it hurts.
it's like there's something dead inside me.
he called me a bunch of times last night. the messages on my voicemail were absolute shit.
i guess our 1o month relationship means nothing. the trust i showed him were in no way reciprocated. he tells me that he believes this person who sent him this email. obviously i'm that kind of person. i enjoy walking all over someone.
i can't stop wanting to cry. he called me and told me i was a bitch. a lying whore. all i ever wanted to do was love him and push him to succeed. how am i wrong in this? how does this make me a horrible person. i'm still so very much in love with him.
he called me crazy. told me he could never ever date me again because i'm wacked out. i don't understand what i did wrong? i didn't DO anything wrong.
i just want to die.
he assumes that i'm going to go out there and hook up with ian. all i'm doing is getting away from everything. i want to go to something i don't know, just to have a week of something new. i want away from this place, away from the hurt.
i just want to stop hurting inside.
this stress of everything from my car, to my bills, to the kids, plus this situation with christopher. i promised him nothing would happen between ian and i. but of course he doesn't believe me.
i'm a broken person.
my mom wants me to see about a restraining order or possibly blocking him from calling us. she doesn't think he should continue to communicate with me.
i'm considering dropping all ties to anything that would permit me to see/hear/read anything involving christopher. that means deleting most of my messageboard profiles. maybe that would be a good thing for me.
he kept saying how he wished we could have been friends.
i can't be friends with someone who accuses me of things i never did.
i feel sick.
i want to feel numb. anything but this.
i can't take this anymore.
i can't keep hurting.
he called me a bunch of times last night. the messages on my voicemail were absolute shit.
i guess our 1o month relationship means nothing. the trust i showed him were in no way reciprocated. he tells me that he believes this person who sent him this email. obviously i'm that kind of person. i enjoy walking all over someone.
i can't stop wanting to cry. he called me and told me i was a bitch. a lying whore. all i ever wanted to do was love him and push him to succeed. how am i wrong in this? how does this make me a horrible person. i'm still so very much in love with him.
he called me crazy. told me he could never ever date me again because i'm wacked out. i don't understand what i did wrong? i didn't DO anything wrong.
i just want to die.
he assumes that i'm going to go out there and hook up with ian. all i'm doing is getting away from everything. i want to go to something i don't know, just to have a week of something new. i want away from this place, away from the hurt.
i just want to stop hurting inside.
this stress of everything from my car, to my bills, to the kids, plus this situation with christopher. i promised him nothing would happen between ian and i. but of course he doesn't believe me.
i'm a broken person.
my mom wants me to see about a restraining order or possibly blocking him from calling us. she doesn't think he should continue to communicate with me.
i'm considering dropping all ties to anything that would permit me to see/hear/read anything involving christopher. that means deleting most of my messageboard profiles. maybe that would be a good thing for me.
he kept saying how he wished we could have been friends.
i can't be friends with someone who accuses me of things i never did.
i feel sick.
i want to feel numb. anything but this.
i can't take this anymore.
i can't keep hurting.