do you remember the end? [2/5]

[lababoreine]

Two

two.

The best part of every mission is always going back home. Baekhyun sighs in relief when he spots Chanyeol by the entrance gate of their hideout, a smile spreading through the lanky boy's face.

"Got us some good stuff, huh?" He asks, leaning himself down to get on the height of the car window, and Minseok stops the car.

Jongdae laughs from his seat, rolling his eyes, "only two packs. You'll have to fight for it with Zitao."

"That brat can try," the man laughs, patting the car while Minseok drives by him, getting inside the courtyard. Baekhyun sticks his head outside, and the old factory welcomes him with its gloomy appearance. Baekhyun has grown to like it, though. One year inside those walls, protected from the cold and the outside danger, has made him thankful for it. The walls are all rusty, and the dusty snow piling up on the courtyard only makes the whole place look even more hostile, but Baekhyun knows better. Somehow he grew to see that place as home.

Minseok parks in their usual spot and Baekhyun jumps out of the car to help them unpack. The car is this wretched, broken thing that cracks and whines with every movement they make and only Minseok's mechanic skills manage to keep it alive. The man pats it lovingly, even smiling a little at it.

"You did a good job, Rose," he whispers and Baekhyun snorts.

"Does Lu Han know of your thing with Rose?” He asks, smirking like a little shit. Minseok is ready to kick his shins for laughing at his romance with his own car, when he looks back abruptly, and Baekhyun follows his gaze. Kris is approaching them, wearing dark pants and a loose, worn out gray sweater. His hair is messy and dry, the dark roots contrasting against the blond hair. Somehow Baekhyun thinks he looks quite attractive like that, but Baekhyun always had a thing for a good hot mess. Their leader smiles to Minseok.

"I take everything went well?" he asks, looking around them, checking each face. Minseok nods.

"We took everything from the list. Baek found this old storage, it was completely intact, I can't even believe it. No fatalities. No wounds. No problems. Almost a fairy tale,” he laughs, “We found an elderly couple hiding in a house nearby, though."

"You helped them?" Kris asks, and Minseok nods.

"We gave them some food, and I showed them some streets and places I know are clear. Told them if they decided to stay there near the storage, we'd help them out whenever we could."

"Good," Kris tells him, patting Minseok's shoulder, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the two of them.

"What's the use of wasting food with dead meat?" He asks, and Jongdae looks at him with wide eyes, exclaiming a high-pitched Baekhyun. "What? I don't want to sound insensitive, but if you're not going to really help them, then what's the point of giving them hope if they're all going to die in the end?"

Kris smiles a little at what he said, crossing his arms above his chest. "And what do you mean by really help them?"

"Getting them here. Finding them some real shelter," he smirks, "I got you all figured out, you only really help those who will be useful to you!"

"That served you and your friends quite well when you needed me, didn't it?" Kris hisses and Jongdae whispers an "ouch", hitting Baekhyun's arm. The man only laughs, though, and Kris smiles at him, before getting his attention back to Minseok.

"It has been one year with absolutely nothing, Kris. This is unsettling me."

"Hey!" Baekhyun whines, slapping Minseok’s head lightly. "Don't spoil it with your big mouth."

Kris smiles, crossing his arms above his chest. "Maybe we're on a good luck spree, Minseok. Don't think much out of it."

"The gas is running out, though," Minseok adds, and Kris nods, "There's just a little left in our source. I don't know if we'll fill the tanks of all cars and-"

The two of them walk away, leaving the rest of the heavy work for Baekhyun and Jongdae since Kyungsoo and Yixing are already long gone. His friend looks at him, a small smile playing on his lips, an expression Baekhyun knows quite well.

“Don’t!” He warns, picking up one of the boxes that is filled with canned food and water bottles.

"So," Jongdae starts anyway, "since when are you and Kris flirting like that?"

Baekhyun wheezes, throwing his head back as he laughs. He had never thought of whatever he and Kris have as flirting, but it's not like he opposes the idea. It has been a whole year since they met, and Kris is still a mystery for him. They never talked all that much, but Baekhyun feels like he can trust the man. He feels comfortable around him, even though neither of them know anything about whom they used to be back when things were normal. But Baekhyun kind of likes that, though. The idea of being completely reborn, as if this is the only life they ever had, and the person he is now is the only person he ever was. It hurts less than reminiscing all the time.

"We don't flirt," Baekhyun replies, placing the last box on the floor. "It's just. Friendly banter, I guess."

"Baekhyun." Jongdae starts calmly, "I've been your friend since you decided you prefer bananas in your fruit salad rather than peaches, I know your flirting face."

