Hoo'd Win! It's Ladies Night, and the Feeling's Right!
The greatest thing about the internet is it has taken the normally diffuse nerd community and brought it together to give it things to bitch about.
For example, somewhere on the intertubes someone did a list of "tough women" (INSERT SEXIST JOKE HERE, am I right, fellas?), and of course feelings were bruised. How dare Character A rate higher than Character B! This is an mockery! A mockery!
Two of the sterling members of that list were Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer and Ellen Ripley, Xenomorph avoider.
It seems a shame to make them fight. They have so much in common! Ripley’s foes are phallic xenomorphs from the deepest subconscious of a mad Swiss, while Buffy’s are dramatic incarnations of the various trauma of the young adult world.
They’ve both got strange maternal issues, with Ripley upon being informed her daughter has died of old age glomming onto the first traumatized pre-teen she chances upon. Buffy found herself in the unwanted role of den mother to a sprawling army of teen proto-slayers.
They both find their only stable romantic relationships in the arms of strong military men, but both lose them, whether through screenwriter dickishness chance or their own stupidity.
They've both died in climactic scenes by going for a slo-mo high dive. A nine from the Russian judge!
And they’ve both been in lousy movies written by Joss Whedon.
But, in the end, there’s no room for tea and biscuits here in Hoo’d Win. No, there is only blood and honour. Who shall it be? Whose rage burns hotter? Whose limbs are mightier?
You! Make! The! Call!
Poll Hoo'd Win: This Ain't No Wet T-Shirt Contest!
For example, somewhere on the intertubes someone did a list of "tough women" (INSERT SEXIST JOKE HERE, am I right, fellas?), and of course feelings were bruised. How dare Character A rate higher than Character B! This is an mockery! A mockery!
Two of the sterling members of that list were Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer and Ellen Ripley, Xenomorph avoider.
It seems a shame to make them fight. They have so much in common! Ripley’s foes are phallic xenomorphs from the deepest subconscious of a mad Swiss, while Buffy’s are dramatic incarnations of the various trauma of the young adult world.
They’ve both got strange maternal issues, with Ripley upon being informed her daughter has died of old age glomming onto the first traumatized pre-teen she chances upon. Buffy found herself in the unwanted role of den mother to a sprawling army of teen proto-slayers.
They both find their only stable romantic relationships in the arms of strong military men, but both lose them, whether through screenwriter dickishness chance or their own stupidity.
They've both died in climactic scenes by going for a slo-mo high dive. A nine from the Russian judge!
And they’ve both been in lousy movies written by Joss Whedon.
But, in the end, there’s no room for tea and biscuits here in Hoo’d Win. No, there is only blood and honour. Who shall it be? Whose rage burns hotter? Whose limbs are mightier?
You! Make! The! Call!
Poll Hoo'd Win: This Ain't No Wet T-Shirt Contest!