The ending of an chapter....beggining of a new...I think
I think tonight is the ending of a chapter in my life. Some point in the future I wanted to get back with Kelly. As everyday comes and goes I dont want that anymore. I asked her to do three simple things and in return she asked me to do the same things in return. No fooling around, no drinking, and being open about everything. Since the day we came up with with those three simple things I have followed all of them. But for her....none of them. She had asked me to cute little things like send her texts and I have and she doesnt even reply to them anymore. Is it really worth trying anymore. Why should I have to all this stuff and her not do any of it...and shes the one who cheated on me. I dont get it. She says she wants me back....but does she just say that to keep me giving her the attention shes so deperatly needs. I thaught those three easy requests would be easy to follow....for me they were, but I guess they werent. Last night I told her to forget it and do whatever she wanted to do....and she said that shed follow them for awile but shed probably wont. She says that she wants to get back together....but in the mean time mess around with guys and putting her life in danger with drinking. So far she has shown no effort into getting back together....which by the way she wanted to over christmas break so badly last week....but this week wont even give me the time of the day. She wants me to put in the effort to try and get back together, and I have....but I havent seen any from her and I dont think I will. With that said I think I have come to the conclusion that we wont get back together. She go mess around with all the guys she wants too....I hope she doesnt get any diseases though. She can go drink whatever she wants...I pry she doesnt have a seizure or worse....and she can tell all the lies she wants cause I wont be hurt by them anymore. I want to start dateing again....24 hours ago I wanted to date kelly agian, but not anymore. That really hurt to say cause a piece of my heart says she be the girl that you loved....and that little piece also says "I love you" at the end of every conversation we have....good, bad, or indifferent. That little piece will always be there as long as I shall live. With that being said....and for the sole reason that she cant get three simple things into her head...I want to date. Not just a few here and there. I think I want to get into a serious relationship again. Im just waiting for that one special person to walk into my life....and who knows...she could be right in front of me. I think thats enough ranting for one night...