Fic: Happy Days Are Here Again - 4/?
Title: Happy Days Are Here Again - 4/?
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
Finn is slowly adjusting to finding out that I’m transgendered, but at the same time he’s starting to put a distance between us. I hope that it’s just because he needs time to process everything. After all, Finn is a very literal minded individual. He acted like he didn’t believe me until I showed him pictures of me as a child. The small child in those pictures definitely appeared to be a boy, even though she was a girl.
“This is really weird, and hard to deal with,” Finn told me. I have to agree with him on that one, even now. I can’t expect perfection right now but he hasn’t dumped me.
I have been focusing some of my energy onto Kurt, lately, because of the sadness I see in him. Something isn’t quite right with him. I think that he’s being bullied even worse than he was before. I sit him down after glee rehearsal to really talk about it, because whenever I bring it up in a more public venue, he freaks out and tries to get away from me.
"Bullying at McKinley is getting out of hand," I say, looking Kurt in the eye. He's shaky and his eyes are shimmer with tears at just the mention of bullying. I know the situation with Karofsky is worse than any of the bullying he'd experienced so far. I focus on Kurt's fear, pain and worry and it makes me stop worrying about Finn. I am giving Finn time. Kurt needs me. "I think that it's time that someone, meaning us, stood up and took a stand about it."
"What can we really do, Rachel?" Kurt asks. "I mean this school turns a blind eye to everything."
I know he's right.
“We can try and rally the students together,” I say, even though it seems like such a big task. “I know that the adults here are useless. Even Mr. Schuester doesn’t notice or seem to care when someone shoves you around or any of us get slushies to the face. We can’t really just keep sitting here and taking it.”
“You’re right Rachel,” Kurt says, taking my hand. “I’m scared.”
I know that Kurt doesn’t say that easily. I start making plans in my head, because well, Kurt is my best friend and I need to take care of him. I go home that night and start making a lot of plans. I plan exactly who we can involve in this and who will be our biggest oppositions. It’s hard to fight bullying when the cheerleading coach slams kids into lockers as much as the resident bully. I spend a lot of time in my room planning when there is a knock on the door. About five minutes later, I hear Finn’s voice and come downstairs, wondering why my dads didn’t tell me when Finn was there.
“Finn?” I ask, coming into the room.
“-and you’re a lucky boy to have my daughter in your life.”
Oh god. He’s lecturing Finn. I stop in front of my dad and shake my head. I almost regret telling them that I told Finn, but they were the ones who’d been encouraging me to tell my boyfriend for months. “Dad,” I say. “Finn doesn’t need to be lectured. He’s a very good person and a good boyfriend to me. H-he always has been.” I really worry whether or not Finn will stay with me now, but at the same time I have to respect Finn for all the things he’s done in the past. He’s been good to me.
“Rachel,” my dad says.
“It’s okay,” I say, kissing his cheek. “Can you leave Finn and I alone for just a moment? He obviously came here to talk about something.”
I convince my father to leave and then it is just the two of us. Finn looks at me nervously. “Rachel,” he says, “I-uh, I’ve really sucked for staying away from you the last few days. I was just confused and didn’t know how to think about this. Kurt put all of these websites in my computer bookmarks and I’ve been going through them as best as I can. I think that I’m starting to understand it now. It’s not like anything I’ve ever known before but I think I get it. I was being dumb. I still love you Rachel and I don’t care about something as…um…”
“Superficial?” I ask.
He nods.
“Something as superficial as your body,” he says. “I really love you Rachel.”
I smile. This is everything that I’d hoped he would say. I lean up and press a kiss to his lips. He kisses me back and I literally want to squeal with delight. It’s romantic, it’s perfect and Finn’s not leaving me because of my stupid body.
He pulls back but his hand is still on my cheek. “I’m also sorry for pressuring you to do stuff,” Finn says quickly. “Kurt and I talked about that too and even if you weren’t transgendered then that’d still be pretty scummy.”
I smile at that.
“Thank you Finn,” I say. “Truth be told, I am very much ready psychologically. I love you. I’m just not quite there physically because of my issues with my body. I’m sorry.”
He hugs me close. I always love the way that hugging Finn makes me feel. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, leaning up against my shoulder. “Oh, Rachel, I also have some really good news to tell you. I just found out today that my mom and Burt are getting married.”
I smile as our hug breaks. “Finn, that’s fantastic!”
He nods. “It really is,” he says. “I was really weirded out by Burt and my mom getting together last year, but honestly, Mom’s found the guy for her, which is kind of awesome. Kurt’s absolutely crazy right now over wedding planning and stuff. I know that he’s going to handle the whole thing. We’re also going to be moving to a big house after the wedding.”
“That’s awesome Finn. I’m so happy for you guys.”