"I don't have a flirting face," Baekhyun retorts, and Jongdae starts to imitate that smug face Baekhyun knows he does whenever he is trying to play cool. He punches Jongdae's left arm, and the boy laughs at him. “Stop it!”

"I think he is into you," Jongdae tells him, and Baekhyun can't help but smile to himself, "he always finds little excuses to talk to you, and there was that time you entered one of the meetings late and he kept staring at you like, I could swear he was imagining you stripping for him right on top of that table-"

"You’re sick!" Baekhyun cuts him off, laughing. “I don’t know, I don't think he sees me like that.”

"If you say so. But what about you, do you like him?" His friend asks, and Baekhyun bites his lips. This whole talk is making him feel like he’s in college again, talking about crushes and possible one night stands. Liking someone is something Baekhyun hasn’t thought about in ages.

"I don’t like- Why do you have to use such strong words? It’s more like... I'm interested if he's willing, I guess?"

Jongdae cackles. "This is funny. If this was still the old world, I'd never thought you'd fall for his type. He seems a little... too cold for you.”

Baekhyun purses his mouth, tilting his head while he leans against the car's door. He hears a loud laughter and he looks at the source, finding Minseok, Lu Han and Kris talking. Lu Han has his arms around Minseok's waist, and his head buried on the nape of his neck, and Kris seems to be laughing at something Minseok just said, large hands trying to cover his gummy smile. Baekhyun smiles a little.

"He isn't cold," he says after a while, "He’s just… He’s nice."

“He’s nice,” Jongdae echoes in a sugar-coated-dreamy tone, and Baekhyun throws a bunch of snow at him. “That’s toxic, asshole!” His friend whines, laughing.

“Let’s stop with this talk and get back to work,” Baekhyun tells him, picking up one box to take to the storage room. He sure is going to scream at Chanyeol to help them out when he finds him because it’s just ridiculous that they leave all the heavy work for the two of them. “You’re making me feel weird.”

“Weird how?”

“You know. It feels too normal. And that’s weird.”

Jongdae smiles quietly at himself, picking one box too. He heaves a deep sigh.

“This is our normal now, Baekhyun,” he tells him, and Baekhyun doesn’t want to hear it. “When are you going to accept that?”

÷

Baekhyun is ready to go to sleep when he spots Kris going up the stairs to the second floor. He stops for a while, watching as the man climbs the stairs, a sniper rifle on his hands. For some reason, Jongdae’s words choose to echo in his mind right on that moment, and Baekhyun catches himself wondering about them. It has been quite some time since the last time he had sex, or any involvement with anyone. It was way before the end of the world, with some guy named Jaejung, that liked him far too much, and Baekhyun doesn’t quite know how to deal with people who like him too much. And with everything that had happened, getting involved with anyone had been the last of Baekhyun's concerns when his top priority became surviving. Of course, there used to be nights that made him feel a little too cold when he noticed the way Joonmyun was cradling Jongdae in his arms while all Baekhyun had was his stinky clothes and the cold hard floor.

But ever since he joined the group, things had become a little more comfortable, and sometimes Baekhyun caught his long forgotten body functions coming back to him. He doesn't know if any of his gang mates have the same taste as himself - except for the two established couples, everyone else seems to be on their own. There aren't any women with them, though, and Baekhyun is pretty sure none of them went as low as forcing their way with any girl they may have found along the way. So if they have any other way of releasing their sexual frustrations, they sure know how to keep a low profile.

Things only started to get out of his control when Baekhyun started to feel things, though. He had started to stare way too hard at the line of Jongin's back when he was helping Minseok with the cars, sweat dripping down his nape and his jaw. He had started to notice the way Zitao's arm muscles flexed whenever he loaded his gun, the way Kyungsoo had an extremely pretty smile, and the line of Yixing's broad shoulders. For fuck's sake, one day he caught himself staring at Joonmyun's ass and he felt like such a dick he gave half of his meal to Jongdae.

But if Baekhyun had to pick the one person that really attracted him, it'd be Kris. He doesn't even know what it is that attracts him so much. Just as Jongdae said, if the world was still normal, Baekhyun doubts he'd be all that attracted to him. Of course, Kris is good looking. Extremely good looking. But Baekhyun had always been more into the easy going kind of guys. Kris is a little too stiff for Baekhyun's taste, and he'd see that as annoying in anyone else, but in their leader it's somehow part of his charm.

