Fic: Of Wishes and Dresses (21/?)
Title: Of Wishes and Dresses - Chapter Twenty-One
Genre: Angst / Drama
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mike/Tina friendship, Mika/Sam
Summary: Mike Mika Chang was a girl; her body just didn't agree with that assessment.
At lunch, Mika sat with Sam and answered his questions about the time she spent in Columbus with a bright smile on her face that she could not hide. “It went really well,” she said, leaning slightly against his shoulder. Sam took that cue and wrapped his arm around her, leaving her absolutely beaming. “I met another girl like me which honestly changed a lot. It made me feel like I wasn’t so alone and that there were other people going through all of the things that are happening in my head.”
“I’m so happy for you,” Sam said. “I’ve been thinking about you all weekend.”
“What were you thinking?” she responded, curious.
“I have to admit that I’ve never felt so drawn to someone,” he said, blushing as the words left his mouth. “It’s kind of scary finding someone so intensely important so fast.”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t even know how to thank you Sam.”
“For what?” he asked, genuinely looking as though he did not know.
“For making me feel more comfortable in my own skin,” she said. “You treat me so well and you make my confidence go way up.”
“It’s only natural,” Sam said, shrugging. He leaned over and gave her a mischievous look. Then Sam was kissing her and Mika’s head spun in absolute circles. It was amazing, the way that his lips felt brushing innocently against hers and the way that he didn’t seem to care that people were staring and that he was kissing her in public. Sam had developed so much in the past couple of weeks, leaps and bounds away from the boy he was when they first met.
“Oh my god that is so cute!”
Mika broke away from the kiss to see that they were being joined by Tina and Brittany. Brittany was absolutely gushing as she sat down cross legged on the bench next to them. “Oh my god, you guys are the cutest couple that I have ever seen in my whole life. It’s just completely adorable.”
“I agree,” Tina said sweetly. Mika was glad that the tensions between them were slowly starting to leave. Tina was an amazing best friend and an even better sister.
“We’re not a…” Mika paused and then looked at Sam. “Are we?”
“I’d like to be.”
“Okay then we are a couple,” she said decisively, feeling stronger than ever.
They sat in silence for a little while, before Mika mentioned the first thing that came to mind which was of course, glee stuff. “Did you notice how off we were last week, practicing that one routine? I know I’ve been off my game as far as choreography but I’m starting to worry. If Aural Intensity has kept up the same showmanship that they displayed last year at Regionals then we have something to worry about.”
“Now they have Coach Sylvester on their side,” Tina agreed.
“It’s not the dancing exactly,” Sam observed. “It’s the fact that we don’t have a strong family dynamic anymore. We used to like take care of each other, even the people in glee that we weren’t close to. Now there’s this sort of divide that’s hurting us…”
“We’re split in two,” Brittany agreed softly. “I think it has to do with Mika and how people reacted to her.”
Mika flinched. It was blunt, but Brittany was definitely telling the truth. The differing reactions over her coming out as transgendered definitely lead to the divide. People were afraid of her, disliking while quietly tolerating her and it was uncomfortable. Quinn giving her death glares was particularly unnerving during rehearsals, especially when as the choreographer she worked pretty intimately with the other kids.
“Quinn’s been really driving me crazy,” she admitted. “Every time I get close to her she looks like I’m not worthy of walking on the same ground as she does.”
Sam scowled at the mention of her. Tina looked at Sam and nodded. “She has no right,” Tina said sadly. “She would be absolutely nothing without the help that this glee club gave her last year when she was pregnant.”
“That’s true,” Brittany mumbled. “She’s so mean. Mika is so amazing. How can someone be rude to her?”
“People suck,” Tina said.
“At least Finn has learned the decency to shut up,” Sam said, his voice tense.
“That’d be Kurt’s doing, I’m sure,” Tina mused, looking from Sam to Mika. “If Kurt’s isolating Finn enough, well, the cold-shoulder from Kurt Hummel is enough to get anyone to shut their mouths.”
