Fic: Happy Days Are Here Again - 6/?
Title: Happy Days Are Here Again - 6/?
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
Finn completely lifts my spirits and eases my fears. I feel beautiful when Finn says that I’m beautiful because he’s simply honest. Before the wedding, Burt calls Finn over. I am pretty close by, so I see just how nervous the man is. I can’t imagine getting married to the love of my life, honestly. I guess it’s a dream too far in the future for me, because there is so much that comes first, but I can see the nerves. Nerves, I understand.
“Good luck today, Mr. Hummel,” I say politely. “You look fantastic and are going to do awesome.”
He smiles. “Thank you very much, I appreciate that.”
Finn helps him fix himself up and I wait. I wait, knowing this event is huge in the lives of two of the most important people to me.
The wedding is wonderful. Burt and Carole asked the glee club to sing for their wedding and we all do a fantastic job. Everyone is so happy. Finn’s best man speech is one of the most heartwarming things that I’ve ever heard in my life. In it, he talks to his mother and thanks Kurt for becoming his brother. I can see that he’s really learned a lot by being so close to Kurt. I can relate to him there because I most definitely have learned a lot being close to Kurt myself.
After the wedding, Kurt and I spend a little time alone, as Finn seems nervous about something. I did see him hanging around Santana near the beginning of it, so I hope she hasn’t done anything to upset him. There is a little park just outside of the church where Burt and Carole were married so we go to the swings. “You did so well planning this,” I say.
“Thank you,” Kurt says, looking satisfied with the way everything wound up. “I’m really proud of myself. I’m also really proud of Finn. I never imagined that he would come through for me like that. I am really, really thankful.”
“Gosh, now we’re on to Sectionals,” I say. I know that it’s hard for me to talk about things not related to glee club and I probably shouldn’t have gone back to talking glee right after Kurt’s father’s wedding, but at the same time it’s something to talk about. He lights up at the words so thankfully I haven’t caused any offense. “This year is going by so fast. I know we’ll do fantastic this time.”
Kurt nods. “Of course,” he says.
Our sectionals competition indeed does come fast. The day after the wedding, Mr. Schuester assigns the songs. “This time, for sectionals, I want to change things up a little,” he says. I never realized exactly how different “different” could be. Mr. Schuester assigns the duet to Quinn and Sam, the solo number to Santana and a huge dance number during Santana’s solo to Mike and Brittany. He purposely avoids my eyes as he speaks.
I am horrified. I want to leave the room. I open my mouth to speak but Kurt cuts me off. “Santana’s voice will be lovely on that song,” he says, giving me a look that says not to do it. I am struggling but I keep my mouth shut. Ugh. It hurts. I don’t think that the glee club stands a chance without me on vocals! Or do we? I’m so conflicted. I don’t know what to do. It’s absolutely horrible.
Thanks to Kurt, I stay good. I don’t say a word even though my mind is screaming objections. I give Quinn helpful hints on how to strengthen her vocals, which of course, leads to her staring at me. It’s good advice. “Quinn,” I say, “there’s no way that we can win if your vocals aren’t up to par. You need to start rehearsing every day if the poor choice to have you and Sam sing is to be justified.”
After rehearsal, I have to leave. I have to be alone for awhile.
It doesn’t work that way as Kurt follows me outside. He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I’m a little pissed off about being passed up myself,” he says. I have to admit that I didn’t even consider that another person might feel passed over. “It’s okay though Rachel. It’ll give us both time to relax and focus on the group meetings. Those are really important and are going to take some time and energy from us.”
I know he’s right.
We are fantastic at sectionals. I have to admit to that. The other groups don’t stand a chance. I go on despite my lack of attention. Then, through cruelties I won’t describe, I am hit with a bombshell far bigger than Sectionals to me, even though performance means everything to me. We win, well, we tie with a silly group of boys from a stupid private school, but it comes out.
Finn slept with Santana. I don't really know how to handle that. Yes, we weren't together but at the same time he lied to me. I lied too but I eventually came through and told him the truth. "Finn, how could you?" I ask and I know it's not the fact that he did it, but jealousy that breaks my heart. Santana, like Quinn, is pretty, perfect and has a vagina. It's something I can't give Finn, not now at least. He slept with a girl who could give him everything. "You lied..."
