To Michelle.
You were my world too, and I miss you also. I've been selfish, I've been wrong. Regardless of what the future holds, you have had more impact on my life in the last four years than any other person has, and overall it's all been for the better. I've become a colder, stronger individual in a sense. Should what happened back in December happen now, I might be sitting there cold and emotionless with you on that cold, concrete step, Yet every time our eyes meet I still want to break down and cry, cry like I did that one night in front of those orange apartments, cry like it was the twenty-eighth of December again. This is why I barely talk to you anymore. I know you hate my puppy dog eyes, yet I get them every time I see or hear from you, even at work, even after a conversation on the phone. You're the only person who still holds that kind of power over me and I don't know when it will stop; I loved you too much over those 7 months and 9 days to be able to just ignore it, and I doubt I'll ever be able to do that, even when I'm old and married-should that ever happen. I've also realized lately by talking to you that every last one of my life's problems originates from me alone. I should not be depressed, I shouldn't be making bad grades, My parents and I shouldn't hate each other, but all of these things are so because I choose them to be so. I need to stop making these choices. Yet another way you've helped and for years to come I can only imagine the list will only grow longer. I see why you were impatient with me, because lately, I've grown impatient with myself.