“I hate that I cared so much what that bastard had to say,” Sam snapped, obviously anguished by this.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it Sam,” Mika said quickly. “I’m tough, I’ll survive. I just wish there was a way that we could get the New Directions family back to what it used to be. I used to really feel like I belonged there and I don’t anymore. It’s sad.”
“I think we need to come out and say it,” Sam told her.
“I agree,” Brittany said vacantly. “Being in glee used to be like a big family but it’s not anymore.”
“We should do something today.”
Mika tensed a little bit and nodded. “Maybe. Let’s see, take it as it comes, alright?”
They agreed to just take it as it came and see what happened but they were all obviously feeling the strain.
When Mika arrived at rehearsal three hours later, the tensions that they’d spoken of at lunch were completely obvious. Quinn and Finn were sitting at the opposite end of the choir room, close together. Santana was pretty close to them, lingering in the seat one level above. Mika could just feel the glares from the half of the glee club that couldn’t accept who she was.
Mr. Schuester walked in a few minutes afterward and before Sam could open his mouth to speak, like Mika sensed he wanted to, she raised her hand.
“Yes Mike…Mika…”
“I’m tired of being the cause of my family’s sudden divide,” Mika said softly, shaking her head a little bit. “I would really like it if anyone who has a problem with me would raise their hand.”
Quinn immediately raised her hand, looking at Mika as if she was daring her to defy that. Finn’s went up too, immediately after his sort-of girlfriend’s. Santana raised her hand defensively. Mercedes also raised her hand, more hesitantly but it was there all the same.
Mika breathed deeply.
“Mika, please, this isn’t a discussion we should…”
She turned to her teacher. “Mr. Schue, you’ve always prided in us being a family here in glee club,” she said. “Our family is breaking because people can’t handle the fact that I’m transgendered.”
“I can’t change opinions that your peers hold.”
“Hating me for who I am isn’t an opinion,” Mika said softly. “Quinn, you’re the younger daughter of Judy and Russell Fabray and sometimes you feel like you can never live up to your older sister. You cried for three weeks after you gave up your daughter, non-stop. You love the color purple and like to doodle fairytale characters on your math notebook.”
She breathed deeper and looked to Finn, continuing to rant. “Finn, you’re desperately afraid of driving, even though you feel like it takes cool points off of you. You always wanted a family but were scared to death when your mother married Kurt’s father. You never knew your dad but you’ve always tried to be someone that he could be proud of. You really would love to work in some kind of criminology field but you don’t feel like you’re smart enough to make the grades, even though I know you are.”
She looked to Mercedes and Santana, her other two opposition leaders, but she decided to leave them be, because she had rattled off enough and the only secrets she knew about them were far too deep to air out.
She swallowed and looked down. “I know a lot more about you guys than you ever knew about me, because I was always so quiet,” she admitted. “I’m Mika Chang, born Mike. I’m seventeen; I love to dance and want to open a studio some day. My fears include closed spaces and farm animals, thanks to a pig incident when I was five. My parents kicked me out of the house this year, but I live with my new family, Mari and Daniel Cohen-Chang, who I consider my parents and my sister Tina. I’m a girl with a penis.”
Mika exhaled and returned to Sam’s side. “I just want us all to be friends again,” she whispered.
Sam held her hand tightly in his.
Nothing else interesting happened throughout practice. The tension seemed to reach its peak, because Mika felt as though she could barely breathe the whole entire time.
It was only at the end of practice when Mika felt like she had made an impact. As she and Sam walked out of the choir room, they were followed by Finn.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Um. Things have been really tense at home. Kurt refuses to talk to me at all, except when mom makes him and uh, I’m sorry.”
Sam immediately jumped to Mika’s defense, before she even had a moment to get offended. “Your discomfort is not why you should apologize to her,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said, deeply. “You’re - really a girl aren’t you?”
Mika nodded.
“Finn,” she said. “Someone’s genitalia doesn’t equal their gender. What would you do if the closest person with gender issues wasn’t me? What would you do if Puck told you that he was a girl, or Rachel decided that she didn’t embrace either gender as hers? What would you do if it was anyone but that quiet Asian dude you took forgranted who found out she was girl?”
Finn was quiet for a long time. He looked seriously repentant. He struggled with his words. “Mika, I’m…sorry,” he said, using her real name. “I am.”
