(no subject)
we just hit a bird. there was a peace corps regional meeting at the beach in bilene and on the ride back to xai-xai the chapa drove into a bird. the motorista stopped the car. the cobrador got out of the car, peeled the bird off the windshield, got back into the car and put the bird in his bag. you know, for dinner. eipa moçambique.
the meeting was mostly fun and usefully. i'm on a crazy antibiotics regiment because of all the sick i have inside me right now (after the malaria incident, i got strept throat) so i couldn't drink, which was a bit tough. since these meetings are basically a PC sanctioned drink fest. the weather was on the crap side for most of the weekend, so we only got to go swimming yesterday. but still, fun time had by all. the 'PreService Training' (PST) planning council was able to get together, and we figured out the training schedule for the next group. MOZ 11 will be here one month to the day. very exciting. since there are so few bio teachers, a lot of us have to come down for 2 weeks. i'll be there the first week the new trainies get in. which should be really fun for me. 55 freaking out kids that don't speak portugues yet, have no idea what this whole game is about, missing their families, and asking me 8 million questions. i'm stoked. but luckily the other week i'm coming down (since i'm on the planning council and basically could schedule what i wanted) will be stellar. most of my friends from training went up north, and i haven't seen them since decemeber. so i made us all be down there the same week. it's great, the week before site visit, and the week before halloween. so kris and i will go down for that week, hang out with the our friends, then instead of going back to malehice afterwards, we're gonna go up to inhambane because some of the volunteers up ther are having an "estou a pedir" party. "i am asking for". we're gonna go around i'bane city and ask people for candy and other assorted goodies. dressed, of course, like pirates. well, at least kris and i will be.
*Warning, crude language to follow*
i started the reproductive unit before we left for the regional meeting. for my introduction to the unti, i had them come to class with a list of calão (slang words) that they associate with sex, reproduction and all of that fun stuff. then during class i broke them up into groups, gave them each a word (penís, vagina, ejaculação, menstruação, etc) and had them first describe in their own words what the term ment, then to list the slang. after they each presented, which was a shit show, but i had fun. i figured, might as well get all that stuff otu of the way in the first class, let them laugh about it all, then let them know that they can't use those words for the rest of the unit. they know suprisingly (er, well, maybe not so suprisingly) little about what's goin' on "down there" *SLANG*. some of the responses were absolutley priceless though (the original português, for you volunteers, and the tranlsations, for you that don't speaky the port):
O Penís
Most of them were along the lines of:
O penís serve para fudir, mijar e sai espermatizoides. (calão: fuder e mijar. depois de hoje, vocês não podem usar fudir ou mijar. são relações sexuais e urinar)
The penis serves to fuck, piss and exit sperm. (slang: fuck and piss. after today you can't use fuck or piss, it's sexual relations and urinate)
Os Testículos
Os testículos servem para disparar
The testicles serve to shoot.
A Ejaculação
Serve para defender o penís
Ejaculation serves to defend the penis
A Vagina
Most were along the lines of
Serve para dar filhos, fudir, tirar mistruação, e mijar
Serves to give children, fuck, take out mentstration (they all used a made up word of that sort for menstration) and piss.
I usually follwed this word up witha few questions:
We just did the excretory system, didn't we? yes teacher.
Did I say anything about the vagina during this unit? No teacher.
Então, lesson #1, women don't pee out the vagina.
Os Ovários
É o lugar onde fica o bebé durante o seu parto
Is the place where the baby stays during it's birth.
A Menstruação
Serve para lavar o estômago
Serves to clean the stomache
A Mastubação
Significa mexer órgãos da reprodução masculino ou feminino até que sai spermo
Means to move the male or female rep. organs until the sperm (not how you say sperm) leaves.
O Sexo
Fodem-se muito a vagina é grande, a vagina sai lagrimas. O penís entra na vagina. A mulher abri as pernas até chamar nhadare.
They fuck a lot the vagina is big, the vagina exits tears. The penis enteres the vagina. The women opens her legs until to call *soem word in changana that they wouldn't explain*.
É o elemento fundamental dos direitos humanos.
Is a fundamental human right.
A Reprodução
A pessoa apanhar gravidez através das relações sexuais. Uma pessoa apanhar gravidez com 12 anos.
A person gets pregnant after sexual relations. A person gets pregnant at 12 years old.
And our personal favorite:
Gravidez aparece através de relações sexuais. O penís fude a vagina até o homem ficar nervoso e depois sai o espermatozoide. Reprodução é muito impotante para vida do homem é através da reprodução que junta o homem e a mulher viver-se na mesma casa.
Pregnancy appears after sexual relations. The penis fucks the vagina until the man becomes nervous and after sperm leaves. Reproduction is very important for the life of man, and after reproduction joins the man and woman to live in the same house
You have no idea how many times the phrase "ficar nervoso" was used this weekend.
I hope you enjoyed that. Looks like I have my work cut out for me the next few weeks. These were the funniest and yet most accurate ones, most of them were either wrong wrong wrong or they handed me back a blank sheet. In a few classes I asked if sex was always penis entering the vagina, cause i couldn't decide it i wanted to talk about all of what sex emcompasses, or just the bang bang get preggies kind. most of them said yes. but in one class a kid said yes, and another kid turned around and so very seriously said, "It's 2 PEOPLE that have sexual relations". I was so happy i almost cried. But decided that it would be to fustrating and disapointing to try and address all of what sex means in the classroom, and i'll tackle that topic outside the sala de aulas.