"I'm going mad," he mumbles to himself as he run to his room to pick up a wine bottle he and Jongdae found back in their mission, and that Baekhyun ended up managing to get it only for himself (by trading the two packs of cigarettes with Chanyeol, and lying to poor Zitao there was none left). With the wine on his hands, Baekhyun climbs the stairs to the second floor. The place is abandoned, they don't use it for anything because they fear the ground would crash. But the ones in charge of the night patrol always stays up there. There are lots of holes in the walls that give them a good clear view of the gates and fences, and it's better than stay out in the open.

Kris is leaning against a wall that's halfway crashed, next to a broken window. The whole second floor is filled with holes and cracks as if they were starting to demolish the building but then forgot to finish the job. Baekhyun looks around. Minseok is by the other side of the balcony, taking care of the south area. He walks towards Kris with slow steps, a little uncertain of what he is doing, but when Kris looks up, noticing his presence, Baekhyun gives him a wide smile.

"Look what I've found," he says, showing the bottle of wine and Kris’ first reaction is to laugh, his arms crossed over his chest and shaking his head. He’s still wearing the worn out sweater from before, but now he also has a brown coat on, with way too many pockets.

"Are you trying to get me drunk in my patrol?" Kris asks and Baekhyun laughs, sitting on a box in front of him.

"You're just standing there. Your rifle is like one meter away from you. Not really a fighting stance."

Kris smiles at that, looking outside the window, and the moonlight lights his whole face now. Baekhyun bites his lower lip. "It has been one year since we had any problems. I don't even know why we do patrols anymore."

"It's when you let your guard down that shit happens," Baekhyun tells him, taking a huge sip of the wine. Surprisingly, it tastes really good. "It's a good thing you still put us on patrols."

"Minseok doesn't think so," Kris whispers, motioning with his head to Minseok. Baekhyun looks at the man, snorting. Minseok has his head pending on his neck, sleeping soundly.

“Should we wake him up?” He asks with a devilish grin. Kris shakes his head.

“Let the guy sleep. He needs it.”

Baekhyun looks back at Kris, and they fall into silence. The other man's gaze is lost in the darkness outside, and Baekhyun clears his throat. It has been so long since he consciously flirted with anyone at all, and now he finds himself a little rusty.

"So," he starts, taking another sip of the wine, "it's kinda cold up here, right?"

He could slap himself in the face for such a ridiculous choice of conversation topic. It's cold everywhere. Kris looks back at him, and the smile on his face makes it seem like he's amused by Baekhyun's choice of conversation. He walks up to him, picking up the wine from his hand and then going back to lean his back against the wall, staring at the bottle.

"I don't remember Lu Han putting wine in the list of things you guys needed to bring."

"Well," Baekhyun smiles, "you should never let good wine go to waste."

"It's the end of the world, and you're worried about wine."

"Better than be worried about keeping my hair dyed."

Kris wheezes at that, spitting some wine on his hand. Baekhyun laughs at him. He kind of wishes they could skip the mushy part and go straight to the "hey, the world ended, but we're here, so how about a quick fuck to cherish our survival", but he doesn't know how Kris would react to that. He doesn't even know if Kris is interested in anything with him.

"Is it that weird?" Kris asks after a while, touching his own hair. "I don't know. It’s so hard to break some habits, I feel weird letting it go dark again. I kind of just wanted to keep some link with who I was before, you know? This was the only thing I could think of."

Baekhyun smiles, "you're still the same person, aren't you?"

"Am I?" Kris questions in a low tone, sounding a little bitter. "It doesn't feel like it."

Baekhyun extends his hands towards him, asking for the bottle of wine. "And who were you, Kris? Is that even your name?"

Kris bites his lips, smiling, "you go first."

"You know everything about me!" Baekhyun whines, looking confused. "I studied philosophy, used to work in an comic store-"

"This is all useless information," Kris cuts him off, "I used to work in a law firm, and went to law school before that. Do you feel like you know much of whom I was now?"

"Rich as fuck?"

Kris laughs that laugh that Baekhyun likes so much - the one when he shakes his whole body and lets him gums show - and that makes him feel a little fuzzy.

"Less than you'd expect it, I guess," he finally says, tilting his head, "what I want to know is... who were you?"

"Are we this far in our relationship for such deep questions?" Baekhyun jokes and Kris smiles a little. "Ok, ok. I guess I was ok. Pretty chill. Had a dog, and lived alone. My family lived on the other side of the country. Jongdae and I used to go clubbing a few times here and there when he was still single and not a boring ass. I don’t know how to reply to this question."

Kris stays in silence for a while, chewing on his lips. "You're childhood friends, right? You and Jongdae, I mean."

"Yup, I met him in kindergarten."

"You're really close," Kris pinpoints the obvious, and Baekhyun can already see the next question coming, "did you guys ever..."

