Fic: Disaster (3/?)
Title: Disaster - 3/?
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Word Count: 1100 this chapter | 3110 so far.
Summary: Sequel to The System. Kurt and Puck are still together after over a year’s trials and tribulations. In fact, they’ve even moved in together and are awaiting college in the fall. Everything seems perfect until one phone call changes the perfect world they’ve planned.
Previous Chapters: Located at the Directory here.
Puck didn’t really talk to Kurt again until he sunk down on their bed, closing his eyes. “I’m so freaked out Kurt,” he mumbled low. It seemed like he was stating the obvious but Kurt knew that sometimes his boyfriend had to say how he was feeling aloud, in order to face it head on. It was a coping mechanism he had noticed in the past. “I mean, God, how can I handle this? Can I be her dad? Will they even let me? I’m a fuck up. I was in juvie, I’ve…god, like I said, I can’t even handle having sex with my boyfriend, who I fucking adore. This is ridiculous.”
He rambled, laying flat on his back, eyes shut. Kurt crawled up onto the bed, and leaned into his side, cuddling up against him. “You’re anything but a fuck up,” he said seriously. “You’re strong and confident and you have endured so much.”
“So you tell me,” Puck mumbled, opening his eyes and putting his arm around Kurt’s smaller body, “and I get that, we have been through a lot and made it. But this, this isn’t just you and me.”
“No, it isn’t,” Kurt said honestly. “This involves your daughter.”
He was really scared for their future, as scared as Puck was, if not more, but he knew that his boyfriend needed the security of someone who loved him, someone who would be there for him and comfort him through his insecurities, not add more fear.
“I haven’t even really thought about Shelby yet,” Puck admitted to Kurt quietly. “She was really a kickass woman. I hated her, so much, when we first gave her Beth, because Quinn was so convinced she was the answer and I didn’t even know her. All I knew about her was that she had given Rachel up, just like we were giving up our baby. Quinn told me that maybe she deserved a second chance to have a daughter, which was so true, but I didn’t believe her. I was bitter and angry.”
“You had every right to be bitter and angry,” Kurt said quietly. “I mean, you were giving up a piece of you and she was the one supporting her.”
He nodded, slowly. “I just…she was awesome,” Puck said finally. “After I sorted out the juvie mess and we got back into contact, we talked on the phone a lot. She told me about all of Beth’s big moments - her first word, which was mama, her first steps, the way that she likes to sleep on her stomach with her knees pushed up under her, the way that she can’t sleep without her stuffed duck…Just, all these little things.
“That was sweet of her to share that with you…” Kurt mumbled. His words were useless, filler, but Puck had to get this out.
“The first time I had a visitation was so awesome,” he said. “She didn’t know me, of course, but she was crawling at that time, and crawled right into my arms.” Kurt watched the most beautiful smile wash over his face. “It was like, even though I wasn’t her daddy anymore, there was something in her that knew she was safe with me. I only held her for a minute before we gave her away, but god…it was perfect to hold her again.”
All Kurt could really do was rub his arm comfortingly.
“Shelby was a good mom,” Puck continued softly. “I just know it. There was something about the way Beth always looked at her, like she was the only thing in the world. She reminded me of my mom, Shelby, that is. My mom would have been just like Shelby was to Beth, if she had all of the resources that they had. A good mom just loves their kid so much. How can I ever live up to that?”
Kurt swallowed. “You will,” he swore, quietly. “What’s Beth like?” He had never met the child and he figured that it was a good question to ask.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve last seen her,” Puck answered, but his eyes lit up anyway, as he started to describe her. “She’s beautiful. She really looks like me, you know? She doesn’t look like Quinn that much, except for her eyes. She has Quinn’s beautiful eyes. She’s really shy, which is kind of funny. I guess that part of my DNA went missing. She’s loud though…has a set of lungs on her.”
He turned and leaned into Kurt’s shoulder. “I love her so much.”
“I know you do,” Kurt said, rubbing his back. He was getting kind of nervous.
Puck looked into Kurt’s eyes and the words that came out were shocking. “Kurt, can we…you know, like…do it?”
Kurt gasped a little bit. “Do it?” he asked, in shock. “What the heck?”
He frowned a little bit. “Well can you blame me?” he said softly. “I mean, we’ve been trying to get to that point forever. We’re about to enter something terrifying, and I want to get to that point now.”
It had been completely difficult for them; the process of intimacy for the couple had gone slowly, painfully slowly. They had tried to go all the way a few times, but couldn’t, not even with Kurt bottoming. “I can’t do that to you,” he had said softly, before pulling away the last time. It didn’t seem like they’d ever really get to that point. It was one of the few lingering reminders of how traumatic his boyfriend’s rape had been to him.
“It means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”
“Of course it does,” Puck said, laughing. “I mean, dude, Kurt, you’ve wanted to…for a long time now. I’m no virgin. This is stupid. I want to give you the most epic first time and I never could, and now our lives are about to change forever and something so insignificant shouldn’t be holding me under.”
Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “You shouldn’t feel pressured into that, just because everything’s changing.”
“C’mon Kurt,” he mumbled. “You said once that you had trouble denying me. I just need this right now. This is…really serious, where we’re heading and I can’t be screwed up anymore. I need to do what I’ve been dying to do for months and months and months!”
He kissed his nose. “For someone who spends so much time trying to be a badass, you’re so adorable,” he mumbled low. “I just want to see you happy and strong and knowing that you’ll make it through.”
“Then let’s be together, please.”
