(no subject)
i think i died this afternoon. i left my body for awhile covered in blood. but i came back. i could have not easily succumb dead to menstruation.
math class was nauseating- i wanted to get out of the class badly and vomit all the numbers. as i ran through my past notes, i found last semester’s math course outline. my name was written in confusing khmer symbols on the paper itself. that made my day- he left me his weird handwriting. the best thing to do in order to forget a person’s lingering presence is to get rid of every single goddamn object that may be a reminisce of him or her. i was supposed to throw any items that i love the most on tuesday but instead of throwing the things that my precious hobbit gave to me, i erased the word truly from my vocabulary instead [i allowed myself to use the word only for the purpose of typing this entry!] my hostel bedroom is just full of his stuff: books, schoolbags, photographs among other ridiculous possessions like socks and speakers. i see his belongings everyday, i live with his belongings, i live next door to his former frigging lavish apartment, i can never stop missing him. i seriously excel at making myself feeling despondent!
i cannot sleep well these past few days. i had been having nightmares every few seconds. the worst one was: my father caught me having multiple orgasms while phucking my hobbit deliciously in an unknown place. he automatically became mute after witnessing such an act. to think about it, having seen your daughter naked on top of a midget can be visually disturbing. i cannot blame this on jet-lag swings anymore. but i cannot sleep whenever i want to, and i will feel sleepy whenever i need to stay awake [especially math class, goddamn it!]. i need drug prescriptions. do not worry, i am a good girl who will never have the tendency to overdose *bats eyelashes which scarcely exist*.
math class was nauseating- i wanted to get out of the class badly and vomit all the numbers. as i ran through my past notes, i found last semester’s math course outline. my name was written in confusing khmer symbols on the paper itself. that made my day- he left me his weird handwriting. the best thing to do in order to forget a person’s lingering presence is to get rid of every single goddamn object that may be a reminisce of him or her. i was supposed to throw any items that i love the most on tuesday but instead of throwing the things that my precious hobbit gave to me, i erased the word truly from my vocabulary instead [i allowed myself to use the word only for the purpose of typing this entry!] my hostel bedroom is just full of his stuff: books, schoolbags, photographs among other ridiculous possessions like socks and speakers. i see his belongings everyday, i live with his belongings, i live next door to his former frigging lavish apartment, i can never stop missing him. i seriously excel at making myself feeling despondent!
i cannot sleep well these past few days. i had been having nightmares every few seconds. the worst one was: my father caught me having multiple orgasms while phucking my hobbit deliciously in an unknown place. he automatically became mute after witnessing such an act. to think about it, having seen your daughter naked on top of a midget can be visually disturbing. i cannot blame this on jet-lag swings anymore. but i cannot sleep whenever i want to, and i will feel sleepy whenever i need to stay awake [especially math class, goddamn it!]. i need drug prescriptions. do not worry, i am a good girl who will never have the tendency to overdose *bats eyelashes which scarcely exist*.