Baekhyun smirks a little bit, “kind of. I was in love with him for half my life, but he fell in love with the little rich guy, so,” he shrugs, trying to look ok with it. He’s not, though. He’ll never be. “Don’t even say anything in front of Joonmyun, please, the guy already hates my guts.”

Kris only smiles, “I doubt he hates you.” He drinks again, looking at the bottle with some admiration. "My name is not Kris. Changed it because I thought it sounded cooler back when Lu Han, Minseok and I started this." He laughs at that, looking embarrassed. "I don't even think I remember whom I used to be anymore. Except that I dyed my hair."

Baekhyun laughs only because he has nothing to say. He can relate, though. Sometimes he felt split in two as if there were two different Baekhyuns, as if he had been living in two different universes. Whoever he was, the Baekhyun who had a family and peopled he loved so much seemed to have died long ago, giving room to something hard and unmoving. Baekhyun is pretty aware of the man he became, of how hard it is for him now to make any links. He had been in the gang for a whole year but didn't really become friends with anyone. He is social, that's for sure, but it's one thing to be liked and a completely different one to be trusted. Baekhyun wouldn't risk his skin for anyone in there, except for his best friend.

"But I guess it's nice to keep some link with whoever you used to be. It makes me feel human."

Baekhyun raises his head, staring at Kris for a while. Human, he thinks. The word somehow sounds funny in his ears.

"If I tell you something, you promise you won't judge me?"

"Sure."

"Of course I miss the old world, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I just-," he stops, biting his lips. He doesn't even know why he is telling Kris this. He has never told anyone, not even Jongdae. "I have a role in this world, you know? I'm useful. Back there I was just some random boy who'd probably be broke for life because he made the very wrong choice of majoring in philosophy only to piss his father off. Here, I’m... someone."

Kris stares at him for a while, and the expression in his face is unreadable. Well, sure Baekhyun probably sounds like a sociopath for basically preferring a wretched world over the perfect thing they had before, and now his chances of getting laid are completely ruined.

But to his surprise, Kris lets out a husky, low laugh, more to himself than anything. He looks down at Baekhyun, smiling in a way Baekhyun doesn't quite understand, before finally saying, "I know how you feel."

÷

That day’s mission seems pretty easy. Minseok had arrived earlier that morning, telling Kris that he got information about a supermarket warehouse that was still untouched, in one neighborhood away from where they are at, a place that still had not been claimed by any other rival gang. What they have to do is pretty simple. Go in, check how good things are there, and then spray the door with their signature. Baekhyun doesn’t understand why a signature would stop other gangs from crashing in the place, but Kris tells him that’s the way things work now; their new laws.

Minseok was feeling ill again, which Baekhyun thinks it’s odd. As of late the man have to stays more often than not, sometimes not even being able to stand up properly. Joonmyun brushes it off as a cold, so Baekhyun tries not to think much of it., but because of his absence their research team suffers some changes. This time around they go only in a team of four: Baekhyun, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol (who’ll stay in the car, in the off chance shit happens and they need to run) and their leader himself. Baekhyun feels a little odd at first, having Kris around. He had never gone in a mission with the guy, and somehow he makes him feel a little nervous.

Baekhyun stops by the door of the warehouse, and Kyungsoo quickly explains the map to him once again, and all the information Minseok’s source provided them. He simply nods, silently motioning for Jongin to cover for him.

He glares at Kris, then, a small smile playing on his lips, “and you just stand there and look pretty for me, that’s what you’re here for, right?”

Kris scoffs loading his gun. Baekhyun opens the door with the pin, slowly getting inside. He can feel Jongin at his back, his breath being the only sound echoing through the room. Kris and Kyungsoo stayed by the door, watching for any disturbance from the outside. Inside,the store is supposed to be clear and empty, but somehow Baekhyun feels weird as if there is someone watching them from the dark. He stops walking, holding his palm up for Jongin to stop.

“There’s something wrong,” he whispers, and Jongin’s grip on the gun gets stronger.

“What is it?”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes, trying to get used to the dark. He can feel it, something sticking to his skin, that weird sensation all around you when you know there is someone watching you. Until he notices.

“Back away.”

“What?”

“It’s a trap!”

In the moment he says it out loud, he feels a bullet zipping right above his head, not hitting Jongin by millimeters. Baekhyun wields his gun, shooting in the dark, but then he feels an arm lacing his middle and pulling him back. He is back to the street, and Kris is the one pulling him down, grabbing him by his arm and urging him to run. He can hear another shot, and when he looks back, he sees Jongin and Kyungsoo running in the opposite direction.

