My Return to Houston - Past Meets Future
An epic journal title for an epic entry. And I use the term epic loosely. After all, this entry doesn't really mean much, but in general, the events that transpired over the past two weeks have been pretty monumental.
My sister is married. I know, it's weird. It didn't seem weird before it happened, but when I actually watched her getting married and after the ceremony, things were different. It wasn't as anticlimactic as I thought would be - like when you turn 20 and everyone's like "so, blah blah, you're no longer a teenager, blah blah, do you feel different?" Of course you don't feel different... you went to sleep and woke up. But even though my sister and her new husband Roy exchanged a few vows, things definitely were different.
I have a brother now. Well, a brother-in-law. But I at least got to hang around Roy more this time in Houston than I have before, and I like him more and more. He's just a good guy. Thank goodness, because if I didn't like him it would piss me off... hehe. But he and my sister have the same sense of humor, the same interests and get along really well - but I think they complement each other nicely from what I've seen so far. I wish them the best.
So I'm glad her wedding went off pretty much perfectly. The weather was perfect, everyone was on their best behavior, etc. I wish there could have been more dancing, but it was ok that way too. Everyone seemed exhausted. I know I was, but the dancing was still fun.
The family drama at the wedding sucked ass. I'm still pissed off about it. I mean, everything turned out ok, but still, it's not fair that my sister had to go through what happened and that my Dad and Agueda got away with what they did, like they always do. I also mainly get pissed off because just when I start trusting him and feeling comfortable and opening up, he goes and effs it up and makes me feel stupid for having faith in him.
So, in a nutshell, with all of the details that I know, here's what happened (I'm explaining it not only for documentation purposes but also because I hate when people reference some scandal or problem in their journals and don't give up the goods. It's a journal - if you're going to write about it, then write about it):
At the wedding rehearsal, we were practicing the processional and we have my sister walking with my dad (as fathers do normally with brides), me walking with the best man since I was the maid of honor, Roy's parents walking together, and then my mom walking with Tim (her much younger new husband). So my dad apparently gets all pissed and starts giving my sister crap while they are walking together in the rehearsal processional. I was in front of them, so I didn't see or hear anything, but apparently it was just stuff about how having Tim walk was disrespectful or disgusting or whatever. Agueda is filming everything and shaking her head the whole time. My sister was visibly upset when I saw her next. And my mom came and told me that she things something was wrong, and Jim told me that everyone saw what happened and that my Dad was upset and being an ass.
So, after that, Agueda (my dad's wife, whom I don't like much at all) pulls Jim aside and starts talking to him, trying to get him to walk with my mom so Tim's not walking with her. And then she starts trying to get Jim to agree with her about how horrible the situation is. Of course, after Jim told her he didn't want to get involved and that it's not that big of a deal - we go off for a walk.
I'm not sure what exactly happened after that since I was walking around with Jim, venting a little, but we walked through the parking lot, I noticed that my dad's van wasn't there. In my head I was like, "there's no way they left..." But if the car wasn't there, they had to leave, the winery we were at was too far away from anything for the them to go somewhere if they forgot to bring a camera or something.
We continued walking through the parking lot and came upon my sister crying and Roy with her. We formed a little congregation in the parking lot, where Roy said they "peeled" off in the van. My sister said he called all of his family (the aunts, uncles and grandmothers) and told them not to come to the rehearsal that night, when my sister had planned to have a get together with snacks, etc.
Meanwhile, Roy's family is inside, like... wtf, mate?
So after a few minutes of venting, anger, and then the eventual development of the "F- it all" sentiment, we unloaded and stuffed two pinatas we had brought and gave them a few whacks. After that, me, my sister, Jim and my sister's friends went out for the night to this game/arcade/mini golf/ laser tag place to have a little fun and cheer up.
On the way home at like 1 am, my dad calls my sister and gives her some lip about not calling and letting them know where she went. -- strike 2
So, that night, we were both kinda pissed, nervous, stressed out, etc. Although it was funny cause I wasn't actually involved in all this -- but I was damned angry at my dad for being so selfish and childish and being such an ass to my sister. I mean, I'm not naive -- I understand why he got angry. But I would think by age 50, you would have gained some maturity and would know the time and the place to have a conniption. But then again, I remind you and myself that this is typical behavior for my dad. So, it doesn't really surprise me that he blew up, but it surprised me that he would do that to my sister on the night before her wedding. What an utter asshole.