Oh, about the slang, most of it was in changana. i told them they could use either language, since chances are if they're talking about this stuff, it's not in português. so now i can say "good morning", "how are you", "i want to buy tomatoes" and "the penis fucks the vagina" in changana.
the meeting was mostly fun and usefully. i'm on a crazy antibiotics regiment because of all the sick i have inside me right now (after the malaria incident, i got strept throat) so i couldn't drink, which was a bit tough. since these meetings are basically a PC sanctioned drink fest. the weather was on the crap side for most of the weekend, so we only got to go swimming yesterday. but still, fun time had by all. the 'PreService Training' (PST) planning council was able to get together, and we figured out the training schedule for the next group. MOZ 11 will be here one month to the day. very exciting. since there are so few bio teachers, a lot of us have to come down for 2 weeks. i'll be there the first week the new trainies get in. which should be really fun for me. 55 freaking out kids that don't speak portugues yet, have no idea what this whole game is about, missing their families, and asking me 8 million questions. i'm stoked. but luckily the other week i'm coming down (since i'm on the planning council and basically could schedule what i wanted) will be stellar. most of my friends from training went up north, and i haven't seen them since decemeber. so i made us all be down there the same week. it's great, the week before site visit, and the week before halloween. so kris and i will go down for that week, hang out with the our friends, then instead of going back to malehice afterwards, we're gonna go up to inhambane because some of the volunteers up ther are having an "estou a pedir" party. "i am asking for". we're gonna go around i'bane city and ask people for candy and other assorted goodies. dressed, of course, like pirates. well, at least kris and i will be.
*Warning, crude language to follow*
i started the reproductive unit before we left for the regional meeting. for my introduction to the unti, i had them come to class with a list of calão (slang words) that they associate with sex, reproduction and all of that fun stuff. then during class i broke them up into groups, gave them each a word (penís, vagina, ejaculação, menstruação, etc) and had them first describe in their own words what the term ment, then to list the slang. after they each presented, which was a shit show, but i had fun. i figured, might as well get all that stuff otu of the way in the first class, let them laugh about it all, then let them know that they can't use those words for the rest of the unit. they know suprisingly (er, well, maybe not so suprisingly) little about what's goin' on "down there" *SLANG*. some of the responses were absolutley priceless though (the original português, for you volunteers, and the tranlsations, for you that don't speaky the port):
O Penís
Most of them were along the lines of:
O penís serve para fudir, mijar e sai espermatizoides. (calão: fuder e mijar. depois de hoje, vocês não podem usar fudir ou mijar. são relações sexuais e urinar)
The penis serves to fuck, piss and exit sperm. (slang: fuck and piss. after today you can't use fuck or piss, it's sexual relations and urinate)
Os Testículos
Os testículos servem para disparar
The testicles serve to shoot.
A Ejaculação
Serve para defender o penís
Ejaculation serves to defend the penis
A Vagina
Most were along the lines of
Serve para dar filhos, fudir, tirar mistruação, e mijar
Serves to give children, fuck, take out mentstration (they all used a made up word of that sort for menstration) and piss.
I usually follwed this word up witha few questions:
We just did the excretory system, didn't we? yes teacher.
Did I say anything about the vagina during this unit? No teacher.
Então, lesson #1, women don't pee out the vagina.
Os Ovários
É o lugar onde fica o bebé durante o seu parto
Is the place where the baby stays during it's birth.
A Menstruação
Serve para lavar o estômago
Serves to clean the stomache
A Mastubação
Significa mexer órgãos da reprodução masculino ou feminino até que sai spermo
Means to move the male or female rep. organs until the sperm (not how you say sperm) leaves.
O Sexo
Fodem-se muito a vagina é grande, a vagina sai lagrimas. O penís entra na vagina. A mulher abri as pernas até chamar nhadare.
They fuck a lot the vagina is big, the vagina exits tears. The penis enteres the vagina. The women opens her legs until to call *soem word in changana that they wouldn't explain*.
É o elemento fundamental dos direitos humanos.
Is a fundamental human right.
A Reprodução
A pessoa apanhar gravidez através das relações sexuais. Uma pessoa apanhar gravidez com 12 anos.
A person gets pregnant after sexual relations. A person gets pregnant at 12 years old.
And our personal favorite:
Gravidez aparece através de relações sexuais. O penís fude a vagina até o homem ficar nervoso e depois sai o espermatozoide. Reprodução é muito impotante para vida do homem é através da reprodução que junta o homem e a mulher viver-se na mesma casa.
Pregnancy appears after sexual relations. The penis fucks the vagina until the man becomes nervous and after sperm leaves. Reproduction is very important for the life of man, and after reproduction joins the man and woman to live in the same house
You have no idea how many times the phrase "ficar nervoso" was used this weekend.
I hope you enjoyed that. Looks like I have my work cut out for me the next few weeks. These were the funniest and yet most accurate ones, most of them were either wrong wrong wrong or they handed me back a blank sheet. In a few classes I asked if sex was always penis entering the vagina, cause i couldn't decide it i wanted to talk about all of what sex emcompasses, or just the bang bang get preggies kind. most of them said yes. but in one class a kid said yes, and another kid turned around and so very seriously said, "It's 2 PEOPLE that have sexual relations". I was so happy i almost cried. But decided that it would be to fustrating and disapointing to try and address all of what sex means in the classroom, and i'll tackle that topic outside the sala de aulas.
Oh, about the slang, most of it was in changana. i told them they could use either language, since chances are if they're talking about this stuff, it's not in português. so now i can say "good morning", "how are you", "i want to buy tomatoes" and "the penis fucks the vagina" in changana.