After Finn heads home, I call Kurt. I am surprised that I haven’t heard about the wedding from him first. It’s Kurt, the same Kurt who is the wedding planner for the event! “Kurt,” I say, the minute that he picks up the phone. “Finn was just here, being oh-so-incredibly sweet to me, and he told me about your parents’ wedding! That’s the most awesome thing ever.”
“I know, isn’t it Rachel?””
Kurt sounds excited but there is something beneath it. "I mean, I was a little scared of letting Dad go in that way but, well, Carole is good for him. She takes care of him and is so sweet and well, she's letting me play wedding planner, so I absolutely love her.”
"That's so cool, Kurt," I say. "I bet it'll be a beautiful wedding. They know what they're doing trusting in you."
"Yeah," he mumbles.
"Kurt," I say, "is something wrong?" I am working on being more sensitive. Kurt’s my best friend and there’s something wrong with him. I could tell for weeks now and I really just have to do something.
“I’m fine Rachel,” he says seriously, practically snapping it out at me. “I’m just under a lot of stress right now and I guess that can make me seem a little preoccupied.”
“Kurt, something changed,” I say softly, trying to make sure that I sound as gentle as I possibly can. “I think that in the last two weeks something changed. I can’t even begin to understand what, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Thanks to you, I was able to tell Finn something that has been plaguing me for the entire time we’ve been together and our relationship is going to work out. I would do anything for you.”
Kurt is quiet when he says, “Rachel, it’s really not a big deal. I shouldn’t.”
“You can trust me,” I say.
“You’re not very good at keeping secrets,” he points out. This is true, unfortunately. I have always been very bad at keeping people’s secrets. It is just a natural flair for drama and gossip, I suppose, but I am trying my best right now to become a new Rachel Berry, one who depends on and takes care of her friends.
“I’ll keep it, Kurt.”
Kurt’s breathing hitches a little. He sounds like he’s going to cry. “Rachel,” he says. “Swear to me you won’t tell anyone.”
“I swear.”
“Karofsky was being himself, you know, shoving me into my locker when I lost it,” he says softly. “I got right in his face and asked him what his problem with me was. He’s worse than any other jerk at this school and I wanted to know why.”
“Oh my god Kurt,” I yell. Dave Karofsky is like twice Kurt’s size and dangerous. Why would Kurt think that doing such a thing was even near okay? “Kurt, you could have been absolutely brutalized with a jock that size, getting in his face and everything.”
“He kissed me Rachel.”
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
Finn is slowly adjusting to finding out that I’m transgendered, but at the same time he’s starting to put a distance between us. I hope that it’s just because he needs time to process everything. After all, Finn is a very literal minded individual. He acted like he didn’t believe me until I showed him pictures of me as a child. The small child in those pictures definitely appeared to be a boy, even though she was a girl.
“This is really weird, and hard to deal with,” Finn told me. I have to agree with him on that one, even now. I can’t expect perfection right now but he hasn’t dumped me.
I have been focusing some of my energy onto Kurt, lately, because of the sadness I see in him. Something isn’t quite right with him. I think that he’s being bullied even worse than he was before. I sit him down after glee rehearsal to really talk about it, because whenever I bring it up in a more public venue, he freaks out and tries to get away from me.
"Bullying at McKinley is getting out of hand," I say, looking Kurt in the eye. He's shaky and his eyes are shimmer with tears at just the mention of bullying. I know the situation with Karofsky is worse than any of the bullying he'd experienced so far. I focus on Kurt's fear, pain and worry and it makes me stop worrying about Finn. I am giving Finn time. Kurt needs me. "I think that it's time that someone, meaning us, stood up and took a stand about it."
"What can we really do, Rachel?" Kurt asks. "I mean this school turns a blind eye to everything."
I know he's right.
“We can try and rally the students together,” I say, even though it seems like such a big task. “I know that the adults here are useless. Even Mr. Schuester doesn’t notice or seem to care when someone shoves you around or any of us get slushies to the face. We can’t really just keep sitting here and taking it.”
“You’re right Rachel,” Kurt says, taking my hand. “I’m scared.”
I know that Kurt doesn’t say that easily. I start making plans in my head, because well, Kurt is my best friend and I need to take care of him. I go home that night and start making a lot of plans. I plan exactly who we can involve in this and who will be our biggest oppositions. It’s hard to fight bullying when the cheerleading coach slams kids into lockers as much as the resident bully. I spend a lot of time in my room planning when there is a knock on the door. About five minutes later, I hear Finn’s voice and come downstairs, wondering why my dads didn’t tell me when Finn was there.
“Finn?” I ask, coming into the room.
“-and you’re a lucky boy to have my daughter in your life.”