"You lied too, Rachel," he says.
"I was afraid, Finn, and I told you the truth eventually." I panic. I can’t handle this. Finn really belongs with a normal girl. He belongs with a normal girl that isn’t me. I can’t take it. I can’t believe that he did this to me. I can’t help the creeping feeling, even though I know it’s false, that I deserve it.
"You didn't tell me you used to be a guy."
My stomach drops. He's really going to bring this into play now? He said he'd be okay with me being how I am. I shut my eyes. All of the self-doubt is something I have to force out, but it leaves when he says those words. That is not okay. I’ve worked too hard for everything that I have. I’ve struggled far too much for some boy to tell me that I used to be a guy. "Finn Hudson, I have never, not once in my life been a guy. I'm a girl. I'm always going to be a girl, even if I'm no Santana."
“Rachel, I didn’t mean…”
I don’t care. I walk off, right back onto our busses. I sit at the back, daring anyone to come sit next to me.
The only one brave enough is, of course, Kurt. He watched the explosion as I found out Finn’s secret, but not what followed. “Rachel, you and Finn weren’t together when he was with Santana,” he lectures gently. “As much as I find Finn’s choice to sleep with Santana distasteful, surely you understand that you were involved with Jesse at the time.”
I look up. I don’t want him to see me cry but frankly, it’s hard to care. “It’s not the fact that he slept with her,” I say, “or the fact that he lied to me and said he didn’t go through with it. It’s the fact that when I got mad at him for lying to me, he said that I lied to him, by never telling him that I ‘used to be a guy,’ Kurt.”
He opens his mouth but closes it again as he begins to understand what I’m saying to him. “Oh Rachel,” he says. “C’mon, let’s not think about Finn right now.” He looks up over my head and I know he’s probably looking at the very boy who broke my heart. “We just won Sectionals. Well, we tied but you know what I mean. Our petition has just about enough signatures and Coach Beiste has agreed to supervise the club. Everything is going perfect right now.”
He’s right, of course. It is perfect. Finn or no Finn.
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
Finn completely lifts my spirits and eases my fears. I feel beautiful when Finn says that I’m beautiful because he’s simply honest. Before the wedding, Burt calls Finn over. I am pretty close by, so I see just how nervous the man is. I can’t imagine getting married to the love of my life, honestly. I guess it’s a dream too far in the future for me, because there is so much that comes first, but I can see the nerves. Nerves, I understand.
“Good luck today, Mr. Hummel,” I say politely. “You look fantastic and are going to do awesome.”
He smiles. “Thank you very much, I appreciate that.”
Finn helps him fix himself up and I wait. I wait, knowing this event is huge in the lives of two of the most important people to me.
The wedding is wonderful. Burt and Carole asked the glee club to sing for their wedding and we all do a fantastic job. Everyone is so happy. Finn’s best man speech is one of the most heartwarming things that I’ve ever heard in my life. In it, he talks to his mother and thanks Kurt for becoming his brother. I can see that he’s really learned a lot by being so close to Kurt. I can relate to him there because I most definitely have learned a lot being close to Kurt myself.
After the wedding, Kurt and I spend a little time alone, as Finn seems nervous about something. I did see him hanging around Santana near the beginning of it, so I hope she hasn’t done anything to upset him. There is a little park just outside of the church where Burt and Carole were married so we go to the swings. “You did so well planning this,” I say.
“Thank you,” Kurt says, looking satisfied with the way everything wound up. “I’m really proud of myself. I’m also really proud of Finn. I never imagined that he would come through for me like that. I am really, really thankful.”
“Gosh, now we’re on to Sectionals,” I say. I know that it’s hard for me to talk about things not related to glee club and I probably shouldn’t have gone back to talking glee right after Kurt’s father’s wedding, but at the same time it’s something to talk about. He lights up at the words so thankfully I haven’t caused any offense. “This year is going by so fast. I know we’ll do fantastic this time.”
Kurt nods. “Of course,” he says.
