On a serious note.

Oct 28, 2005 22:39



I am always bored and alone at nights because I have school. Some of my friends are not like they used to be and I just miss the way we wouldn't fight. My mom was really tired last week and we got in a huge fight and it is really sad not because we got in a fight but ever since the beginning of summer me and my mom became really good friends and we never fought ever. She says things she doesnt mean when she is mad and I know she doesnt but still it sucks because I realllllly love my mom. I just want to wake up at three in Jon's bed and it being really hot and sunny and we knew we could just waste our day and it was such bliss. I am scared of loosing everything I live for. Mostly having the greatest time with the greatest people to me, I don't want to grow up and forget. I JUST AM SO MAD I mean think about it do you remember your life five years ago, even just last year. When I look back I just realize how stupid I was. I don't want that to happen to this part of my life. I HATE that everyone says "Hey Barham, it was nice meeting you. Everyone said you were really mean and your myspace is pretty harsh." I hate how I get phone calls from random people from myspace. I hate how most of the time I hook up with someone its all thanks to myspace. It's so stupid. My friend Sean said "Dude your life is myspace." I wanted to kill myself because I know thats what he really thinks. I want one thing right now. A girl, not a girlfriend. I want to have someone to talk to and sleep with and kiss when I am drunk and become good friends with and then maybe we will date. I want a girl who isnt into myspace at all, because I feel like people agree with me and don't get mad at me and just let me off so easily because of this stupid myspace. Girls tell me I am the boy of their dreams and that they just wish they could be with me when they don't even know me.

AND WHAT IS BOTHERING ME THE MOST RIGHT NOW IS:

"I LOVE YOU" it is soo meaningless.
I want it to be like in movies when it's so hard for guys to say because it is such a strong emotion.
WE ARE KILLING IT, do me a favor and stop saying it online and to your bf/gf you've been dating for a week.

This is for all of you who are self conscious:
1. Stop caring so much.
2. PLEASE do what you want to do. (dress, talk, everything)
3. Don't look at people and wish you were them.
4. If you think you are too fat, or bad looking. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
-You do not have to be happy with what you look like.
-You can always eat better, you can always work out, you can change what you don't like with dedication.
5. 2nd most important thing, PLEASE STOP BEING STUPID. Stop complaining. Stop stop stop.
6. Most important thing. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. ok.

I just want on for a long time about what I am thinking right now. There are a bunch of different topics sorry, I get sidetracked.
If you read all of it, hahaha thanks..
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