saw of them."
"Madison, what is-"
The man in front of you- Suddenly memories hit you, left and right, and while they're only brief ones, you now know more about yourself than you have in the last- Well, since you knew everything about existence and that you were alive and breathing. And existing.
"Jordan?" The man in front of you, who has been the man in front of you in all of your memories, voice cracks and you can see tears starting to make their way out of his eyes.
You smile slowly at him, and this time you care about whether or not that he's going to faint. You catch him as he falls, and this time he's looking up at you and touches your face.
Whatever had happened to you, to you and him, whatever will happen to the both of you, you know that this is your home coming.
And that he is your home.
There might be more that you need to know, and in fact, there probably is more that you need to know. But you know enough about yourself now, and you know enough to know that he is enough for you. And that no matter what happens, what will happen, and what has happened, that the both of you will always be.
Maybe "be" is not be the right word, but this is your home coming, and he is your home, and you have no need for anything else.
And you smile as he smiles up at you, because you realize he knows this now too.
Because this is destiny, even if you might have not believed in that before, and even if you never knew it before now, this is your home coming, and he will always be your home.