Ugh Boys
Its strange that I don't feel the same sort of connection thing that me and him had before. Like he's pulling away or I'm pulling away or we're both pulling away but neither one of us cares. I don't mind if it ends because it was nice while it lasted but I wish it could be like before when he was the greatest thing. Now it's like routine and I don't not like the routine I just don't want the routine to be one that makes me feel like just friends, right now I feel like just friends. Does that make any sense? Probably not. But I remember the beginning times and the things he used to say or when he's drunk, I love him when he's drunk. That's baaaaad. But the sweetest things come out when he's drunk.
I know this isn't going to last and that makes me a tad bit sad.
I lie, it feels like my heart will be ripped out soon and I don't know how to deal with that.
Why can't things be like they used to be, when he was just wonderful?
And I wasn't such a huge bitch?
I love him to death and I can't be nice.
I wish he could understand my past whatsoever. Being a bitch is a defense mechanism. I can't break down all my walls yet. He's in far enough as it is.
I know this isn't going to last and that makes me a tad bit sad.
I lie, it feels like my heart will be ripped out soon and I don't know how to deal with that.
Why can't things be like they used to be, when he was just wonderful?
And I wasn't such a huge bitch?
I love him to death and I can't be nice.
I wish he could understand my past whatsoever. Being a bitch is a defense mechanism. I can't break down all my walls yet. He's in far enough as it is.