Kris leads him down an alley, and Baekhyun can hear the screams of whoever is following him right behind them. The leader kicks a yellow door, entering a building. They run up the stairs, Kris’ grip still tight on Baekhyun's wrist. His heart is pumping inside his chest, he doesn't even distinguish the place they are at. All he sees is a blur of red walls, and then he is shoved inside another door, into a small room. Kris closes the door, looking around the room, and then putting some boxes and cans of paint against the door. Baekhyun can hear the sound of people screaming and running, coming to the exact corridor they are at.

"Fuck," Kris breathes, towering over Baekhyun in that small, almost claustrophobic inducing room, both of his hands against the wall on each side of Baekhyun's head. The two of them are holding their breaths, listening to the steps echoing on the corridor outside while some men scream to each other.

"Where the fuck are they?" Baekhyun hears, way too close, and for his despair, the door knob moves as someone tries to get in. Kris quickly places one of his hand over Baekhyun's mouth, even though the boy didn't even think of screaming. The man is close to him, his face leaning down, as whoever is outside tries to open the door. Baekhyun feels like throwing up, the blood on his veins pumping so fast he is about to explode. The door hits against the boxes, and Baekhyun hears the man outside grunting, frustrated.

"Not over here."

The steps start to move away, the sound of their voices getting weaker, but Baekhyun only allows himself to breath when he hears the sound of a door closing. Kris' hands still linger on his face, and Baekhyun's blood is still pumping with that rush of danger, and somehow he suddenly feels way too aware of Kris' presence, his body against his own and his hands on his mouth. He takes his hand from Baekhyun’s mouth, but instead of walking away, Kris' body gets even closer, pressuring him against the wall. Baekhyun looks up, biting on his lips. He is about to say something when he is pressured even further against the wall, and then Kris is leaning down, kissing his lips roughly.

Baekhyun yelps in surprise against Kris' lips, and it's like all that adrenaline he was feeling just a few seconds ago turn into lust. He bucks his hips up, and Kris' hands go down to his ass, pulling him even closer. Baekhyun grinds on him, hands messing his hair, biting his lips. Kris seems just as desperate as he is, shoving his hands on his pants, grabbing his ass through his underwear, and Baekhyun moans against his mouth.

Kris pulls away, then, undoing his pants, and that's when it hits Baekhyun. How will they even have sex in that place? He is pretty sure they have no condoms, no lube. How did Jongdae and Joonmyun even do it, he catches himself wondering, and then he feels bad because the thought of his friends fucking is probably the less arousing thing for that moment. He feels Kris’ hands now on his own jeans, harshly taking them down, and for a moment, Baekhyun freaks out. But the man doesn't turn him around. All he does is spit on his hand, take Baekhyun's cock in his grip, and then starting to jerk him off. Baekhyun throws his head back, and he feels Kris’ mouth coming for his neck, kissing it, biting on it.

Kris' hands are quick and rough, and Baekhyun needs to hold himself on the man's shoulder simply not to collapse on the floor. But Kris doesn't seem happy with doing all the hard work by himself, though. He takes Baekhyun's hand, shoving it on the direction of his own cock, and Baekhyun takes the hint. He knows he is doing a lousy job, but Kris seems to enjoy it, taking Baekhyun's lips on his own again, biting on his lower lip, cursing against his skin.

Baekhyun lowers his head until it is resting against Kris' shoulder, putting all his weight against him. He feels waves of pleasure wash him all over, and he moans loudly against the man's shirt when he feels himself coming, his whole body responding to it as if his every cell decided to stop at the same moment. He has no strength, and Kris mutters a fuck against his ear, his own hands covering Baekhyun's smaller one, helping him to finish him off.

It was quick and rough, and messy. He feels Kris' cum dirtying his fingers, making it sticky, and he cleans his hands against the wall. Not that it is all that a good idea by how dirty the walls are. Baekhyun still has his head resting against Kris' shoulder, and the both of them are breathing so heavily it makes him hope that the people who were looking for them really left, or they would’ve probably heard them.

They stay like that for a while, legs straddled, until Kris pulls away, heaving a deep sigh. None of them say anything, but it doesn't feel awkward. If it weren’t for both of them being naked under their waist, one would think they just had a nice chat instead of a heavy jerking off session.

"Someone pulled one on us," Kris says as he puts his pants back on.

"Who were the people who gave the info to Minseok?"

Kris hesitates a little, "that old couple that you guys helped last time." Baekhyun’s eyes go wide, and then he smiles the i-told-you-so smile, but Kris ignores it. "I don't blame them. They probably gave them something better than we could give. We are all surviving here."

