Special High Intensity Training
Hehehe. I just found this thing I wrote down a long time ago. I don't remember who showed it to me, but it's funny!
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give our employees more SHIT than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see your manager. You will be placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.
Employees who don't take their SHIT will be placed in the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (DEEPSHIT). Those who fail to take DEEPSHIT seriously will be required to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATSHIT).
Since our managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they don't have to do SHIT anymore, as they are full of SHIT already.
If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULLSHIT). Those who are full of BULLSHIT will get the SHIT jobs, and can apply for promotion to the Director of Intensity Program (DIPSHIT).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Optimization Training (HOTSHIT).
Thank you,
Boss In General
(BIGSHIT)
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give our employees more SHIT than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see your manager. You will be placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.
Employees who don't take their SHIT will be placed in the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (DEEPSHIT). Those who fail to take DEEPSHIT seriously will be required to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATSHIT).
Since our managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they don't have to do SHIT anymore, as they are full of SHIT already.
If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULLSHIT). Those who are full of BULLSHIT will get the SHIT jobs, and can apply for promotion to the Director of Intensity Program (DIPSHIT).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Optimization Training (HOTSHIT).
Thank you,
Boss In General
(BIGSHIT)