So, the next morning, my dad's family pretty much ignores my sister. It's her wedding day and no one says good morning, asks her is she's nervous, excited... no one seems happy. She goes to get breakfast and no one says anything except "Have you seen the cat." My sister cries -- rightfully so. And of course, I am getting more and more infuriated. Mainly cause I want to give all of these people a piece of my mind and tell them all to grow up. BUT ... I know it would only cause more trouble and that I should let my sister deal with this. I don't want to make things worse for her, and there's a possibility that my involvement could do that... or at least just stress her out more. I just sat next to her and listened - I wasn't sure if I should comfort her. I know I hate when people hug me when I'm crying... it just makes me cry more. So I just tried to be there and be supportive.
After that, I packed up all my stuff and told Jim to come get me so I could get ready at my mom's apartment, hang out with them, and then after the wedding I would just stay with her and she would take me to the airport the next morning. I didn't want to be around all of those family members who treated my sister so poorly. I'm sure there was some miscommunication -- once again I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt just because I don't understand why they would be so hurtful. But whatever... maybe they wanted to be mean. I haven't been briefed on the situation, so perhaps I'll never know.
So, in the end, the wedding went well... although I always feel like my dad has to make everything about him. Sobbing during his toast, playing to the crowd... cutting in on my sister's first dance with Roy... This was her time to shine... not his. Now, I don't know if my sister cared.. she's more laid back than me and actually has a decent relationship with my dad... but that would have pissed me off... I would have told him to sit his ass down until I finished my dance. Parading up there like he's father of the year and then walking around and talking about how much he paid for the wedding and all that. The night was a nutshell of all the little things that I don't like about him. He always hurts people in the worst ways at the worst moments.
Ok... I'm so sorry that the story ended up being a huge-ass nutshell. Oh well.. somethings just need to be told. I'm sick and tired of him getting away with treating people like crap.. with hurting people and not apologizing... with him damaging people.. taking people's love and trust for granted.
So I left Houston without saying goodbye to my dad, my grandmother, and the rest of the family. I always choose to make statements in the worst ways... but I can't really fake my emotions.. and I didn't care to give them the respect and act sad to see them go when they had just disrespected my sister - who I know, respect and love much more than them.
I left my dad a voicemail and sent him an email... but other than that, I haven't really talked to him since before the wedding. I don't know if he cares that I left - he probably doesn't.. it's pretty expected behavior from me honestly. I don't know if he's mad at me and if the whole family things I'm a disrespectful daughter, but whatever. Granted, I've worried about it... but Jim's right. I made my decision and that's that. At least I let my dad know I got to Miami safely. I'm not trying to sever all communication... I just think we've both had our fill of each other... or, mainly that I've just had my fill of him.
So that's that. Happy wedding? It was in the end. Now my sister is off in Hawaii away from all of the drama, and hopefully having some fun..... and bringing me back some lava....
:)
On a happier note, I met up with Adam and Kristian and Kathleen one night when I found some time over the weekend I was there, and it was great. I really miss my good friends. It's hard making friends in college. I only like having a few friends who really know me, share my interests, and kind of understand my "being" ... I believe in having a strong connection with your friends, and I've been realizing how much I miss that connection. With my friend Ana gone and Jim off at work or when I'm alone at work, riding home on the train watching the city through my window, I sometimes feel relaxed, but other times I feel alone. I just want someone to talk to, laugh with, hang out with... Everyone needs people to love them, and I went through a lot over the course of high school with my core group of friends... we were smart, funny, loved music, went to church together, talked about religion, morals, family and saw each other every day for like 12 hours for 5 years. So here's to my good Texas friends, those that I got to see and those that I couldn't and those that I haven't seen or talked to in a few years. I think about y'all all of the time and miss the good ol' days. I can only hope that we stay in touch or that I am lucky to meet friends that are just as good as you were to me in the future.