"They? So those people were... Probably..."

"Some assholes trying to get into our territory,” he sighs, “fuck I thought we had all of this figured out already.”

Baekhyun tries his hardest not to make any snarky remark, but it’s hard. Ever since Kris explained to him the whole ‘rules surrounding the gangs and their territories’, he can’t help but think about how dumb all of that is.

Their city has been divided into territories, most of it like the old neighborhoods that used to constitute it. At first the gangs were small, and they’d settle for streets or blocks, but then they started to get more armed and more dangerous. They’d start to fight within themselves for territory. A wider territory means you have more ground to cover - more stores, more places where you can find shelter. Some gangs, like Kris’, accept people to live in the territories as long as they know it. Some others are not as kind.

To stop the whole gang war, they divided the neighborhood over the gangs. Every new territory found that wasn’t covered in their old agreement, or claimed, can be claimed by just spraying their signature on the walls. Baekhyun doesn’t know much about the other gangs, except for the ones he already met. He knows of the guys around south, who took too much of a liking for the whole killing thing. And he also knows of the gang of girls who take care of one of the central neighborhoods, one of the best places to claim.

And that’s probably why Kris looks so alarmed. It has been a long time since anyone tried to break their agreement, and a trap like that just makes everything way more dangerous.

Baekhyun zips his own pants on, still feeling his throat hurting a little because of Kris' teeth.

"And Jongin and Kyungsoo?"

"If they were smart, they took the car and ran away. I was dumb for running on the opposite direction."

"You were dumb or were you trying to be alone in a small room with me?" Baekhyun asks, biting on his lips, and Kris looks at him, smiling in the same suggestive way.

"I waited for you to make the first move, but god, you're slow."

Baekhyun laughs at that, looking around the room, still desperately trying to clean his hands on the walls. "And now what do we do?"

"Wait. They'll come back for us when the sun rises."

He nods while Kris sits on the opposite corner, resting his head against the wall. Baekhyun looks down at him, feeling tense for a moment. He doesn’t really know what to do now, he doesn’t know what to say. He sits by Kris’ side, and the man is resting his head against the wall, eyes closed. Baekhyun feels something pulling inside of him, making him uncomfortable, a little restless. Something about the way Kris’ lips are red and wet, and how the effect those weak yellow lights have against his skin. He looks away, closing his eyes.

He doesn’t want to think about it.

÷

They only leave their hiding when they are pretty sure the sun is already up. The both of them get out of the building carefully, weapons drawn, but there is no one around. Baekhyun relaxes.

It doesn't take much for Minseok to appear with a car, a smile spreading through Jongin's face when they spot them. And just like that, they are taken back to the hide out in safety.

But for some reason, Baekhyun feels weird. Not only because there is now the eminent threat of a rival group trying to kill them, but also because of what happened back in that small room filled with paint cans. After they jerked each other off, nothing of much special happened anymore. They slept and only woke up hours later, talked a little about random things, but nothing more than that. They didn’t talk about it after they got home, and that makes Baekhyun a little anxious. He doesn't want Kris to get the wrong idea. He doesn't want him to think that he and Baekhyun now have a romantic thing, or that Baekhyun is in love. There is only one thing Baekhyun wants out of Kris, and that's sex. No attachments. No caring. Nothing more.

And that's what he is decided to tell him when he finds him in the mechanics room, messing with some of their cars. Baekhyun thanks himself for deciding only to go look for him at night time because there is no one else around to hear their conversation. He clears his throat, and Kris looks up from inside the car's hood.

"Hey," he says, looking at Baekhyun with interest.

"Hey," Baekhyun replies, crossing his arms above his chest, "look, we need to talk."

"About?"

"Yesterday. Us. About what happened."

Kris furrows his eyebrows, and then goes back to whatever he was fixing in the car's hood. "I'm listening."

"Look. I just want to tell you that whatever it was it didn't mean anything."

Kris scoffs at that. "It meant something. It always does."

"It didn't mean I care about you, that's what I mean right now."

Kris lifts his head, picking up a towel to clean his hand from the grease. "Woah. That's... Straight to the point."

"Look. I don't wanna sound like an asshole-"

"You already do!"

"-but there is only one person in this world I care for right now. My parents are dead. My whole family is. Had a pretty nice view of their bodies when I went home to check on them. And this is the future for us all. I already have too much on my hands being worried about Jongdae's safety 24/7, I can't deal with more."

Kris stares at him for a while taking one step closer to him and Baekhyun steps back. "So. You've been one year with us, sharing meals, sharing a life, but you're telling me you don't care for any of us?"

