Semi-OOC: Season 3 woes
You know, I don't know whether to be relieved that I'm no longer being shown lying around weeping on a pile of empty pizza boxes, or annoyed that it took not wanting to disappoint an adorable wee girl to do it. I mean, is it just me or is that the plot of a Shirley Temple movie?
Whatever. I can only hope this whole nauseating "woobie" thing is over, or at least on the downswing. If I had to watch myself being all patient and soulful-eyed one more time, knowing that I was then going to be reading some TWoP recapper's pontifications about how really I deserved it all and worse, I think I would have taken a sledgehammer to the fourth wall.
(My favorite bit was Keckler implying the other week that, because I held a bum fight how fucking long ago, I had no right to suggest that Veronica blackmailing a judge might not be the Best Idea Ever. You know what? The "WoP" doesn't bother me, but "Without Earth Logic" does.
A. It was a stupid and completely badly thought out plan that:
1. Veronica wouldn't even have considered in Season 1, and it
2. Went to hell in exactly the way I was afraid of, so I was, you know, right, which
3. Probably would have gotten cheers from the same recappers if it'd come from any other character. Also:
B. The two things have nothing whatsoever to do with each other, especially because
1. I am not and would never try to be the moral center of the show
2. But Veronica is supposed to be Our Heroine
a. And I don't see why the hell I shouldn't be allowed to call her on her bullshit, the way I always have done
b. Especially if none of her more pure and righteous flying monkeys are around to shake their heads and sigh at her
c. Which is maybe the writers' fault for either forgetting they existed for multiple episodes, or sending them off a cliff and into a pregnant coma,
d. But not mine. So excuse me for trying to be a good friend and boyfriend and stop her from doing something idiotic.
3. It's not like the bum fight was part of some crusade for great justice, anyway
i. (If anything it was a crusade to piss off my dad)
ii. (And if I was expecting anyone to be impressed it was at about the same level that lighting your own farts is impressive.)
c. But Veronica's all about the Great Justice
d. So seriously, WTF?
C. God forbid I should have character progression after 3 years and untold trauma.
D. I really wish I could hire, oh, Season 1 Veronica to look into their pasts and see if they ever did anything stupid and immoral. Because clearly they're forever after incapable of making any comments on anyone else's behavior.
Anyway.)
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Logan Echolls!
1. I know for a fact that's not true. As many annoyed friends might attest.
2. I am never using crayons of any kind again.
3. And the star-bellied Logans have stars upon thars.
4. I'd make a witty quip here, but the idea of going around sniffing children is off-putting any way you spin it.
5. But it's better to use him while he's fresh. And really, when isn't he?
6. You'll note that we're no longer on the gold standard.
7. I feel like there's a "well, I am kind of a turkey" joke to be made here, but I'm (a) too lazy and (b) not going to reach that far for a punchline that sounds circa 1947.
8. Sadly, any positive karma earned there was more than burned off in my 234th life, when I wrote "for a good time, sacrifice a chicken to Inanna" on a temple wall, thereby damning myself to an eternity of bad relationships with girls who think only they're allowed to break the rules.
9. Heh. "Moons." Heh heh.
10. Uh, I think I can live with that. I'll just be hiding under my bed every Feb. 29th, then. (Though I do have fond memories of that one Sadie Hawkins dance. Of course, I went stag. So what does that tell you?)
Whatever. I can only hope this whole nauseating "woobie" thing is over, or at least on the downswing. If I had to watch myself being all patient and soulful-eyed one more time, knowing that I was then going to be reading some TWoP recapper's pontifications about how really I deserved it all and worse, I think I would have taken a sledgehammer to the fourth wall.
(My favorite bit was Keckler implying the other week that, because I held a bum fight how fucking long ago, I had no right to suggest that Veronica blackmailing a judge might not be the Best Idea Ever. You know what? The "WoP" doesn't bother me, but "Without Earth Logic" does.
A. It was a stupid and completely badly thought out plan that:
1. Veronica wouldn't even have considered in Season 1, and it
2. Went to hell in exactly the way I was afraid of, so I was, you know, right, which
3. Probably would have gotten cheers from the same recappers if it'd come from any other character. Also:
B. The two things have nothing whatsoever to do with each other, especially because
1. I am not and would never try to be the moral center of the show
2. But Veronica is supposed to be Our Heroine
a. And I don't see why the hell I shouldn't be allowed to call her on her bullshit, the way I always have done
b. Especially if none of her more pure and righteous flying monkeys are around to shake their heads and sigh at her
c. Which is maybe the writers' fault for either forgetting they existed for multiple episodes, or sending them off a cliff and into a pregnant coma,
d. But not mine. So excuse me for trying to be a good friend and boyfriend and stop her from doing something idiotic.
3. It's not like the bum fight was part of some crusade for great justice, anyway
i. (If anything it was a crusade to piss off my dad)
ii. (And if I was expecting anyone to be impressed it was at about the same level that lighting your own farts is impressive.)
c. But Veronica's all about the Great Justice
d. So seriously, WTF?
C. God forbid I should have character progression after 3 years and untold trauma.
D. I really wish I could hire, oh, Season 1 Veronica to look into their pasts and see if they ever did anything stupid and immoral. Because clearly they're forever after incapable of making any comments on anyone else's behavior.
Anyway.)
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Logan Echolls!
- Logan Echolls never said 'Play it again, Sam'.
- The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on Logan Echolls.
- Logan Echolls is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.
- Scientists have discovered that Logan Echolls can smell the presence of autism in children!
- You should always store Logan Echolls in an airtight container in the fridge.
- US gold coins used to say 'In Logan Echolls we trust'!
- Birds do not sleep in Logan Echolls, though they may rest in him from time to time.
- Logan Echolls invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC.
- Logan Echolls is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
- Tradition allows women to propose to Logan Echolls only during leap years.
1. I know for a fact that's not true. As many annoyed friends might attest.
2. I am never using crayons of any kind again.
3. And the star-bellied Logans have stars upon thars.
4. I'd make a witty quip here, but the idea of going around sniffing children is off-putting any way you spin it.
5. But it's better to use him while he's fresh. And really, when isn't he?
6. You'll note that we're no longer on the gold standard.
7. I feel like there's a "well, I am kind of a turkey" joke to be made here, but I'm (a) too lazy and (b) not going to reach that far for a punchline that sounds circa 1947.
8. Sadly, any positive karma earned there was more than burned off in my 234th life, when I wrote "for a good time, sacrifice a chicken to Inanna" on a temple wall, thereby damning myself to an eternity of bad relationships with girls who think only they're allowed to break the rules.
9. Heh. "Moons." Heh heh.
10. Uh, I think I can live with that. I'll just be hiding under my bed every Feb. 29th, then. (Though I do have fond memories of that one Sadie Hawkins dance. Of course, I went stag. So what does that tell you?)