So how emotional can this entry be? Hmmm? I said it would be epic... I went from happy to angry to nostalgic .... what else can I do?
End it, I guess.
';..;'
My sister is married. I know, it's weird. It didn't seem weird before it happened, but when I actually watched her getting married and after the ceremony, things were different. It wasn't as anticlimactic as I thought would be - like when you turn 20 and everyone's like "so, blah blah, you're no longer a teenager, blah blah, do you feel different?" Of course you don't feel different... you went to sleep and woke up. But even though my sister and her new husband Roy exchanged a few vows, things definitely were different.
I have a brother now. Well, a brother-in-law. But I at least got to hang around Roy more this time in Houston than I have before, and I like him more and more. He's just a good guy. Thank goodness, because if I didn't like him it would piss me off... hehe. But he and my sister have the same sense of humor, the same interests and get along really well - but I think they complement each other nicely from what I've seen so far. I wish them the best.
So I'm glad her wedding went off pretty much perfectly. The weather was perfect, everyone was on their best behavior, etc. I wish there could have been more dancing, but it was ok that way too. Everyone seemed exhausted. I know I was, but the dancing was still fun.
The family drama at the wedding sucked ass. I'm still pissed off about it. I mean, everything turned out ok, but still, it's not fair that my sister had to go through what happened and that my Dad and Agueda got away with what they did, like they always do. I also mainly get pissed off because just when I start trusting him and feeling comfortable and opening up, he goes and effs it up and makes me feel stupid for having faith in him.
So, in a nutshell, with all of the details that I know, here's what happened (I'm explaining it not only for documentation purposes but also because I hate when people reference some scandal or problem in their journals and don't give up the goods. It's a journal - if you're going to write about it, then write about it):
At the wedding rehearsal, we were practicing the processional and we have my sister walking with my dad (as fathers do normally with brides), me walking with the best man since I was the maid of honor, Roy's parents walking together, and then my mom walking with Tim (her much younger new husband). So my dad apparently gets all pissed and starts giving my sister crap while they are walking together in the rehearsal processional. I was in front of them, so I didn't see or hear anything, but apparently it was just stuff about how having Tim walk was disrespectful or disgusting or whatever. Agueda is filming everything and shaking her head the whole time. My sister was visibly upset when I saw her next. And my mom came and told me that she things something was wrong, and Jim told me that everyone saw what happened and that my Dad was upset and being an ass.
So, after that, Agueda (my dad's wife, whom I don't like much at all) pulls Jim aside and starts talking to him, trying to get him to walk with my mom so Tim's not walking with her. And then she starts trying to get Jim to agree with her about how horrible the situation is. Of course, after Jim told her he didn't want to get involved and that it's not that big of a deal - we go off for a walk.
I'm not sure what exactly happened after that since I was walking around with Jim, venting a little, but we walked through the parking lot, I noticed that my dad's van wasn't there. In my head I was like, "there's no way they left..." But if the car wasn't there, they had to leave, the winery we were at was too far away from anything for the them to go somewhere if they forgot to bring a camera or something.
We continued walking through the parking lot and came upon my sister crying and Roy with her. We formed a little congregation in the parking lot, where Roy said they "peeled" off in the van. My sister said he called all of his family (the aunts, uncles and grandmothers) and told them not to come to the rehearsal that night, when my sister had planned to have a get together with snacks, etc.
Meanwhile, Roy's family is inside, like... wtf, mate?
So after a few minutes of venting, anger, and then the eventual development of the "F- it all" sentiment, we unloaded and stuffed two pinatas we had brought and gave them a few whacks. After that, me, my sister, Jim and my sister's friends went out for the night to this game/arcade/mini golf/ laser tag place to have a little fun and cheer up.
On the way home at like 1 am, my dad calls my sister and gives her some lip about not calling and letting them know where she went. -- strike 2
So, that night, we were both kinda pissed, nervous, stressed out, etc. Although it was funny cause I wasn't actually involved in all this -- but I was damned angry at my dad for being so selfish and childish and being such an ass to my sister. I mean, I'm not naive -- I understand why he got angry. But I would think by age 50, you would have gained some maturity and would know the time and the place to have a conniption. But then again, I remind you and myself that this is typical behavior for my dad. So, it doesn't really surprise me that he blew up, but it surprised me that he would do that to my sister on the night before her wedding. What an utter asshole.