Baekhyun stares back at him, sharply, "I'll help anyone I need to help when it comes to missions if that's what you're worried about."

"Not even Joonmyun?" Kris asks, ignoring what he said. Baekhyun shrugs.

"Yes."

"You went through a lot of trouble to save someone you don't even care about."

"I owed him," Baekhyun explains, his back hitting against the car's door.

"It's cute, you know," Kris starts, and his voice sounds dangerous. Baekhyun never heard him sounding that cold. "The way you try so hard live up to this tough image you made for yourself. You really play the part, don't you?"

Baekhyun gulps narrowing his eyes at him in anger. "All I'm saying is that I don't want any strings attached to me. I'm done with fucking strings. I'm done with people. If you want anything like Minseok and Lu Han have, we better stop this shit right now."

He tries to leave, but Kris holds him down, pressing him against the car with one hand on his chest. "So all you want is someone to fuck you, and that's all?"

Baekhyun doesn't reply. Kris is now closer to him, their bodies almost touching. The man leans down, whispering in his ear, "get in the car."

And with that, Kris pushes him, not strong enough to hurt, but enough to shove Baekhyun into the car. He falls ungracefully in the back seat, and Kris leans on top of him, shutting the door behind him. There are no kisses this time, he goes straight to the point, his huge hands grabbing on Baekhyun's pants, pressuring against his cock. The man muffles a moan, trying to get in a better position inside the car. Kris holds him by his hips, unzipping his pants and pulling them down quickly.

Baekhyun drags himself up, leaning his weight on his elbows so he can buck his hips up for Kris to put his pants down. The man looks up at him, a small smirk on his lips, picking Baekhyun’s half-hard cock on his hands. The man bites his lips when he notices the way Kris shifts to get in a better position, and then he leans his head, putting his tongue out just a little, anticipating.

He licks him first, soft and slow. Baekhyun lets out a heavy breath, while he feels Kris’ tongue making circles around the head, and then all through his length, up and down until he finally takes him inside his mouth. The man grunts, and Kris moans with his dick in his mouth, and by this time Baekhyun is already completely hard. Kris is still doing it slowly, going down until the base with his jaw slack, letting his tongue do all the pressure, and then sucking it in, making pressure with his cheeks. He can feel his stomach turning, his blood pumping in his ears. Suddenly he forgets he is inside a car in a place that anyone can walk in at any minute. All he cares about it’s Kris, and his lips, and the way he is going so low on him right now he can feel his dick touching the back of his throat. Baekhyun whimpers.

He places his hand on the man’s head, intertwining his fingers with his hair. And then he slowly bucks his hips up a little, trying to feel more, and then he lets his hips down again. When Baekhyun does it again, Kris places both of his hands under his ass, giving him support. So Baekhyun thrusts in Kris’ mouth again, feeling the man’s tongue travel through his dick, the tip of his dick touching the back of his throat. He lets out a heavy sigh and looks down. Kris isn’t moving anymore, his mouth hanging open around his dick, his jaw falling slack again. Baekhyun moves his hands down, holding on his face.

Baekhyun fucks Kris’ mouth roughly, muttering senseless things as he does so. He can’t breathe properly anymore, letting his head fall back, his hips going up and down in a frantic rhythm. Until Kris stops him abruptly. Baekhyun opens his eyes, and the man is smirking at him, and then just like that he leaves.

Baekhyun is unfazed.

“What the fuck?” He mutters under his breath, trying to put his pants on. But god knows the struggle it is to put your pants on while having a hard on. “Hey!” He calls, getting out of the car, “hey!”

Kris stops on his spot, turning on his heels. Baekhyun walks towards him with the most dignity he can hold at a moment like this, staring at the man as if he is insane. “What the fuck was that?”

The man tilts his head, “I thought you said you didn’t need anyone,” he tells him, leaning in, his lips brushing against Baekhyun’s lobe as he whispers, “so you can finish yourself off, can’t you?”

He smirks, turning on his heels and walking away. Baekhyun has his mouth open in shock, an i-can’t-fucking-believe-this-crap expression on his face.

“Or ask for Jongdae to do it for you, since he’s the only person you care about,” Kris screams, losing the cool instance and letting a little bit of bitterness show, before closing the door, and Baekhyun laughs, shaking his head.

That’s a good start.