Genre: Angst / Drama
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mike/Tina friendship, Mika/Sam
Summary: Mike Mika Chang was a girl; her body just didn't agree with that assessment.
At lunch, Mika sat with Sam and answered his questions about the time she spent in Columbus with a bright smile on her face that she could not hide. “It went really well,” she said, leaning slightly against his shoulder. Sam took that cue and wrapped his arm around her, leaving her absolutely beaming. “I met another girl like me which honestly changed a lot. It made me feel like I wasn’t so alone and that there were other people going through all of the things that are happening in my head.”
“I’m so happy for you,” Sam said. “I’ve been thinking about you all weekend.”
“What were you thinking?” she responded, curious.
“I have to admit that I’ve never felt so drawn to someone,” he said, blushing as the words left his mouth. “It’s kind of scary finding someone so intensely important so fast.”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t even know how to thank you Sam.”
“For what?” he asked, genuinely looking as though he did not know.
“For making me feel more comfortable in my own skin,” she said. “You treat me so well and you make my confidence go way up.”
“It’s only natural,” Sam said, shrugging. He leaned over and gave her a mischievous look. Then Sam was kissing her and Mika’s head spun in absolute circles. It was amazing, the way that his lips felt brushing innocently against hers and the way that he didn’t seem to care that people were staring and that he was kissing her in public. Sam had developed so much in the past couple of weeks, leaps and bounds away from the boy he was when they first met.
“Oh my god that is so cute!”
Mika broke away from the kiss to see that they were being joined by Tina and Brittany. Brittany was absolutely gushing as she sat down cross legged on the bench next to them. “Oh my god, you guys are the cutest couple that I have ever seen in my whole life. It’s just completely adorable.”
“I agree,” Tina said sweetly. Mika was glad that the tensions between them were slowly starting to leave. Tina was an amazing best friend and an even better sister.
“We’re not a…” Mika paused and then looked at Sam. “Are we?”
“I’d like to be.”
“Okay then we are a couple,” she said decisively, feeling stronger than ever.
They sat in silence for a little while, before Mika mentioned the first thing that came to mind which was of course, glee stuff. “Did you notice how off we were last week, practicing that one routine? I know I’ve been off my game as far as choreography but I’m starting to worry. If Aural Intensity has kept up the same showmanship that they displayed last year at Regionals then we have something to worry about.”
“Now they have Coach Sylvester on their side,” Tina agreed.
“It’s not the dancing exactly,” Sam observed. “It’s the fact that we don’t have a strong family dynamic anymore. We used to like take care of each other, even the people in glee that we weren’t close to. Now there’s this sort of divide that’s hurting us…”
“We’re split in two,” Brittany agreed softly. “I think it has to do with Mika and how people reacted to her.”
Mika flinched. It was blunt, but Brittany was definitely telling the truth. The differing reactions over her coming out as transgendered definitely lead to the divide. People were afraid of her, disliking while quietly tolerating her and it was uncomfortable. Quinn giving her death glares was particularly unnerving during rehearsals, especially when as the choreographer she worked pretty intimately with the other kids.
“Quinn’s been really driving me crazy,” she admitted. “Every time I get close to her she looks like I’m not worthy of walking on the same ground as she does.”
Sam scowled at the mention of her. Tina looked at Sam and nodded. “She has no right,” Tina said sadly. “She would be absolutely nothing without the help that this glee club gave her last year when she was pregnant.”
“That’s true,” Brittany mumbled. “She’s so mean. Mika is so amazing. How can someone be rude to her?”
“People suck,” Tina said.
“At least Finn has learned the decency to shut up,” Sam said, his voice tense.
“That’d be Kurt’s doing, I’m sure,” Tina mused, looking from Sam to Mika. “If Kurt’s isolating Finn enough, well, the cold-shoulder from Kurt Hummel is enough to get anyone to shut their mouths.”
“I hate that I cared so much what that bastard had to say,” Sam snapped, obviously anguished by this.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it Sam,” Mika said quickly. “I’m tough, I’ll survive. I just wish there was a way that we could get the New Directions family back to what it used to be. I used to really feel like I belonged there and I don’t anymore. It’s sad.”
