Fanvid: Supernatural, Run Me Out.

[kaiyote]

Run Me Out
Vidder: kaiyote
Fandom: Supernatural
Song: Run Me Out by Zola Jesus
Characters/Pairings: Castiel + Dean, Sam.
Rating: PG.
Spoilers: Up to 10x22.
Warnings: None.
Summary: "Your problems always come first." A critical look at Cas's relationship with the Winchesters.

Comments

[dustlines]

I can't express to you the excitement I felt when I saw this post on my feed. You are honestly my favorite SPN vid-maker, and have been for a while. You create emotional resonance with an intensity that seems ludicrously difficult to present, and yet present it you do, and you make it seem effortless. I particularly love how your focus is more on contrasting moments edited beautifully to stand beside each other, rather than over-saturating your videos with special effects.

Though my reputation in the SPN fandom has always skewed towards the DeanCas side of things, it would be a mistake to pretend everything you have shown here is not an incredibly important, true, and valid aspect of Castiel's relationship with not just Dean, but the Winchesters (honorary or otherwise) in general. Castiel's needs are very often disregarded in favor of what others think of as the bigger picture, even if that's just their beliefs about what the bigger picture might be. Though this is so unhealthy and has effectively put Castiel into a position of feeling like he must be useful to the goals of others in order for them to still consider his presence worthwhile, Castiel seems sadly resigned to it, and so it is no wonder his self-worth is so toxically low.

I do think that it's only a very recent development that any of the Winchesters have begun to truly become aware of how messed up Castiel's mental state is, largely because of such a long history of dismissal and lukewarm support (if any support at all) during very difficult times, and so they have started to treat him with more tact and care. It's definitely not a full and complete turnaround at this point, however, though it is a step in the right direction. Still, the effects on Castiel's psyche from everything that came before are obviously lingering, and understandably so. He has a lot of good reasons to be in pain -- in addition to every event and every battle and every violation he has endured without being appropriately cared for both during and afterwards, he hasn't had much time to gather his bearings and get the chance to adequately address any of it. After all, it's easy to think one doesn't deserve the time to care for one's self (or to be cared for) when previous experiences have consistently not allowed for it, or even -- much worse -- outright denied the need for it.

Videos like this one are so important to the narrative of Supernatural because they show how damaging the Winchesters can be, most of the time without realizing they're doing so, and even -- if not ESPECIALLY -- towards those who they claim to care for the most. They are heroes and they do important things, yes, yet how many fall by the wayside because of them? So many, and in so many different forms. Castiel is as close to a best friend as Sam or Dean have probably ever had, and yet they have both had a woefully inept history of treating him accordingly. I maintain that they're getting better and a lot more self-aware lately, and I hope they continue to improve, but the thing about unhealthy relationships is that the damage they've caused usually doesn't have a chance at truly healing until the guilty parties have begun to openly acknowledge what they've caused (or, sometimes, simply failed to tend to during a time of need), and though Castiel seems supernaturally (*COUGHS*) willing to forgive the Winchesters' often callous treatment of him, that doesn't mean that behavior shouldn't still be rectified and acknowledged for what it is: something unacceptable.

I'm not claiming Castiel can't handle a lot, either. But the point stands that he shouldn't have to, not when he is among friends. Friends should treat a person (or, in this case, an angel) kindly. Often, Castiel has not experienced their friendship this way. And it really has taken ages for them to start noticing the effect this has had on him, or perhaps simply to realize how humanly he responds to ill treatment, which is to say that it does effect him, and quite deeply, too.

In short, your video inspires many thoughts, and it is appreciated. Thank you for sharing!!