÷

And that's how things go for the two of them for the upcoming days. Kris seems to accept Baekhyun's condition quite easily after his first little show, never complaining about anything when it comes to their "relationship" or whatever it is. They always meet in dark places, when everyone is already too far into sleep. Sometimes in the storage room, sometimes in one of the cars, sometimes Baekhyun sneaks into the room Kris shares with Yixing, and they make it so quietly the other man doesn't even flinch in his heavy sleep. No one seems to notice at first, but with time, of course things get obvious. Not that Baekhyun cares. He was never trying to hide it. He just didn't show it, because it was never something valuable. Something he wanted to share. It was just sex - as crude, and simple as it could be. Or at least that's what he tries his best for it to be.

But what worries him the most is how things are starting to fall into place, and the world around him is losing that unreal feeling it had since it all ended. They have meals together at the same time, they talk, they laugh. Baekhyun wakes up with Kyungsoo kicking him out of bed, crawls to breakfast, chats with Jongdae and Jongin, and then goes out to some mission, and when he comes back he has sex with Kris, going back to his room before he falls sleep in the warmth of his bed. It's routine creeping back in, and Baekhyun hates it. Not in the way people used to hate routines. He remembers how people used to complain about routine, about how there were a thousand cheap psychology books about breaking habits and living in the moment. Baekhyun now thinks all that was a bunch of bullshit. You only give the day-to-day habits their credit when they’re gone, when you see yourself without those little things you took for granted, when shit happens, and your life turns upside down, and you wish you could wake up the next day for college just like every other day.

Baekhyun doesn't want to create a routine again. He doesn't want this world to feel normal, safe. Because it isn't. Because from one minute to another he can lose all that, and he doesn't want to go through that again.

And he knows the world will never be normal. It will never be the same. It doesn't matter how many times Jongdae tries to tell himself that, it doesn't matter how many times each one of them try to lie to themselves. The world is gone, and so is humanity. And Baekhyun is tired.

He is sitting by himself in a corner when they bring the prisoner in. He had heard of him, some poor guy Chanyeol caught sleeping on their stock room. Baekhyun only takes one good look at him when Jongin brings him in by his arms, and his skin crawls. He probably got beaten up pretty well. He seems to be around Sehun’s age, already missing some of his front teeth. His whole left cheek is swollen, one of his eyes completely hidden by his swollen brown.

"What did you want here?" Kris asks, and the boy starts to cry. Baekhyun looks away, focusing on the gun on his hand.

He hears Minseok saying, "he can't talk. They cut his tongue."

Kris heaves a deep sigh, and Baekhyun looks at the two of them by the corner of his eyes. "He probably fucked up big time with the Crows."

"We should take him in," Kris says, and Minseok shakes his head furiously.

"If the Crows, who tried to kill him, know we helped him out, they'll take this as a sign of disrespect, and we'll be at war again."

"What do we do, then?" Kris asks, nervous, "leave the guy on the streets to die by their hands or of hunger?"

"The solution is simple, isn't it?" Baekhyun asks, his voice echoing through the room. Minseok stares at him and Baekhyun walks towards them, feeling his headache. He looks at the boy again, and there is snot running from his nose. "Take the boy out of his misery."

He shoves the gun in Kris' hand, and the man looks at him as if he is seeing him for the very first time. "Are you insane?"

"He is hurt. Leave him on the streets and he is done for. And Minseok is right. He has no use for us, except for fucking us up. Shoot him in the head and be done with it."

Kris is gaping at him, eyes wide and jaw slack. Minseok gulps, shaking his head. "This… You may be right, Baekhyun, but I can't be a part of this."

"You have killed much more than one guy!"

"But this is-"

"You're both hypocrites," Baekhyun spits, "You put a gun in my hand and order me to kill for the team. But now you're playing humanitarians?” He sneers, staring up and down at Kris, “What's the difference between this and what you order us to do?"

Baekhyun can feel his heart aching inside his chest, his head spinning in a thousand directions. This is their reality. This is who they are now. They are a bunch of cold blooded killers who like to play nice by saving the elderly or children so they can still call themselves humans. None of them are humans anymore. They all have killed, enjoyed the taste of dead in their hands, enjoyed the taste of the power of being the one wielding the gun, of being the one who can pull the trigger and take the food back home.

"If you can't do it, I will," he says, taking the gun out of Kris' hands. It feels heavy, heavier than it has ever felt. He takes a look at Kris' dumbfounded face before aiming at the boy's head, and his little face contorts in silent desperation. Baekhyun knows he is doing this more for proving something for his own self than for his peers. He is tired of being in an eternal conflict with his own feelings, with what he used to be. It's time to kill whoever he was, and let the new him be born.

He pulls the trigger.

"It's done," he says, tired.

He hands the gun to Kris and leaves. He’s about to throw up.

One | Two | Three