So, the next morning, my dad's family pretty much ignores my sister. It's her wedding day and no one says good morning, asks her is she's nervous, excited... no one seems happy. She goes to get breakfast and no one says anything except "Have you seen the cat." My sister cries -- rightfully so. And of course, I am getting more and more infuriated. Mainly cause I want to give all of these people a piece of my mind and tell them all to grow up. BUT ... I know it would only cause more trouble and that I should let my sister deal with this. I don't want to make things worse for her, and there's a possibility that my involvement could do that... or at least just stress her out more. I just sat next to her and listened - I wasn't sure if I should comfort her. I know I hate when people hug me when I'm crying... it just makes me cry more. So I just tried to be there and be supportive.
After that, I packed up all my stuff and told Jim to come get me so I could get ready at my mom's apartment, hang out with them, and then after the wedding I would just stay with her and she would take me to the airport the next morning. I didn't want to be around all of those family members who treated my sister so poorly. I'm sure there was some miscommunication -- once again I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt just because I don't understand why they would be so hurtful. But whatever... maybe they wanted to be mean. I haven't been briefed on the situation, so perhaps I'll never know.
So, in the end, the wedding went well... although I always feel like my dad has to make everything about him. Sobbing during his toast, playing to the crowd... cutting in on my sister's first dance with Roy... This was her time to shine... not his. Now, I don't know if my sister cared.. she's more laid back than me and actually has a decent relationship with my dad... but that would have pissed me off... I would have told him to sit his ass down until I finished my dance. Parading up there like he's father of the year and then walking around and talking about how much he paid for the wedding and all that. The night was a nutshell of all the little things that I don't like about him. He always hurts people in the worst ways at the worst moments.
Ok... I'm so sorry that the story ended up being a huge-ass nutshell. Oh well.. somethings just need to be told. I'm sick and tired of him getting away with treating people like crap.. with hurting people and not apologizing... with him damaging people.. taking people's love and trust for granted.
So I left Houston without saying goodbye to my dad, my grandmother, and the rest of the family. I always choose to make statements in the worst ways... but I can't really fake my emotions.. and I didn't care to give them the respect and act sad to see them go when they had just disrespected my sister - who I know, respect and love much more than them.
I left my dad a voicemail and sent him an email... but other than that, I haven't really talked to him since before the wedding. I don't know if he cares that I left - he probably doesn't.. it's pretty expected behavior from me honestly. I don't know if he's mad at me and if the whole family things I'm a disrespectful daughter, but whatever. Granted, I've worried about it... but Jim's right. I made my decision and that's that. At least I let my dad know I got to Miami safely. I'm not trying to sever all communication... I just think we've both had our fill of each other... or, mainly that I've just had my fill of him.
So that's that. Happy wedding? It was in the end. Now my sister is off in Hawaii away from all of the drama, and hopefully having some fun..... and bringing me back some lava....
:)
On a happier note, I met up with Adam and Kristian and Kathleen one night when I found some time over the weekend I was there, and it was great. I really miss my good friends. It's hard making friends in college. I only like having a few friends who really know me, share my interests, and kind of understand my "being" ... I believe in having a strong connection with your friends, and I've been realizing how much I miss that connection. With my friend Ana gone and Jim off at work or when I'm alone at work, riding home on the train watching the city through my window, I sometimes feel relaxed, but other times I feel alone. I just want someone to talk to, laugh with, hang out with... Everyone needs people to love them, and I went through a lot over the course of high school with my core group of friends... we were smart, funny, loved music, went to church together, talked about religion, morals, family and saw each other every day for like 12 hours for 5 years. So here's to my good Texas friends, those that I got to see and those that I couldn't and those that I haven't seen or talked to in a few years. I think about y'all all of the time and miss the good ol' days. I can only hope that we stay in touch or that I am lucky to meet friends that are just as good as you were to me in the future.
So how emotional can this entry be? Hmmm? I said it would be epic... I went from happy to angry to nostalgic .... what else can I do?
End it, I guess.
';..;'