Lurker here!
Hi! Erm, lurker coming out with ficcy-not-quite-drabble thing. I'm usually over on IJ under the same name, but there is a sad lack of Authority fandom over there.
Sorry if this seems a little OOC, it's the first time I've written for these guys.
Uhm, based after Singapore, before Mindy and the jackhammer had a date.
His mind keeps stuttering over the facts. It's been days since Singapore. Days soaking in the sun, healing, getting used to the feeling of filth under his skin. He knows what happened. He doesn't sleep anymore, the shadows of dreams try to warp the events into worse horrors than the truth.
Midnighter doesn't acknowledge the changes. Everyone else averts their eyes, lowers their voices around him, tries to pretend they aren't effected. He wishes Jenny were there to mock him with her British sarcasm and the stench of her cheap cigarettes.
He's been beaten before. The odds are always against them somehow, and somehow they pull through, but he's been beaten before. He's not afraid of losing. The pain doesn't bother him. It's novel in a way, he doesn't feel pain much anymore courtesy of Bendix and the sun. He's not scared that Midnighter will suddenly hate him and leave, or that he's become weak. He's Apollo. He is the god of the sun and more worlds than one fear his wrath. He can blow up cities, level governments, raze armies.
He's been raped. He was beaten, held down, and violated. He remembers every second in detail; the scent of his own blood, the agonizing tearing of his flesh, the sickly sweet mocking laughter of the man holding him down on the ragged crushed remnants of a Toyota while thrusting like a rutting swine into his backside. His mind replays the experience endlessly, hunting for a reason, an excuse, anything to tell him what it means.
Shen tells him she'll listen, if he needs to talk. Angie leaves journals on psychiatry and tapes expounding on the virtues of not being a victim around the Carrier. Jack offers to take him to a hockey game. Jeroen is un-remarkably absent.
He's not a victim. He was raped, yes, but he refuses to use the term victim. He is not powerless, he will not move on from this a better, wiser man.
Midnighter understands. They talk, in the darkness that has come to define their more intimate moments. Apollo talks, not about what has happened to him, but what will happen to the man who hurt him. Midnighter talks, not of strength or time or healing, but of simple love.
What does it mean, this series of events perpetrated against his body by a super powered freak in spandex? What does it mean that he was powerless, pinned and forced to endure another's violent lust? He was used; a battered receptacle for another male's semen.
Apollo's mind can not grip the ramifications of his rape in any form the others of his team can comprehend. He was built by Bendix to be what he is, and he has chosen to be who he wants, and between these two things the abuse means less than nothing. It means there is another bastard out there who will die a very spectacular and painful death. It means he must be more cautious in the future.
To the world the rape of an Authority member means very much. To Apollo and The Midnighter, it means they need to find a jackhammer.
Sorry if this seems a little OOC, it's the first time I've written for these guys.
Uhm, based after Singapore, before Mindy and the jackhammer had a date.
His mind keeps stuttering over the facts. It's been days since Singapore. Days soaking in the sun, healing, getting used to the feeling of filth under his skin. He knows what happened. He doesn't sleep anymore, the shadows of dreams try to warp the events into worse horrors than the truth.
Midnighter doesn't acknowledge the changes. Everyone else averts their eyes, lowers their voices around him, tries to pretend they aren't effected. He wishes Jenny were there to mock him with her British sarcasm and the stench of her cheap cigarettes.
He's been beaten before. The odds are always against them somehow, and somehow they pull through, but he's been beaten before. He's not afraid of losing. The pain doesn't bother him. It's novel in a way, he doesn't feel pain much anymore courtesy of Bendix and the sun. He's not scared that Midnighter will suddenly hate him and leave, or that he's become weak. He's Apollo. He is the god of the sun and more worlds than one fear his wrath. He can blow up cities, level governments, raze armies.
He's been raped. He was beaten, held down, and violated. He remembers every second in detail; the scent of his own blood, the agonizing tearing of his flesh, the sickly sweet mocking laughter of the man holding him down on the ragged crushed remnants of a Toyota while thrusting like a rutting swine into his backside. His mind replays the experience endlessly, hunting for a reason, an excuse, anything to tell him what it means.
Shen tells him she'll listen, if he needs to talk. Angie leaves journals on psychiatry and tapes expounding on the virtues of not being a victim around the Carrier. Jack offers to take him to a hockey game. Jeroen is un-remarkably absent.
He's not a victim. He was raped, yes, but he refuses to use the term victim. He is not powerless, he will not move on from this a better, wiser man.
Midnighter understands. They talk, in the darkness that has come to define their more intimate moments. Apollo talks, not about what has happened to him, but what will happen to the man who hurt him. Midnighter talks, not of strength or time or healing, but of simple love.
What does it mean, this series of events perpetrated against his body by a super powered freak in spandex? What does it mean that he was powerless, pinned and forced to endure another's violent lust? He was used; a battered receptacle for another male's semen.
Apollo's mind can not grip the ramifications of his rape in any form the others of his team can comprehend. He was built by Bendix to be what he is, and he has chosen to be who he wants, and between these two things the abuse means less than nothing. It means there is another bastard out there who will die a very spectacular and painful death. It means he must be more cautious in the future.
To the world the rape of an Authority member means very much. To Apollo and The Midnighter, it means they need to find a jackhammer.