Direct stream from my sleep-deprived brain
I've decided that I'm going to keep my livejournal posts pretty loose and unedited from now on, so that means run-ons, poor syntax, etc. Not that I've ever really been too attentive with my livejournal entries before, but LET IT BE KNOWN. I'm using looser brushstrokes.
Speaking of brushstrokes I started painting again, so that's probably a good sign. It's watercolors which I've always had trouble with but I don't really have a space here where I can get messy with oils, although that's what I'm really longing to do. It's easy to tighten up and get too technical with watercolors, I like the bigger arm movements and sort of frenzy that goes into oils. BLAH.
I think I'm finally starting to find balance and peace. It's been a rough road. I've always had trouble letting go, and sometimes it's all too easy to let the angry voices take over. But no matter how powerless I feel, I know that it's a choice to walk towards the light or not, so there's beauty in that alone.
I'm sad because a huge warehouse of one-dollar books here is going out of business in a few days. I'm going to go tomorrow and buy up as many paperbacks as I can carry. I mean, a dollar a book? Who can beat it. You have to sift through a lot of random shit like 1970s astrology or what have you but sometimes you'll come across some real gems, like Gary Snyder, Mary Oliver, etc.
My bro and I are making some progress with recording. We had the drums professionally recorded before our drummer shipped off to boot camp, and it makes it a hell of a lot easier, because our garage was never equipped to record drums well. Having that as a foundation really opens things up. I'm also trying to get into the geekier side of the recording process, as in mixing and guitar tone. Just from what I've observed, it seems like mixing is sort of a male-dominated area of expertise? I've really never known a girl besides Tank who mixed things, and she only BARELY dabbled in the hardcore EQ stuff. I think a lot of girls stay away from amps/electric guitars for that reason, not because they're scared to rock but because it's hard to get a decent sound out of an amp and all those knobs can be scary at first. And sadly I think girls are still pushed towards playing acoustic, as much as Joan Jett and Nancy Wilson changed things in that department.
Also the Brushfires project is getting to be more of a grungy, L.A. punk sort of thing, sort of a dirtier garage sound, like the Replacements meets Heart with a little bit of Husker Du/Ramones thrown in. I like the direction we're headed, because the world really is a messed up place and I don't think I can make happy offbeat indie music. It feels better to express something real even if it's anger. I think if I had to represent something as an artist it would be that--EARNESTNESS, true emotion, all that.
Now it's nearly 4 a.m. here and I am WIRED. Because I had espresso with dinner. I bet the sun's just touching the East Coast now. And I'm way out here in Southern California, trying to learn to love the hard blue skies and arid hills and desert flowers, when what I really want is humidity, a landscape swollen with that heat, rolling thunderstorms at night and sunny next-mornings, blue cornflowers by the road and oak trees climbing the sky. You can't have everything. And I have a lot here. I'm going to be okay.
Speaking of brushstrokes I started painting again, so that's probably a good sign. It's watercolors which I've always had trouble with but I don't really have a space here where I can get messy with oils, although that's what I'm really longing to do. It's easy to tighten up and get too technical with watercolors, I like the bigger arm movements and sort of frenzy that goes into oils. BLAH.
I think I'm finally starting to find balance and peace. It's been a rough road. I've always had trouble letting go, and sometimes it's all too easy to let the angry voices take over. But no matter how powerless I feel, I know that it's a choice to walk towards the light or not, so there's beauty in that alone.
I'm sad because a huge warehouse of one-dollar books here is going out of business in a few days. I'm going to go tomorrow and buy up as many paperbacks as I can carry. I mean, a dollar a book? Who can beat it. You have to sift through a lot of random shit like 1970s astrology or what have you but sometimes you'll come across some real gems, like Gary Snyder, Mary Oliver, etc.
My bro and I are making some progress with recording. We had the drums professionally recorded before our drummer shipped off to boot camp, and it makes it a hell of a lot easier, because our garage was never equipped to record drums well. Having that as a foundation really opens things up. I'm also trying to get into the geekier side of the recording process, as in mixing and guitar tone. Just from what I've observed, it seems like mixing is sort of a male-dominated area of expertise? I've really never known a girl besides Tank who mixed things, and she only BARELY dabbled in the hardcore EQ stuff. I think a lot of girls stay away from amps/electric guitars for that reason, not because they're scared to rock but because it's hard to get a decent sound out of an amp and all those knobs can be scary at first. And sadly I think girls are still pushed towards playing acoustic, as much as Joan Jett and Nancy Wilson changed things in that department.
Also the Brushfires project is getting to be more of a grungy, L.A. punk sort of thing, sort of a dirtier garage sound, like the Replacements meets Heart with a little bit of Husker Du/Ramones thrown in. I like the direction we're headed, because the world really is a messed up place and I don't think I can make happy offbeat indie music. It feels better to express something real even if it's anger. I think if I had to represent something as an artist it would be that--EARNESTNESS, true emotion, all that.
Now it's nearly 4 a.m. here and I am WIRED. Because I had espresso with dinner. I bet the sun's just touching the East Coast now. And I'm way out here in Southern California, trying to learn to love the hard blue skies and arid hills and desert flowers, when what I really want is humidity, a landscape swollen with that heat, rolling thunderstorms at night and sunny next-mornings, blue cornflowers by the road and oak trees climbing the sky. You can't have everything. And I have a lot here. I'm going to be okay.