Our sectionals competition indeed does come fast. The day after the wedding, Mr. Schuester assigns the songs. “This time, for sectionals, I want to change things up a little,” he says. I never realized exactly how different “different” could be. Mr. Schuester assigns the duet to Quinn and Sam, the solo number to Santana and a huge dance number during Santana’s solo to Mike and Brittany. He purposely avoids my eyes as he speaks.
I am horrified. I want to leave the room. I open my mouth to speak but Kurt cuts me off. “Santana’s voice will be lovely on that song,” he says, giving me a look that says not to do it. I am struggling but I keep my mouth shut. Ugh. It hurts. I don’t think that the glee club stands a chance without me on vocals! Or do we? I’m so conflicted. I don’t know what to do. It’s absolutely horrible.
Thanks to Kurt, I stay good. I don’t say a word even though my mind is screaming objections. I give Quinn helpful hints on how to strengthen her vocals, which of course, leads to her staring at me. It’s good advice. “Quinn,” I say, “there’s no way that we can win if your vocals aren’t up to par. You need to start rehearsing every day if the poor choice to have you and Sam sing is to be justified.”
After rehearsal, I have to leave. I have to be alone for awhile.
It doesn’t work that way as Kurt follows me outside. He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I’m a little pissed off about being passed up myself,” he says. I have to admit that I didn’t even consider that another person might feel passed over. “It’s okay though Rachel. It’ll give us both time to relax and focus on the group meetings. Those are really important and are going to take some time and energy from us.”
I know he’s right.
We are fantastic at sectionals. I have to admit to that. The other groups don’t stand a chance. I go on despite my lack of attention. Then, through cruelties I won’t describe, I am hit with a bombshell far bigger than Sectionals to me, even though performance means everything to me. We win, well, we tie with a silly group of boys from a stupid private school, but it comes out.
Finn slept with Santana. I don't really know how to handle that. Yes, we weren't together but at the same time he lied to me. I lied too but I eventually came through and told him the truth. "Finn, how could you?" I ask and I know it's not the fact that he did it, but jealousy that breaks my heart. Santana, like Quinn, is pretty, perfect and has a vagina. It's something I can't give Finn, not now at least. He slept with a girl who could give him everything. "You lied..."
"You lied too, Rachel," he says.
"I was afraid, Finn, and I told you the truth eventually." I panic. I can’t handle this. Finn really belongs with a normal girl. He belongs with a normal girl that isn’t me. I can’t take it. I can’t believe that he did this to me. I can’t help the creeping feeling, even though I know it’s false, that I deserve it.
"You didn't tell me you used to be a guy."
My stomach drops. He's really going to bring this into play now? He said he'd be okay with me being how I am. I shut my eyes. All of the self-doubt is something I have to force out, but it leaves when he says those words. That is not okay. I’ve worked too hard for everything that I have. I’ve struggled far too much for some boy to tell me that I used to be a guy. "Finn Hudson, I have never, not once in my life been a guy. I'm a girl. I'm always going to be a girl, even if I'm no Santana."
“Rachel, I didn’t mean…”
I don’t care. I walk off, right back onto our busses. I sit at the back, daring anyone to come sit next to me.
The only one brave enough is, of course, Kurt. He watched the explosion as I found out Finn’s secret, but not what followed. “Rachel, you and Finn weren’t together when he was with Santana,” he lectures gently. “As much as I find Finn’s choice to sleep with Santana distasteful, surely you understand that you were involved with Jesse at the time.”
I look up. I don’t want him to see me cry but frankly, it’s hard to care. “It’s not the fact that he slept with her,” I say, “or the fact that he lied to me and said he didn’t go through with it. It’s the fact that when I got mad at him for lying to me, he said that I lied to him, by never telling him that I ‘used to be a guy,’ Kurt.”
He opens his mouth but closes it again as he begins to understand what I’m saying to him. “Oh Rachel,” he says. “C’mon, let’s not think about Finn right now.” He looks up over my head and I know he’s probably looking at the very boy who broke my heart. “We just won Sectionals. Well, we tied but you know what I mean. Our petition has just about enough signatures and Coach Beiste has agreed to supervise the club. Everything is going perfect right now.”
He’s right, of course. It is perfect. Finn or no Finn.