Oh god. He’s lecturing Finn. I stop in front of my dad and shake my head. I almost regret telling them that I told Finn, but they were the ones who’d been encouraging me to tell my boyfriend for months. “Dad,” I say. “Finn doesn’t need to be lectured. He’s a very good person and a good boyfriend to me. H-he always has been.” I really worry whether or not Finn will stay with me now, but at the same time I have to respect Finn for all the things he’s done in the past. He’s been good to me.
“Rachel,” my dad says.
“It’s okay,” I say, kissing his cheek. “Can you leave Finn and I alone for just a moment? He obviously came here to talk about something.”
I convince my father to leave and then it is just the two of us. Finn looks at me nervously. “Rachel,” he says, “I-uh, I’ve really sucked for staying away from you the last few days. I was just confused and didn’t know how to think about this. Kurt put all of these websites in my computer bookmarks and I’ve been going through them as best as I can. I think that I’m starting to understand it now. It’s not like anything I’ve ever known before but I think I get it. I was being dumb. I still love you Rachel and I don’t care about something as…um…”
“Superficial?” I ask.
He nods.
“Something as superficial as your body,” he says. “I really love you Rachel.”
I smile. This is everything that I’d hoped he would say. I lean up and press a kiss to his lips. He kisses me back and I literally want to squeal with delight. It’s romantic, it’s perfect and Finn’s not leaving me because of my stupid body.
He pulls back but his hand is still on my cheek. “I’m also sorry for pressuring you to do stuff,” Finn says quickly. “Kurt and I talked about that too and even if you weren’t transgendered then that’d still be pretty scummy.”
I smile at that.
“Thank you Finn,” I say. “Truth be told, I am very much ready psychologically. I love you. I’m just not quite there physically because of my issues with my body. I’m sorry.”
He hugs me close. I always love the way that hugging Finn makes me feel. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, leaning up against my shoulder. “Oh, Rachel, I also have some really good news to tell you. I just found out today that my mom and Burt are getting married.”
I smile as our hug breaks. “Finn, that’s fantastic!”
He nods. “It really is,” he says. “I was really weirded out by Burt and my mom getting together last year, but honestly, Mom’s found the guy for her, which is kind of awesome. Kurt’s absolutely crazy right now over wedding planning and stuff. I know that he’s going to handle the whole thing. We’re also going to be moving to a big house after the wedding.”
“That’s awesome Finn. I’m so happy for you guys.”
After Finn heads home, I call Kurt. I am surprised that I haven’t heard about the wedding from him first. It’s Kurt, the same Kurt who is the wedding planner for the event! “Kurt,” I say, the minute that he picks up the phone. “Finn was just here, being oh-so-incredibly sweet to me, and he told me about your parents’ wedding! That’s the most awesome thing ever.”
“I know, isn’t it Rachel?””
Kurt sounds excited but there is something beneath it. "I mean, I was a little scared of letting Dad go in that way but, well, Carole is good for him. She takes care of him and is so sweet and well, she's letting me play wedding planner, so I absolutely love her.”
"That's so cool, Kurt," I say. "I bet it'll be a beautiful wedding. They know what they're doing trusting in you."
"Yeah," he mumbles.
"Kurt," I say, "is something wrong?" I am working on being more sensitive. Kurt’s my best friend and there’s something wrong with him. I could tell for weeks now and I really just have to do something.
“I’m fine Rachel,” he says seriously, practically snapping it out at me. “I’m just under a lot of stress right now and I guess that can make me seem a little preoccupied.”
“Kurt, something changed,” I say softly, trying to make sure that I sound as gentle as I possibly can. “I think that in the last two weeks something changed. I can’t even begin to understand what, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Thanks to you, I was able to tell Finn something that has been plaguing me for the entire time we’ve been together and our relationship is going to work out. I would do anything for you.”
Kurt is quiet when he says, “Rachel, it’s really not a big deal. I shouldn’t.”
“You can trust me,” I say.
“You’re not very good at keeping secrets,” he points out. This is true, unfortunately. I have always been very bad at keeping people’s secrets. It is just a natural flair for drama and gossip, I suppose, but I am trying my best right now to become a new Rachel Berry, one who depends on and takes care of her friends.
“I’ll keep it, Kurt.”
Kurt’s breathing hitches a little. He sounds like he’s going to cry. “Rachel,” he says. “Swear to me you won’t tell anyone.”
“I swear.”
“Karofsky was being himself, you know, shoving me into my locker when I lost it,” he says softly. “I got right in his face and asked him what his problem with me was. He’s worse than any other jerk at this school and I wanted to know why.”
“Oh my god Kurt,” I yell. Dave Karofsky is like twice Kurt’s size and dangerous. Why would Kurt think that doing such a thing was even near okay? “Kurt, you could have been absolutely brutalized with a jock that size, getting in his face and everything.”
“He kissed me Rachel.”