(no subject)
"after everything you've put me through"... wow i dont ever want to hear those words again. That's quite an awful way of stating that a relationship should continue. That doesn't make sence. But I'll tell you this much it's awful thing to hear espcially when you know youve done all that you can and given up so much, when you empty your pockets every week and have no change left to buy yourself dinner. After spending hours on your computer making pictures, and recording songs day after day. After staying up late to get work done cause you couldnt do it earlier cause talking on the phone was more important. After coming home weekends and going to plays and stopping by school just to say "hi", even sending a present to school on a special day when I couldn't be around, I'll tell you it's a pretty awful thing to hear. Espcially after a year of just looking for the same appriciate that you give. Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect though I'd like to think that. I just feel like I've put forth much more of any effort that meets the eye, much more than whats being accounted for. I don't know maybe I am wrong and have been all along but what does that make of all the time I've put in? It just doesn't add up the way I wish it would. Maybe that's the way the cookie crumbles and this is all my fault, I just can't possibly see how that could be true, maybe I'm blind. Leagally I am, but lovingly? It's like one of those puzzles where some of the pieces dont fit and youve lost the border or even the picture that allows you to see what its supposed to look like as a whole. Love, life, it's all a gamble to a degree, you put in a 100 dollars and you get out nothing but then some people only put in 1 and win a jackpot. The question is when should you stop betting and if you become addicting how can you stop? It really doesnt seem like this should be true but somehow, in one way or another, there are parts with truth and other's without it, if only there were a way to find the difference in the too, like I said Its just one big puzzle, maybe it has no solution it just is.