“I think we need to come out and say it,” Sam told her.
“I agree,” Brittany said vacantly. “Being in glee used to be like a big family but it’s not anymore.”
“We should do something today.”
Mika tensed a little bit and nodded. “Maybe. Let’s see, take it as it comes, alright?”
They agreed to just take it as it came and see what happened but they were all obviously feeling the strain.
When Mika arrived at rehearsal three hours later, the tensions that they’d spoken of at lunch were completely obvious. Quinn and Finn were sitting at the opposite end of the choir room, close together. Santana was pretty close to them, lingering in the seat one level above. Mika could just feel the glares from the half of the glee club that couldn’t accept who she was.
Mr. Schuester walked in a few minutes afterward and before Sam could open his mouth to speak, like Mika sensed he wanted to, she raised her hand.
“Yes Mike…Mika…”
“I’m tired of being the cause of my family’s sudden divide,” Mika said softly, shaking her head a little bit. “I would really like it if anyone who has a problem with me would raise their hand.”
Quinn immediately raised her hand, looking at Mika as if she was daring her to defy that. Finn’s went up too, immediately after his sort-of girlfriend’s. Santana raised her hand defensively. Mercedes also raised her hand, more hesitantly but it was there all the same.
Mika breathed deeply.
“Mika, please, this isn’t a discussion we should…”
She turned to her teacher. “Mr. Schue, you’ve always prided in us being a family here in glee club,” she said. “Our family is breaking because people can’t handle the fact that I’m transgendered.”
“I can’t change opinions that your peers hold.”
“Hating me for who I am isn’t an opinion,” Mika said softly. “Quinn, you’re the younger daughter of Judy and Russell Fabray and sometimes you feel like you can never live up to your older sister. You cried for three weeks after you gave up your daughter, non-stop. You love the color purple and like to doodle fairytale characters on your math notebook.”
She breathed deeper and looked to Finn, continuing to rant. “Finn, you’re desperately afraid of driving, even though you feel like it takes cool points off of you. You always wanted a family but were scared to death when your mother married Kurt’s father. You never knew your dad but you’ve always tried to be someone that he could be proud of. You really would love to work in some kind of criminology field but you don’t feel like you’re smart enough to make the grades, even though I know you are.”
She looked to Mercedes and Santana, her other two opposition leaders, but she decided to leave them be, because she had rattled off enough and the only secrets she knew about them were far too deep to air out.
She swallowed and looked down. “I know a lot more about you guys than you ever knew about me, because I was always so quiet,” she admitted. “I’m Mika Chang, born Mike. I’m seventeen; I love to dance and want to open a studio some day. My fears include closed spaces and farm animals, thanks to a pig incident when I was five. My parents kicked me out of the house this year, but I live with my new family, Mari and Daniel Cohen-Chang, who I consider my parents and my sister Tina. I’m a girl with a penis.”
Mika exhaled and returned to Sam’s side. “I just want us all to be friends again,” she whispered.
Sam held her hand tightly in his.
Nothing else interesting happened throughout practice. The tension seemed to reach its peak, because Mika felt as though she could barely breathe the whole entire time.
It was only at the end of practice when Mika felt like she had made an impact. As she and Sam walked out of the choir room, they were followed by Finn.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Um. Things have been really tense at home. Kurt refuses to talk to me at all, except when mom makes him and uh, I’m sorry.”
Sam immediately jumped to Mika’s defense, before she even had a moment to get offended. “Your discomfort is not why you should apologize to her,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said, deeply. “You’re - really a girl aren’t you?”
Mika nodded.
“Finn,” she said. “Someone’s genitalia doesn’t equal their gender. What would you do if the closest person with gender issues wasn’t me? What would you do if Puck told you that he was a girl, or Rachel decided that she didn’t embrace either gender as hers? What would you do if it was anyone but that quiet Asian dude you took forgranted who found out she was girl?”
Finn was quiet for a long time. He looked seriously repentant. He struggled with his words. “Mika, I’m…sorry,” he said, using her real name. “I am.”