Kurt relented and kissed him again.
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Word Count: 1100 this chapter | 3110 so far.
Summary: Sequel to The System. Kurt and Puck are still together after over a year’s trials and tribulations. In fact, they’ve even moved in together and are awaiting college in the fall. Everything seems perfect until one phone call changes the perfect world they’ve planned.
Previous Chapters: Located at the Directory here.
Puck didn’t really talk to Kurt again until he sunk down on their bed, closing his eyes. “I’m so freaked out Kurt,” he mumbled low. It seemed like he was stating the obvious but Kurt knew that sometimes his boyfriend had to say how he was feeling aloud, in order to face it head on. It was a coping mechanism he had noticed in the past. “I mean, God, how can I handle this? Can I be her dad? Will they even let me? I’m a fuck up. I was in juvie, I’ve…god, like I said, I can’t even handle having sex with my boyfriend, who I fucking adore. This is ridiculous.”
He rambled, laying flat on his back, eyes shut. Kurt crawled up onto the bed, and leaned into his side, cuddling up against him. “You’re anything but a fuck up,” he said seriously. “You’re strong and confident and you have endured so much.”
“So you tell me,” Puck mumbled, opening his eyes and putting his arm around Kurt’s smaller body, “and I get that, we have been through a lot and made it. But this, this isn’t just you and me.”
“No, it isn’t,” Kurt said honestly. “This involves your daughter.”
He was really scared for their future, as scared as Puck was, if not more, but he knew that his boyfriend needed the security of someone who loved him, someone who would be there for him and comfort him through his insecurities, not add more fear.
“I haven’t even really thought about Shelby yet,” Puck admitted to Kurt quietly. “She was really a kickass woman. I hated her, so much, when we first gave her Beth, because Quinn was so convinced she was the answer and I didn’t even know her. All I knew about her was that she had given Rachel up, just like we were giving up our baby. Quinn told me that maybe she deserved a second chance to have a daughter, which was so true, but I didn’t believe her. I was bitter and angry.”
“You had every right to be bitter and angry,” Kurt said quietly. “I mean, you were giving up a piece of you and she was the one supporting her.”
He nodded, slowly. “I just…she was awesome,” Puck said finally. “After I sorted out the juvie mess and we got back into contact, we talked on the phone a lot. She told me about all of Beth’s big moments - her first word, which was mama, her first steps, the way that she likes to sleep on her stomach with her knees pushed up under her, the way that she can’t sleep without her stuffed duck…Just, all these little things.
“That was sweet of her to share that with you…” Kurt mumbled. His words were useless, filler, but Puck had to get this out.
“The first time I had a visitation was so awesome,” he said. “She didn’t know me, of course, but she was crawling at that time, and crawled right into my arms.” Kurt watched the most beautiful smile wash over his face. “It was like, even though I wasn’t her daddy anymore, there was something in her that knew she was safe with me. I only held her for a minute before we gave her away, but god…it was perfect to hold her again.”
All Kurt could really do was rub his arm comfortingly.
“Shelby was a good mom,” Puck continued softly. “I just know it. There was something about the way Beth always looked at her, like she was the only thing in the world. She reminded me of my mom, Shelby, that is. My mom would have been just like Shelby was to Beth, if she had all of the resources that they had. A good mom just loves their kid so much. How can I ever live up to that?”
Kurt swallowed. “You will,” he swore, quietly. “What’s Beth like?” He had never met the child and he figured that it was a good question to ask.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve last seen her,” Puck answered, but his eyes lit up anyway, as he started to describe her. “She’s beautiful. She really looks like me, you know? She doesn’t look like Quinn that much, except for her eyes. She has Quinn’s beautiful eyes. She’s really shy, which is kind of funny. I guess that part of my DNA went missing. She’s loud though…has a set of lungs on her.”
He turned and leaned into Kurt’s shoulder. “I love her so much.”
“I know you do,” Kurt said, rubbing his back. He was getting kind of nervous.
Puck looked into Kurt’s eyes and the words that came out were shocking. “Kurt, can we…you know, like…do it?”
Kurt gasped a little bit. “Do it?” he asked, in shock. “What the heck?”
He frowned a little bit. “Well can you blame me?” he said softly. “I mean, we’ve been trying to get to that point forever. We’re about to enter something terrifying, and I want to get to that point now.”
It had been completely difficult for them; the process of intimacy for the couple had gone slowly, painfully slowly. They had tried to go all the way a few times, but couldn’t, not even with Kurt bottoming. “I can’t do that to you,” he had said softly, before pulling away the last time. It didn’t seem like they’d ever really get to that point. It was one of the few lingering reminders of how traumatic his boyfriend’s rape had been to him.
“It means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”
“Of course it does,” Puck said, laughing. “I mean, dude, Kurt, you’ve wanted to…for a long time now. I’m no virgin. This is stupid. I want to give you the most epic first time and I never could, and now our lives are about to change forever and something so insignificant shouldn’t be holding me under.”
Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “You shouldn’t feel pressured into that, just because everything’s changing.”
“C’mon Kurt,” he mumbled. “You said once that you had trouble denying me. I just need this right now. This is…really serious, where we’re heading and I can’t be screwed up anymore. I need to do what I’ve been dying to do for months and months and months!”
He kissed his nose. “For someone who spends so much time trying to be a badass, you’re so adorable,” he mumbled low. “I just want to see you happy and strong and knowing that you’ll make it through.”
“Then let’s be together, please.”
Kurt relented and kissed him again.