October 17th, 1964. 24 Chapel Street, London.

[mr_b_epstein]

Mummy had suggested rather vaguely that I should have a house of my own in London, and the idea had been nagging at me for several weeks. I might have lost all interest in it, but after the incident with George and John, I just...I just needed to be away from the possibility of being walked in on by them. The idea of being away from George carried

Comments

[johnlennon1964]

Brian had asked me to come along with him and look at one of the houses he had picked out. I was skeptical at first, our last meeting hadn't gone well at all. I figured he wouldn't want anything to do with me after the way I had acted that night. George and I had gotten high and had raided his apartment and had a made a total mess of things. Maybe he was willing to forgive me though? I wasn't so sure but I was trying to hold on to the smallest linger of hope. He confused me so much sometimes so I tried to not think about it too much.

We finally made it to the house and I followed him in. I glanced around the doorway area and smiled. It seemed pretty nice actually. Brian had always had good taste though so I assumed as much. "Its nice, Brian. From what I can tell at least." I gave him a reassuring nod.

[mr_b_epstein]

"I haven't seen much of it myself. Ken Patridge gave me the blueprints, but I can't make sense of them, really."

We'd both been careful not to mention the last time I'd seen him. Or at least, I had. John probably either didn't remember it, or didn't think it important enough to bring up.

[johnlennon1964]

I nodded. I was eager to see the rest of it. "Come on then, show me around." I nudged his arm as I started walking farther into the house.

I hoped things wouldn't be awkward between us. We hadn't even talked about the apartment incident. I had felt bad about what happened, but hadn't been ready to apologize. I wasn't quite sure how I'd go about doing it anyways.

[mr_b_epstein]

I chuckled as he took off. Apparently, John would be guiding the tour, though I couldn't imagine why that would surprise me. He barely took direction from me in a managerial sense, so I could hardly expect him to listen to me when it came to matters not pertaining to the group.

"It's a good house, I think." I said, more to myself than him. "Private, at the least."

Finally, I could indulge in rent boys late at night without that nosy elderly couple in the flat across from mine peeking out their door disapprovingly and clucking their tongues at me, or whoever I'd ordered.

[johnlennon1964]

I snickered slightly as I glanced down the hall area that we had just walked through. I wasn't sure why I had found what he had said funny. "Yeah, looks pretty good to me so far."

I stopped and turned around to face him. "How about you just sort of lead the way, yeah? I don't know where I'm going exactly."

[mr_b_epstein]

Well...that was unexpected. Maybe he was trying to make amends for pouring milk and cornflakes all over my kitchen last time we saw each other.

"Honestly, I know just as much about this place as you do...Ken and I hadn't done a formal walk-through. I just haven't had the time."

I moved past him, and the hall opened into a bright little kitchen. I rubbed my hand over the counter, chuckling quietly at the irony. Of all the places to end up...

[johnlennon1964]

I followed him into the kitchen and suddenly the incident that happened a couple of weeks ago came flashing back to me. Not that I had forgotten it. I shook my head and let out a soft laugh. I was almost positive he was thinking about the same thing as me. We hadn't talked about it, I hadn't really held a conversation with him since.

"Its quite funny actually. I do remember making a mess of your kitchen not too long ago. How odd is it that this is the first room we ended up in?"

Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up, but someone had to break the tension.

[mr_b_epstein]

I forced a laugh, remembering quite well that he had neither apologized, nor reacted with much concern that I could see. But then, this was John, and I should know better by now than to search for things like that.

"Odd indeed. Although there's no milk or cornflakes about, luckily, so I think we shall be saved a bit of trouble."

[johnlennon1964]

My eyes scanned the room as I tried to search for something to say. "True." Was all I managed. I wanted to somehow tell him I was sorry for what had happened, but I just wasn't sure how to do it. It wasn't like me to just come right out and apologize. Sure, it had been an accident but it was in the past now. So why had I brought it up?

[mr_b_epstein]

There was a short silence, and I made a show of opening and closing the cupboards, examining the sink and stove. As if I'd be spending much time using them...I snorted at the idea.

"Well...I suppose I should thank the pair of you for doing that." I said slowly. "It's partially why I finally decided to start looking for a house of my own."

I winced at the way that sounded, but one of us had to break the silence, and it was the first thing that popped into my head.

[johnlennon1964]

I made a face at his words. Just what did he mean by that? Was that the reason he was moving out? If so, that was just ridiculous. I wanted to say something smart to him but knew it wouldn't help anything.

"You don't need to thank us. We just really didn't know what we were doing. I don't know about George, but I certainly didn't." I sighed.

[mr_b_epstein]

"There were other factors involved, of course...mostly a need for my own space, some privacy..." I shrugged. "Or perhaps I was simply bored with my flat, I don't know exactly which."

Or I was running away from the entire situation with George. Not that I'd ever admit that to John.

[johnlennon1964]

"Brian, you don't really have to tell me why you're moving." I leaned up against the counter and crossed my arms. I gave him a stern look before continuing. "Just don't hold a fucking grudge against me because I messed up your kitchen."

Okay, so maybe I took it a little too far just then.

[mr_b_epstein]

He thought I was upset with him over that? Well...it hadn't helped, really. But that was not the main issue, not that he knew it.

"It wasn't just the kitchen, John." I snapped. "There were other reasons I was upset."

I...shouldn't have said that. Now he was going to want to know why. I bit my lip. I hoped he'd simply assume I was talking about my issues with George and leave it at that.

[johnlennon1964]

"There were other reasons I was upset."

Of course there were more reasons. It was always that way with him. He was so complicated sometimes. "What other reasons?" I snapped back.

I figured it had something to do with George, but I wanted to know for sure. He probably didn't want to talk about it. I knew I was being too pushy, but I couldn't help it.

[mr_b_epstein]

And now he was angry, or at least irritated. I crossed my arms.

"Various reasons, none of which would interest you, John." I said coldly.

What a way to break in this house. I was having an arguement with John Lennon in my kitchen, and I hadn't even bought the place yer.