another lost friend...
hey guys...today is off to the worst start...i signed up for 15 credits of bad classes but there was nuttin left...i'm gonna hav a manic tuesday from now on...worst of all, just got off the phone with someone i regarded as a best friend, but this person was put in a situation that it was me or her bf, or in other words no male friends...i thought we were cooler than that, i thought we were tighter than that...i'm sick of this feeling of emptiness, as though i can never hav sumthin good in this world, it all turns to shit for me...always...i cant take this anymore, isnt anyone as cool or as genuine as i am, i hav my friends back's to the end...but they never seem to have mine...never...i personally dont want another friend or best friend...fuck people...they suck the best of me and giv me shit in return...i'm just gonna take care of myself cuz no one else seems to giv a fuck...i feel like finding the next person i see and puttin an asswhoopin on them...i'm gonna change...i think i know what my fault is...its gonna change...everyone will notice it, some people may want me back afterwards, but they can all fuck themselves...i'm doin this for me and no one else...i dont care anymore...caring leads to hurt and i dont wanna hurt...i've never wronged any friend, never left their sides, never forgot about them...yet they seem to be different towards me, could it be my judgement of friends, i mean everyone needs to tell someone somethings...for advice or just to talk about it...looks like its just another heartbreak for me, what can i say, it aint the 1st...never trust anyone, cuz they cant be counted on...when shit hits the fan, they are not there...nobody but maybe family...thats it...no one cares, they just want something from u...thats the only reason their friends...to get something from u...and once they got it its all over...like that...people are assholes, i'd love to be different but then i'd be the guy that gets fucked everytime...fuck that...its time to do some fuckin myself...i dont care about any friends anymore...the world sucks right now...give me a helmet coach i'm ready to kill someone...i need to find an outlet for this feeling i hav inside...change is imminent...u'll all notice...